Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that 24 hours for a birthday party is not acceptable?

28 replies

spookyskeleton · 01/10/2013 19:35

DS2 got a party invite today for a party tomorrow evening. Is this really acceptable as I can't rearrange work at such short notice to be able to pick him up from after school club, can't find time in my working day to buy a present/card etc.

So the upshot is DS2 cannot go but on the flip side, they are in Reception so it would have been a good opportunity to socialise with his new friends.

Is 24 hours notice really sufficient??

OP posts:
Original poster
spookyskeleton · 01/10/2013 19:37

Oops I missed the word 'notice' out of the title Blush

OP posts:
mumof5plusazoo · 01/10/2013 19:38

Yanbu.
I would imagine most people wouldn't be able to sort a present, work, child care, etc in 24 hours

ilovepowerhoop · 01/10/2013 19:39

no, I normally give 2-3 weeks notice. The least notice we have been given for a party is 1 week I think.

Lilyloo · 01/10/2013 19:40

I wonder if the invitation has been loitering in ds tray or got misplaced on the way to you. I can't imagine anyone handing out invites for a party 24 hours later.

BrianTheMole · 01/10/2013 19:41

I've had this. I assumed my ds must have been given a second chance offer after someone else dropped out. But its too short notice. No harm in them asking though.

morethanpotatoprints · 01/10/2013 19:43

Are you sure it hasn't been in the tray since beginning of term. My ds used to do this regularly.
Just explain it was short notice and you didn't have time, they will understand or ask why you didn't know/ when you received invite etc.
This is what its like, believe me you need to get used to this Grin
Good luck OP.
Is there not another parent from school, nanny, cm who could take him.

CaptainSweatPants · 01/10/2013 19:43

Bet it's been languishing at school for the last 2 weeks

Pancakeflipper · 01/10/2013 19:44

Think there's been an organisational blip there ( or you are on the reserve list!). Poor birthday child - hope some people turn up.

My DS1 got an invite with 48hrs to go. His mother was stressing as got herself in a muddle. We were ok as it was on a weekend afternoon and we were here, but present buying was money stuffed into the card. Not all made it but those who did had a brill time.

Maryann1975 · 01/10/2013 19:45

No, it isn't enough notice, however we recently received a party invite for a party which was the day before we received the invite. (All invites were handed to the teacher the day before the party. Some invites were given out to the children the day before the party, some on the day and some the day after. All the invites had the wrong date on them, so much confusion ensued). In any case, my dc wouldn't have been able to go even if we had been invited the day before the party. Some things need more than 24 hours to organise and I can't drop everything to transport dc to a very late organised pArty.

DeWe · 01/10/2013 19:46

When dd1 had one like this the person had written the invites wrong and written September not October. She wasn't a native English speaker and it caused some confusion.

Chocotrekkie · 01/10/2013 19:46

Bet loads of the first set of invited guests have dropped out and they have invited another few to make up the numbers.

WaitMonkey · 01/10/2013 20:18

I've had this. The parents had only decided ti hold a party the day before the event. Shock Unfortunately dd couldn't go, but I think lots did.

PeppiNephrine · 01/10/2013 20:25

Then don't go. What does it matter who finds it "acceptable"?

Original poster
spookyskeleton · 01/10/2013 20:37

I asked DS2 if the invite had been in his tray and he said it just appeared in his bag this afternoon and he is truthful so I do believe him.

No-one else to take him. My DC go to after school club so not a CM/nanny, DH is away tomorrow, don't know the other parents yet.

Why can't the party be at the weekend?? I do hope enough children go!

OP posts:
Chrysanthemum5 · 01/10/2013 20:50

On the flip side - parents in my DD's class hand out invitations to parties 3-4 MONTHS in advance. By the time the party rolls round I'm exhausted with the stress of trying to remember its happening!

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 01/10/2013 20:58

Maybe you could just feel charitable about it and not get annoyed. You can't go. Okay. But maybe mum/ dad/ whoever was supposed to organise it made a mistake/ forgot/ whatever. Maybe yes, lots of their original list couldn't come so they invited your child so that their own is not horribly disappointed and let down on their birthday. Maybe people aren't perfect. Maybe they didn't do it this way just to piss you off.

Original poster
spookyskeleton · 01/10/2013 21:24

Judy - wow, I didn't say I was pissed off, just find it odd that somebody would think that giving so little notice is ok. It makes me feel so much better knowing DS2 is second choice Wink

Shoot me if you like but I also feel it is a SAHM not considering that not everyone is in that position and that 5pm on a weekday is not likely to be convenient for a high proportion of parents or their DC.

Tbh, this is the first time either of my DC have ever been invited to a weekday party Confused

OP posts:
Gossipmonster · 01/10/2013 21:25

Was thinking wow that's a long party Grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 01/10/2013 21:29

If you continue with this 'my way is the only way' attitude, it might be the last time too. Chill out & accept that not everyone sees things the same way you do.

ilovepowerhoop · 01/10/2013 21:34

it is strange that it is on a week night too - I have parties for the kids at the weekend closest to their birthday e.g. ds had his party on saturday but his birthday was not until today.

ilovepowerhoop · 01/10/2013 21:36

ps I am a SAHM and still wouldnt do a mid week party at 24 hours notice!

BackforGood · 01/10/2013 21:39

See - I opened this assuming you were talking about a sleepover Grin

Original poster
spookyskeleton · 01/10/2013 21:41

Yep, I do apologise for the typo in the title. Puts a whole new spin on it Grin

OP posts:
Nacster · 01/10/2013 21:41

LMAO, DD had her party today. One child was invited at 8.30 this morning (as I forgot to text her mum last week ) and one was invited at 2.45 this afternoon. They both made it, the second one a couple of hours late after parents got home from work, but still! Kids had a ball.

I did pick all the party kids up from school though (10 of them) and kept them here for 3.5 hours, so maybe that sweetened the pill of the terribly rude late invite!
That was the 22nd birthday party I've run between my DC, BTW. They don't need to be military operations!

I work (albeit PT) and have never done a termtime week night before, but the weekends didn't suit.

SummerRain · 01/10/2013 21:46

We have this a lot in our school. Parents all tend to be chronically disorganised so the longest warning we've ever had was a week and it's usually far less.

I've had 1 hours notice on multiple occasions as mothers decided to throw a party very last minute. On one occasion I was 50 miles away with the kids at swimming and got a call to say the party was starting in an hour... on the plus side I was near tesco that time so able to grab stuff Grin i've had to arrive empty handed and go shopping while they're there before. although we've dispensed with presents now and just do a fiver in a card so at least that avoids the mad scramble in to town to buy some tat.

It's a shame your ds can't go but that's the risk parents take organising things so late. Do you know anyone in his class at all... could you maybe ask at the school gate in the morning? I'm always more than happy to grab an extra child for these things and people have returned the favour for me when I've been stuck without a car so it's worth asking.

Swipe left for the next trending thread