Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say NO to this?

57 replies

clam · 29/09/2013 12:38

DD is in Year 11. She has been pledging to get her head down this year and work as hard as she can Hmm in order to get the best grades she can in her GCSEs.
Her school is closed for strike action on Tuesday. I think this is an ideal opportunity to put her plan into action and do some extra work.
She and her friends have hatched a plan to go to Thorpe Park for the day. She wants me to do one of the lifts (back).

I'm adamant that she shouldn't go. She's appalled (as only a 15 year old can be) that I "seriously" expect her to work on "her day off." DH (bloody lightweight!) is wavering.

Well? AIBU?

OP posts:
Mojavewonderer · 29/09/2013 14:06

YANBU but have given in anyway.

I am incredibly lucky though as my daughter went into school on a bank holiday to do extra study for her SATS.
My daughter would rather study than go to Thorpe Park anyway because she has high expectations and is determined to become a doctor.

Original poster
clam · 29/09/2013 16:06

Jolly good.

OP posts:
kali110 · 29/09/2013 16:31

Didnt think uwbu especially as she would have been in school anyway. Think its taking the piss asking you for a lift too

kali110 · 29/09/2013 16:33

Didnt think uwbu especially as she would have been in school anyway. Think its taking the piss asking you for a lift too

SoonToBeSix · 29/09/2013 16:56

Yabu I have a 15 year old dd, they are under a lot of pressure with GCSE 's would be good for her to have a fun day with her friends.

QueenofallIsee · 29/09/2013 22:21

Mine is going skating and shopping. She is a good girl who works hard, is on top of her workload and helps round the house. If any of those boxes weren't ticked her behind would be at her desk all day!

whatastar · 29/09/2013 22:25

first ive heard of schools striking on tues , is it only in certain areas ?

Bowlersarm · 29/09/2013 22:27

YABU

Teachers aren't working. Neither should she.

Original poster
clam · 30/09/2013 08:53

Two unions, one of which is striking in two shifts, North and East tomorrow, South and West on the 17th. The other one is just tomorrow. Although there is another strike planned before Christmas I believe, not sure of the date yet.

OP posts:
heartisaspade · 30/09/2013 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CeliaFate · 30/09/2013 09:15

I'd let her go and give her a lift, but make it clear that you expect her to knuckle down and if she doesnt', you won't cut her any slack next time.

CeliaFate · 30/09/2013 09:15

Grr misplaced apostrophe - *doesn't.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 30/09/2013 10:02

Ohhh go on! She's 15 fgs. THIS is the time where cheeky extra days off can be used for days out to a theme park.

Original poster
clam · 30/09/2013 10:32

I don't feel sorry for her re: ds. On paper she's 'brighter' than he is, but their differences in character (he's bullish, confident, ambitious and competitive with his geeky mates, whereas she's less confident, diffident and often plays the ditzy "I don't get it" role) means that so far, he has achieved better results. She has stated that she wants to change this and that's great. But she's got some ground to make up and I suppose I thought that this might be an opportunity to get on with things.
Dh says I'm deluded! Says there's not a 15 year old on the planet that would pass up an opportunity for an unexpected day out. Except mojavewonderer's dd, maybe.

OP posts:
heartisaspade · 30/09/2013 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
clam · 30/09/2013 11:54

I might be over-stating the case. And I'm possibly feeling a little guilty that I've maybe been a little too lax on the supervision of homework front over the years. I seem to have got away with it with ds, but dd might need a little bit more help and support in organising herself. Or maybe not? She's got her head screwed on quite firmly, actually, and certainly gave a good account yesterday during our chat.

It's such a fine line to tread! Don't want to hover and nag, but don't want to wonder if I could have done more.

OP posts:
heartisaspade · 30/09/2013 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
clam · 30/09/2013 13:11

Depends what you mean by "within reason." Sounds like your family's situation is a bit extreme, but I would be doing my children a huge disservice if I were to sit back and wash my hands of their exam years. They're really important theses days.

As I've said, I think if anything I've been too laid back up til now. I've recently heard of families not booking holidays/weekends away between now and May, because of their children's revision schedule. That had never even occurred to me! An still hasn't, let me be clear! We will be having lots of down time and social fun.
And dd thinks I'm the best ever. For the moment anyway. She did stacks of online maths and history programs yesterday, walked the dog twice, sorted her bedroom out and kept hugging me!

Thanks MN!

OP posts:
GoldenGytha · 30/09/2013 13:27

Ach, I would let her go, a day away from her books will do her the world of good, a cheeky day off will do no harm,

I say that as the mum of two very studious girls, who like a poster's DD above, would still study on In Service Days and suchlike. DD2 in particular always had to be reminded to take time out for herself.

Your DD will be refreshed, having had a fun day out with her friends, and you could always say that if she has this day off, then she has to knuckle down the rest of term.

greenbananas · 30/09/2013 22:06

So glad this has worked out well for you Smile You are a star mummy, and your dd will always remember you letting her take responsibility like this. Wouldn't be surprised if she achieves much better in the long run because of it.

(Not taking holidays between now and May because of revision schedules is completely bonkers and kind of abusive really. It is a very cruel and counter-productive thing to put that kind of pressure on. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child says that children and young people have the right to play - and of course they need to have a work/life balance in order to become happy and well balanced adults who are able to organise their own lives.)

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 30/09/2013 23:49

Clam - good decision :) and such a dignified reply earlier Grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 30/09/2013 23:53

YANBU but have given in anyway. I am incredibly lucky though as my daughter went into school on a bank holiday to do extra study for her SATS. My daughter would rather study than go to Thorpe Park anyway because she has high expectations and is determined to become a doctor

... she's probably spending all her 'study time' FaceTiming friends and around the back of the bike shed smoking Grin

What an uber twatty post.

NoComet · 01/10/2013 00:04

YABU
Y11 get bugger all fun and far too much stress. Especially with CA and other course work messing up all this year and a lot of last.

curlew · 01/10/2013 00:04

Just about to say something similar, Chipping- but you put it so much better....

NoComet · 01/10/2013 00:07

And Mo sadly one day your DD will fail an exam because the stress will catch up with her.

I had a DF who was like that and he'd have got much better A levels if he had relaxed a bit.