To think that sleep deprivation will eventually kill me?

[ToughTimes]

I've had a pretty shit month with Ds2 (9 months). No more than 2 hours continuous sleep a night before he wakes. He's just learnt to pull himself up and stand in his cot so loves doing it on a 2 hourly basis when he can.. If I ignore him he screams and cries, and wakes ds1 (2.7 years) up, who then is cranky all day.

I'm so tired I literally can't see straight. Ds2 slept at 8pm last night. He woke 7 times between 8pm and 3am and then just refused to sleep. I tried leaving him in his cot while I slept (we're in the same room) but he cried till i picked him up. I've tried rocking him, patting him, even fecking singing lullabies but he just won't sleep. He has 2 day naps of 45 mins-1 hour 3-3.5 hours apart. I've posted about this in sleep but apart from someone suggesting a sling for day naps didn't really get any advice. Am literally on my fucking fucking fucking knees :( :(

I totally sympathize with you. Do you have a travel cot? Sounds strange but they can't pull up on a travel cot and if they fall down the soft sides means they won't hurt themselves.

I tried it on advice by the sleep clinic and it worked. No more standing and screaming. This was with other advise on the sleep problem. I'd recommend sleep clinic like millpond every time. It's so tough and yes I thought it would kill me too.

Does he have a sleepingbag? That stops my ds pulling up so easily( he can still pull up but just with more effort)

Ds is 9 months, he sleeps in a cot at tge same height asmy bed we have taken tge side off the cot so we do co-sleep but ds has his own space.

He only wakes up once a night but I don't wake up he just helps himself to boob and the goes back to sleep.

You have my sympathy.
But repeat after me...
I will not die!!!
Its a phase it won't last forever, I promise.
My ds was a crappy sleeper, for 6 months I never slept for more than 45 mins, it slowly started getting better and now at 13 months he's just started sleeping through.
I know how you feel, I was scared I was going to accidently hurt one of us.
What worked for me? Co sleeping, the first time we put him in our bed he slept for 6 hours. You won't hurt him or roll on him. My ds still sleeps in our bed but with his cot attached to the bed. He's been so much happier since then and so have we.
I felt like I was tipping over the edge, going mad, one moment that sticks with me was being on the phone to a friend and asking her to tell me something that I wouldn't dream, so I knew that I was awake.
This might raise a few eyebrows but things improved greatly when I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months and went onto bottles.

Oh gosh you have my sympathy too. I have 5DC. With DC1 she had beautiful rocking cradle ~ would lie in it for 2mins then cry. I was in and out of bed like a yo~yo, honestly thought I would die. Abandoned cradle and co~slept. It was the physical getting out of bed that was too hard. At 12 months tried the cot but still waking up several times so back to co~sleeping til age 5!! With subsequent DC didn't even bother with cots, just bought super~king bed.

Now have 3 super~kings in house and everyone co~sleeps!! I don't care who sleeps where as long as sleeping and I don't have to get up. DC age from 11 years to 7months. Baby is bf and wake every 2~3 hours but I know it will get better................Know this probably isn't much help, sorry, but you're not alone x

I don't have much advice as both of mine have been terrible sleepers and I have been where you are and it is so, so hard. We went the route of what ever works to get sleep in the short term and did gentle sleep training when they were around 18 months. What helped us was that dh went in the spare room and I co-slept until around 5am. At 5 I handed over to dh who would wake me at the last possible moment before he went to work. Not ideal but by 18mths we got them sorted. Hope it improves for you.

I feel your pain. 8 mo non-sleeping twins. I moved them to their own room a few weeks ago but it doesn't really seem to have helped them sleep better. My sleep is slightly deeper as I can turn the monitor down a bit so don't hear every sigh. But a good night is 4/5 wakings. If I had one, I'd co-sleep (not really possible with two, unless I kick out DH permanently)

And we have more teeth on the way plus colds.

Thank you one and all for your advice. Just to clear up a few points:
DS won't take a dummy (I've tried!)
I sleep REALLY badly when we co-sleep so defeats purpose of getting rest..
I'm wavering between stopping bfing and carrying on. My sticking point is that DS has LOADS of allergies, including being cows milk protein intolerant . So I'd have to faff around making bottles at night with aptamil pepti..
He's teething at the moment, and has a terrible cold, and is learning new tricks so I feel mean sleep training him. I don't really have qualms about gradual retreat, the only factor being the noise would wake up my eldest.
DS is actually in a travel cot-his main cot hasn't been vacated by ds1 (who hates his big boy's bed).

I guess I'm answering my own question in that I have to put up with things for a while longer no matter how back breaking it is...

Could you moved ds1 back in with you and then put ds2 into that bedroom.

Or put the travel cot in the living room.

plummyjam you get back to sleep quickly after breastfeeding because of chemicals released during feeding which are designed to help you go back to sleep - great isn't it!
TT I think you'll have to do one or the other - co-sleep or move room. Hope things get better.

Don't move him to his own room, chances are he won't sleep better and you'll end up having to haul your arse out of bed every two hours which just makes going back to sleep harder.

Bitter experience. I'm with you on the no co-sleeping too. I tried that with my first and he ended up waking more often as he could smell the milk and I never slept well contorted around him.

Travel cots are very hard aren't they? Could you get a sidecar to your bed?

They are all different. I would try both approaches for a fortnight. DS now 22 months was a very lightsleeper. His own room made a big difference. I also found stopping bf at 9 months a big help. I know that's not a popular thing to say on MN but it might be worth trying a few diff approaches.