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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just get my clothes in charity shops from now on?

32 replies

VulvaVoom · 30/09/2013 13:32

Just been out looking for a suitable outfit for a Christening and (rare) night out.

Am finding that the dresses are too short and tight or so thin and wispy that any puff of air would expose my bum and all tops are either crop/see through/animal print/tartan/delete as appropriate.

I'm short and overweight which obviously doesn't help but I'm starting to understand why some people hate clothes shopping!

I love charity shops and will often find something there that is more suitable and looks better on me but I'm worrying that I'm becoming mumsy/out of fashion (being a Mum of an 11 month old who doesn't read fashion mags and just buy what I like rather than what's 'in fashion')

I feel good about finding something a bit different and also that I'm helping out charities but am worrying that people will think, what the hell has happened to me and that I've let myself go. Am also going out with girls who wear the latest lovely dresses and will feel like the granny of the group, arrrgh!!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/09/2013 13:37

Of course YANBU - you are being very sensible IMO.
I buy all sorts of stuff in charity shops that I'd never spend the money on "new", often picking up far better quality garments than I could afford if I were buying new, and certainly being able to 'justify' to myself, buying new clothes when perhaps I might not even "need" them.
How wld anyone know you got something from a charity shop and not directly from new, anyway unless you were boasting about your bargain ?

Fairylea · 30/09/2013 13:45

EBay ?? Lots more choice !

Beastofburden · 30/09/2013 13:47

The thing about charity shops is you go in there ready to compromise because what you see is what there is. If it fits you are already doing well.

I think it is a great way to reduce the stress of choice overload. I didnt buy ne stuff for about 10 years when the DC were young, for me or for them, expect under duress.

PottyLotty · 30/09/2013 13:50

If you are concerned about being 'out of touch with fashion' then why not buy retro/vintage or go for classic outfits that span many generations such as black trousers and fitted tops.
I have a wardrobe full of my Grans clothes and wear her vintage 50's stuff all the time with lots of compliments. Her 70's/80's stuff really was a little too 'weird' for my liking.
Charity shops locally to me are full of really good retro/60's/70's clothing.

ICameOnTheJitney · 30/09/2013 13:51

I almost only ever shop in charity shops. I can get better quality clothing! There are many lovely things...hardly or never worn and great high street brands and designer too.

I've got some gorgeous stuff. Go to the well-heeled areas OP.

chirpchirp · 30/09/2013 13:52

I used to work in a really nice area in Edinburgh. The charity shops in that part of town are fantastic. Tonnes of decent labels, really good quality and in good condition. I still love my Chole bag that I picked up for £40!!!

But back to you... No, YANBU, if you like it, it fits and it's much cheaper I really don't see any downside.

FrenchRuby · 30/09/2013 13:54

I wear mainly vintage style stuff and have found some absolute bargains in charity shops!

CailinDana · 30/09/2013 13:59

I think buying what's in fashion regardless of whether it fits/suits you is bonkers. I've had a few
nice comments over the years about my clothes, mainly that I look "well turned out." I haven't the first clue about fashion but I do know what suits me. I mainly buy from supermarkets as I have so little time for shopping! I think having your own style is much better than just blindly following fashion.

Snipface · 30/09/2013 18:03

Yanbu - I love charity shops, only way I can afford posh clothes, yy to shopping in posh areas, lots of boden things!
I tried to find a new dress the other week, and came home defeated, everything too short, too bodycon, or skater style - not a good look for a 40 yr old with podgy knees! Wore my m&s little black dress (from the charity shop) instead.

redexpat · 30/09/2013 18:34

I've learned to sew. When you buy a pattern you can make more than one of something, usually with variations. I never had much luck in charity shops.

SunshineMMum · 30/09/2013 18:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SunshineMMum · 30/09/2013 18:41

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Original poster
VulvaVoom · 30/09/2013 19:50

I feel better now, thanks all. Going to a 'posher' part of where I live later this week to look for something to wear - great idea!

OP posts:
SunshineMMum · 30/09/2013 20:26

This reply has been deleted

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dementedma · 30/09/2013 20:33

I buy loads in charity shops. One of my best buys was when I needed a posh frock for an awards dinner. Got a midnight blue,heavily beaded one which I have now worn to a couple of things and people always ask what designer it is.dunno, cost me £8 in a Debra shop.

frustratedashell · 30/09/2013 20:45

I used to work for Debra! Love charity shop stuff.

lizzzyyliveson · 30/09/2013 20:45

Tsk. I bet your 11 month old would read fashion mags if you offered them. Grin

VerySmallSqueak · 30/09/2013 20:50

The last wedding I went to I looked everywhere for a posh frock and the best I found was in a charity shop for £4.75.

I buy very little new.

Shallishanti · 30/09/2013 20:57

to do well with charity shops, though, you have to go with the right attitude-
a kind of zen non-attachment
instead of actually looking for something specific, because that way lies disappointment
just go with a totally open mind
I broke this rule and went looking for a coat for DD2 was a complete failure - should have know better!

itsnothingoriginal · 30/09/2013 21:24

I used to buy a lot in charity shops but where I live they have hoiked up the prices to a ridiculous level for their clothes! I just can't pay £5 for a balled up,' George' T shirt or £10 for a well washed Top Shop dress. More often than not I leave empty handed or give a donation and then end up shopping at the supermarkets/high street for clothes..

Probably when I do find something I'm following the great advice above about going in with a kind of zen non- attachment policy!!

valiumredhead · 30/09/2013 21:31

You have the best name ever OP. FactGrin as my ds would say

CerealMom · 30/09/2013 21:35

Fashion = buying what shops tell (stock) you to wear

Style = buying what suits you on the outside and inside

I love charity shops/eBay. This Autumn/Winter I will mainly be wearing 'old lady chic'. Tweed, boiled wool, cashmere, silk scarves, Aran knitwear and pleats. I love charity shops.

Original poster
VulvaVoom · 01/10/2013 09:13

Lizzzy she's more of a Take a Break girl waving about and ripping it up mainly Grin

Why, thank you Valium On a kind of related note, DH called DD's vulva her 'Noon' the other day, a la 'TOWIE' and now I can't stop bloody saying it, argh!

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 01/10/2013 09:15

i get lots of clothes from charity shops and ebay and got some bargains too

i love it when i get something really nice from a charity shop/ebay i get far more excited than when i have bought something new

3birthdaybunnies · 01/10/2013 09:21

Charity shops are great - go to a good area. When your dc are a bit older they can look through the toys as you look through the clothes. also great for cheap stocking fillers, toys for the dc