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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Its not okay is it? sitting/ standing in the shopping part of the trolley?

435 replies

Feminine · 30/09/2013 11:46

I'm sure this has been done many times.

I'm thinking about it today though Grin

If your child is too big to want or can't fit in the seat part you don't then let them climb in the other part of the trolley?

Filthy dirty feet where I'll put my food.

Standing up (dangerous)

I'm not being unreasonable to suggest that its the seat, or walk right?

I saw this with several families yesterday...it got up my nose Wink

Oh and I know there are germs everywhere... this makes it worse

OP posts:
NeverGetTheBestOfMe · 01/10/2013 18:35

To be fair I think in the 70s we had local shops and supermarkets weren't such a big, dominant thing so the whole concept of shopping has changed.

I don't like the argument "it keeps them quiet" and "they won't do as they are told otherwise." Don't get me wrong my kids can be testing but they know there are consequences which are followed through. So all this "my kids want to sit in the trolly or they will be little shits " argument is nonsense and lazy.

stella69x · 01/10/2013 18:59

Don't get it - seat is for sitting, basket is for shopping. If child is too big for seat they walk. Rains or wrist strap if they are still leaning how to behave in shops. Tasks to find required items to keep occupied.

neverputasockinatoaster · 01/10/2013 19:46

stella the last time I used a wrist strap on DS he sat down, took it off, handed it back to me and proclaimed 'Mummy, I am not a puppy, I am a BOY!'.....

He was 2.

I have no opinion either way on reins and wrist straps. I just know their use in this family invokes a very full on sit down protest!!!

Original poster
Feminine · 01/10/2013 19:52

The pack-packs with 'reins' attached are useful.

OP posts:
eisbaer · 01/10/2013 20:05

OP I am guessing you don't have many kids. YABU totally to judge other mums on such a non-issue and feign concern over hygiene. What you wanted to make clear is how lazy and non-supernanny-adherent some mums are compared to you. My kids behave beautifully at school, in other people's houses and all the places that matter. I am constantly told this. In the supermarket, which is hell of a boring for any kid, I cut them slack, let them ride in the trolley and I often give them a snack as they cruise round in their blissful state. So you would probably come out in hives if you saw us.

MissDD1971 · 01/10/2013 20:06

Reins for kids. I'm in 2 minds about them. Don't have kids so...

On 1 hand I feel kids should walk properly from a certain age and not need reins. on the other hand I'm sure if used correctly on kids (I'm guessing you use them up to say 3 years maximum right??) they can control an otherwise boisterous, rampaging (in a nice way) young child who can walk/run. and also from being with friends with young kids there's only so many times where they either a) don't want to go in pushchair, b) get tired holding mum's hand c) want to be carried etc. so reins would be an option??

Am I right here?

MissDD1971 · 01/10/2013 20:08

eisbaer - no matter how well the OP's kids do or do not behave why should kids be allowed in the MAIN part of the trolley? it's for FOOD not a child.

Boobybeau · 01/10/2013 20:11

People who don't understand why anyone would put their child in the shopping bit has obviously never had to endure a shopping trip with a child with learning difficulties who is too big to sit in the seat. The whole 'they either walk or sit in the sear' is not applicable to us. Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge.

eisbaer · 01/10/2013 20:12

The germs argument just doesn't stand up for me, starlings permanently perch on the main trolley bit when they're parked up. So there is no issue. All a bit OCD if you ask me.

MissDD1971 · 01/10/2013 20:16

Boobybeau - it was covered a few pages back that with kids with SN's it was ok to put them in main trolley. normal kids no. and I tend to agree with that.

and eisbar - I don't even see it from the germs issue it's more an adult thing - why should kids be in the main FOOD part of the trolley? either they walk, or are in the sitting part. it's more of an adult thing e.g. how to behave and TBH shouldn't be seen as a treat - oh you can ride in the main part of the trolley. The trolley isn't a toy.

I wonder what supermarket employees/supermarkets think of this.

MissDD1971 · 01/10/2013 20:19

oh and Boobybeau I wasn't judging you re your kids with learning difficulties/SNs. so don't try to say I was judging you, please. And I understand re kids with SNs and their parents - my good friend has a kid with autism etc...

If you read the thread it is more about normal kids than kids with SNs.

IcedCoffeeQueen · 01/10/2013 20:24

what is a 'normal' kid exactly and how do you know from looking if they have SN or not Confused

MissDD1971 · 01/10/2013 20:30

a normal kid is one without SN - I suppose that sounds politically incorrect. sorry.

I can't tell from looking but by my neighbour's son's behaviour and speech you can tell almost immediately.

I have also seen a fair few kids (normal and not) and you can tell some of the more afflicted autism/special needs re if they rock, have trouble speaking, Down's syndrome etc. this is in supermarkets/shopping centre.

I can also actually tell re my friend's DD who has ADHD when she takes her medication or not and how she behaves. e.g. she rushes straight up to e.g. paintings etc in an art gallery and almost touches them - without her medication. it sounds mean but it's almost like she's speeded up, if you see what I mean. and her actions seem quite heightened.

LouiseAderyn · 01/10/2013 20:38

I would never let a child sit in a shallow trolley, but tbh, I think they are probably safer sitting in a deep trolley than wandering around a shop with all those people carrying metal baskets at their head height!

I think people should mind their own business wrt how other people manage their own dc/shopping trips.

Original poster
Feminine · 01/10/2013 20:40

eis you guessed a bit wrong. I have 3.

I didn't read the rest of your rant post -soz

OP posts:
badbelinda · 01/10/2013 20:42

I'm with Gangsters - sitting in trolley reading a book makes what could be a really tedious chore for DS more bearable and I'm less hassled. If other people are looking at me askance I frankly don't give a toss.

Boobybeau · 01/10/2013 20:43

It's a very dangerous way to go saying you can just tell usually. How do you know that the 'normal' child you've just been tutting at hasn't got a disability that you're not aware of? And yes, it isnt just not very politically correct to say that a 'normal' child is one with out SN, it's also infuriating and hurtful IMO.

Original poster
Feminine · 01/10/2013 20:49

So many defensive posters all of a sudden!

I don't like it. I started the thread because I don't!

I can't be bothered to look at people doing it however. Confused anyway

booby with all due respect. We covered children with additional needs a few pages back, and in missDD 's defence she was in agreement that those children have to be catered for differently!

OP posts:
Madmartigan · 01/10/2013 20:51

DH allowed our DS to do it once. Wish he never had. Has to be better than the time he hid behind the milk though. I really would never have found him. Mentalist. DS that is, not DH.

IcedCoffeeQueen · 01/10/2013 20:51

Less not politically correct, more rude and insulting tbh. My ds is a normal child he also happens to have ADHD and Sensory processing difficulties amongst other things, his SN is mild and you couldn't spot it from seeing him sitting in a trolley even members of his own family struggle to see it. Its actually very difficult to see the difference between naughty rude behaviour and SN sometimes a child can even be displaying both at once because they are you know a 'normal' child.

Original poster
Feminine · 01/10/2013 20:55

I can relate to that iced my son has a similar diagnosis.

Invisible to others I'm sure.

I honestly don't think missDD ment any harm. I read her posts pages back.

I think she is coming from a position of trying to understand hopefully she will come back.

OP posts:
AnxiousMummyAnxiousDD · 01/10/2013 21:00

I did this when my two where very small (small age gap) because it can be very hard to find a double trolley with 2 seats. One of my local Tesco, a massive Tesco Extra, said that they only have 6 double trolleys for the entire store.

So at any one time a couple may be in use and the rest are distributed around the various trolley parks around the car park, making it impossible to find one.

Boobybeau · 01/10/2013 21:00

Ooh, you've covered the whole special needs thing already. my bad, I'll just go and sit back in my box as us special needs parents have already spoken. I'll leave you 'normal' parents to bash it out and carry on judging each other then. Jeez

nelson7 · 01/10/2013 21:14

jesus just one more thing we would do without thinking that other people think is wrong/rude/dirty. our kids go in the trolley coz its fun. y'all think too much about everything.

TheGinLushMinion · 01/10/2013 21:22

Meh, I do this with my 'normal' Hmm 4 year old-judge away...