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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a 7 year old shouldn't need constant reminding to eat with his mouth closed?

59 replies

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler · 01/10/2013 13:58

It's really grating on my nerves now, every mealtime I keep asking him/reminding him.

I can't stand the noise, I've asked him nicely, explained why its not nice, told him off, and it makes no difference.

I've suggested he put less in his mouth, so he can close it.

Maybe I just need ear plugs? I struggle to sit at the table with the slurping chewing noises.

Is there anything I can do, or do I just accept he is 7 and isn't going to remember?

OP posts:

FavoriteThings · 01/10/2013 15:41

Put a note by his plate every mealtime.

I sit possible that he has a bit of a blocked nose. Have read somewhere, maybe on MN maybe not, that children do that if there nose is partially blocked.

Also, does he have to be nagged a lot about other things. I had a child like that. Needed lots of reminders about all sorts of things. Recently he said to me, if I ever have children they are going to be a nightmare aren't they?!

FavoriteThings · 01/10/2013 15:41

Is it, not I sit.

Balaboosta · 01/10/2013 19:30

My DTs do this. Okay, so they are six. But my DM does it too! Talks with mouth full of food. It's like a watching a washing machine go round. But she also never taught me not to do, so I struggle to this day with table etiquette...

treaclesoda · 01/10/2013 19:35

my seven year old does this too. Drives me mad.

treaclesoda · 01/10/2013 19:37

mealtimes are a constant chorus of 'mouth!!' and 'is there a cave woman at the table?' but still she persists.

VerySmallSqueak · 01/10/2013 19:39

It hasn't occurred to me yet to teach my 7 year old to eat with her mouth closed....

amistillsexy · 01/10/2013 19:44

My seven YO does it as well, and I'm sure it's a recent thing (surely I'd have noticed this before?).
Funnily enough, my 6 and 10 Yos don't do it.

foslady · 01/10/2013 19:50

Have you ever made him sit opposite you so he can see how disgusting it is............?

Boaty · 01/10/2013 20:09

I've said on here before about my extreme aversion to this.. I feel/am nauseous. The DC learnt very young to eat properly or the meal would be removed a few meals taken way dealt with the issue. Oh, and before some says they have no food issues just good table manners t?h?e?y? ?m?a?y? ?h?a?v?e? ?o?t?h?e?r? ?i?s?s?u?e?s? ?a?n?d? ?c?a?n? ?b?e? ?a? ?r?i?g?h?t? ?r?o?y?a?l? ?P?I?T?A? My grandfather was repulsive and if you commented he did it worse! I removed myself from the room while he was eating when we were growing up.

LateBear · 01/10/2013 20:32

Can someone please tell my MIL how disgusting this is? Subsequently DH was never taught this either it makes me sick. So embarrassing when we are out to dinner. I've tried to tell him.

AnyFucker · 01/10/2013 20:37

Does this child need their adenoids removing ? Post nasal drip ? A deviated septum ? Just a thought...he might not be annoying on purpose.

IsabelleRinging · 01/10/2013 20:47

My DH still does it and he's 41. When I point it out to him he denies it, it seems subconscious, but he can chew with his mouth closed if he makes an effort. He also does a horrible tongue smacking thing with his teeth too.

zatyaballerina · 01/10/2013 21:43

Don't ask him, tell him. Before every meal 'we're going to eat now, you're going to eat with your mouth closed', every single time he opens his food filled mouth 'close it', explain how important it is to eat properly, how disgusting it is to see other people's chewed up food and nag him until he gets it.

Original poster

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler · 01/10/2013 21:46

I have been nagging him for years it feels like :o

Don't think it helps that daddy eats with his mouth open, he denies this of course.

Manners are very important to me, they are good at please and thank you.

I feel bad for going on at him but I can't stand the noise, perhaps I should just sit in the shed to eat my tea :o

OP posts:

VenusDeWillendorf · 01/10/2013 21:51

Take photos, or video them, and put a tick down every time you have to remind him. Those ticks add up to deprivations!!!

They could have blocked noses?
Try asking them to blow their noses when they wash their hands before meals.

If they are persistent mouth breathers, try getting home on a buteyko breathing course. Mouth breathing leads to all kinds of medical problems and disease, like asthma and bronchitis.

There's more to mouth breathing than table manners I'm afraid.

ghostonthecanvas · 01/10/2013 21:51

Isabelle - LTB
Cannot cope with that chomp, chomp, chomp. When my middle child kept doing it I sat him facing the wall at the breakfast bar. Mirror on the wall to show him how appealing he looked. Took 2 meals to sort. Never did it again.

LittleRobots · 01/10/2013 21:54

I can see both sides. Mouth noises really get to me. Its been discussed on here before, its a proper 'thing'. I tell my 4 year old to eat with her mouth closed. I sometimes worry if I'll give her issues!! I can't imagine not pointing it out to a child.

However, I was very asthmatic as a child,and allergic to dust, animals (we had a cat) and smoke (my parents smoked). I always had a blocked nose and had to mouth breath as a child a lot. I still have to with a gunky cold now.

VenusDeWillendorf · 01/10/2013 21:55

Or you could sit them in front of the washing machine and let them see how horrible their mouth looks when food is sloshing around and around.

Or take them out to restaurants more often and ask them to see if anyone there has disgusting table manners?

I like three strikes your out, and dinner is over also- harsh but gets the point home.

Or send them to boarding school. I remember one girl being called zanussi as she resembled a washing machine. She got the point - nothing like being ridiculed by your peers. This has the advantage of you being the good guy, and those pesky kids being the rude ones!

zatyaballerina · 01/10/2013 22:06

Nag his father too! Don't give up, I saw an adult woman outside a cafe eating something with her mouth wide open and bits were flying everywhere, you don't want him grow up and repulse total strangers like that

Keep on at him, a closed mouth will make a huge difference to his future love life and career prospects. I once got a promotion over the previously preferred candidate because he disgusted the boss at a business lunch with his open mouth eating and weird smacking noises.

miaowmix · 01/10/2013 22:08

Deeply annoying - nag away! Humming also drives me insane...

Pickle131 · 01/10/2013 22:26

My 13 year old is finally good at eating properly. The problem was absent mindedness so I gave him a tiny serving of dinner at a time, which kept it at the front of his mind. If he ate properly I'd praise and give more. He didn't get more or pudding if he even ate noisily once.
Eating like a washing machine was actually one of the reasons I'm no longer married to my son's father, no joke. So whatever you do, persist, so his wife isn't so disgusted that she leaves!

2kidsintow · 01/10/2013 22:36

I hate it when I have to see people eating with their mouths open. Some adults in the staffroom at work do it and it turns my stomach.

My 9 year old still needs reminding, but my 12 year old has it sorted now. Instead of nagging I either mimic what she's doing briefly, or just point at my own closed lips as I chew so she sees and copies.

2kidsintow · 01/10/2013 22:39

Although I remember suffering as a child. I had to chew with my mouth closed, but could never breathe through my nose.

It was torture.

KurriKurri · 01/10/2013 22:42

Bribery might work better - 50p per mealtime here he eats with his mouth closed?, - or stars to be saved up for a treat?
It might focus his mind onto consciously trying to keep his mouth closed, rather than nagging which he probably tunes out.

JulietBravoJuliet · 01/10/2013 23:31

I would love one mealtime with ds 7 where I don't have to remind him to use cutlery and to actually eat. He hates mealtimes, has no interest in food really, and him eating with his mouth open is the least of my worries!

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