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Original poster

(D)H shrank my dress - to say that I'm pissed off

40 replies

Laleloola · 29/09/2013 10:14

is an understatement Angry grrr. Angry Sad

Two weeks ago I bought a very nice dress from Phase Eight. It was the first non-maternity item of clothing I have bought since I had dc2 10 months ago. I have lost a bit of weight recently and I bought this as a treat so that I wouldn't have to wear my maternity dresses any longer.

He banged it in the washing machine together with the kids' jeans etc and now the dress is ruined.

I have thrown a might strop over this ( I know that is bu) and he has apologised but he doesn't seem to think he did anything wrong. I am mainly pissed of that (a) now I don't have a nice dress any longer and have to wear my boring maternity dresses and (b) that he didn't hesitate to think before putting a dress in with the DC's clothes. I mean wtf? Anyway, rant over.

OP posts:
ipswichwitch · 29/09/2013 10:22

This is the sort of thing DH would do, then get all hurt and huffy, and say "I thought I was being helpful doing the washing" Hmm

When I met him he would literally take off dirty clothes, put them in the washer, then when it was full add the soap powder and wash. No sorting of colours/fabrics etc. then he wondered why all his whites went dingy grey and half his tshirts shrunk.

I have spent the last 5 years trying to teach him to sort washing and what can be tumble dried (its not rocket science ffs) and still he doesn't get it. Then MIL helpfully announces that since he never did any of that stuff when he lived at home, I can't expect him to get it now. Erm, yes I can.

JuniorMint · 29/09/2013 10:24

Very annoying. DH ruined a belt that went with a play suit I had as he bunged it all in the wash without removing the belt! And before anyone thinks it- I didn't put it in the washing basket with the belt attached! We'd been away and he took it straight out of the suitcase to wash. The most annoying thing was I felt guilty being mad at him as I didn't want to put him off putting a load of washing in in the future Grin. I have been searching high and low for a suitable replacement belt ever since...!

raisah · 29/09/2013 10:27

Buy another one no two and bill him for it...

FaddyPeony · 29/09/2013 10:29

You're not BU to feel the rage. Mine does this quite often and it's quite extraordinary how annoyed I feel with him for doing it. He is always v. apologetic but sometimes he says stuff like 'OK from now on I'll leave the laundry to you' which is so NOT the point.

I feel angry sometimes that he still will not check labels and will tumble dry stuff willy-nilly or not separate colours. Having said that, he's getting better. I pull him up every time but I try to do it in a nice way because although I feel angry it is not the end of the world. The fact is that DH doesn't separate laundry because he doesn't care very much about clothes. He's not fastidious with his own so it wouldn't occur to him that I would get so upset about it (unlike him I spend a long time choosing my clothes). So it's just not on his radar.

Have a wallow, feel the rage, but don't let this blow out of proportion. Two suggested ways forward:

  1. DH ruins your dress, he buys you another to replace it.
  2. DH only washes his own and DCs clothes from now on.

I prefer option 1.

Saltire · 29/09/2013 10:29

MIL shrank a pair of DHs work trousers - his are Militarty Issue and can be washed on a wool wash/handwash cycle on the washing machine which is what I do.

However when she was teenager/dog and house sitting for us a couple fow eeks she thought it would be a good idea to go raking through our laundry basket and wash stuff.
The trousers were washed, along with some towels and jeans 9which also shrank) on an 80 degree wash!

don't get me started on the other stuff she did

FaddyPeony · 29/09/2013 10:31

One other thing.

Is it possible that your DH doesn't understand the care symbols on clothing? Or even know that they're there? I double-checked (in a nice way) with DH that he did know they existed. He said that he did know but tbh I'm not convinced :)

Original poster
Laleloola · 29/09/2013 10:34

He has offered to replace it but we are very short of cash right now and there is little joy in spending more money just to have the same dress. Grrrr

I should go and apologise for my strop now but I am very miffed indeed.

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 29/09/2013 10:38

So buy a different one and he can miss out on something to find the money. Don't go without. I bet he wouldn't if it were reversed

FaddyPeony · 29/09/2013 10:38

Yes apologise, say it's not the end of the world at all but that you'd like to take him up on his offer to replace. It will mean he won't do it again. I know you're short of cash but this dress was important to you.

FlapJackFlossie · 29/09/2013 10:42

Good grief - do people still separate whites and colours? I haven't done that for years !!

FaddyPeony · 29/09/2013 10:46

I'm a recent enough convert FlapJack Grin. It does make a difference. Was just sick of throwing money down the toilet by not washing stuff properly and ending up with a load of grey, shrunken shite.

Trills · 29/09/2013 10:46

Do you have "spending money" that belongs to each of you individually, separate to the "rent/bills/food/children" budget?

(you should)

Replacing the dress should come out of his spending money.

Don't rage too much though - it's just a mistake. Have you never shrunk or damaged something of your own?

nextphase · 29/09/2013 10:46

Have you checked the washing instructions? Any chance he did follow them, and it dress is faulty?

I'd put a dress in with jeans, if they were all suitable for the wash cycle I was going to do. Whats wrong with that?

And yes, I separate whites and colors. DH had pink gym socks for years 'cause I thought it will be OK, but there was a red teeshirt in there, and he refused to bin perfectly good (pink) socks

Original poster
Laleloola · 29/09/2013 10:47

Went down in order to apologise and he and dc1 are nowhere to be found Hmm

He either:

a) went to town to replace the dress (which would be very sweet and he'd be forgiven in in instant for making the efforts)

Or

b) thought I was a mighty cow this morning and has takeoff with DC1 (not likely, or...? Hmm )

OP posts:
Original poster
Laleloola · 29/09/2013 10:48

Taken off, not takeoff Hmm

OP posts:
Trills · 29/09/2013 10:48

Or...

Thought that you'd feel angry every time you saw him, so took himself out of the way so that you could calm down in your own time and not feel like you had to stay upstairs

Original poster
Laleloola · 29/09/2013 10:48

Oh god bloody typos, sorry.

OP posts:
TwoMuchTwoYoung · 29/09/2013 10:48

Of course you separate white and colours, why wouldn't you?

Original poster
Laleloola · 29/09/2013 10:49

Anyways, now I just feel embarrassed for kicking up a fuss about this. Oh well. Shit happens and all.

OP posts:
5madthings · 29/09/2013 10:50

Seriously are there so many me incapable of doing laundry?!!

My d always checks labels on anything new he doesn't know how to wash, ditto before tumbledrying anything.

I would be mightily pissed off.

I hope he has gone to get you the dress and a suitable grovelling treat :)

FaddyPeony · 29/09/2013 10:50

I reckon he's just giving you some space so that you can relax and have a cup of tea in peace. He's probably not buying you the dress tbh (he might not remember size - but if I'm wrong full credit to him!) but it's still a nice gesture.

Hope you have a good Sunday.

Trills · 29/09/2013 10:50

Because it's 2013 and most colours don't actually "run"?

Because you don't wear much white and waiting for a whole load of white would mean things sat in the basket for a month?

5madthings · 29/09/2013 10:50

And yes sedate whites and coloureds, well colors that will run and all white school shirts go in on their own once a week on a proper hot wash to at least try and keep them white...

whois · 29/09/2013 10:59

Of course you separate white and colours, why wouldn't you?

I don't. The whites stay white and the colours don't run. I'll generally do a 'darks' wash only if I've got new jeans or something washed for the first time.

I tumble dry nothing tho (bed sheets and towels excluded) as that is 100% sure fire way to shrink things.

Discolite · 29/09/2013 11:02

This is why I do my laundry and ironing and DH does his! Especially after a few weeks ago when he decided to do my washing for me and washed my silk nightdress in the washing machine...sigh.

I'll deign to wash some his things to make up a full load though.

You aren't wrong to feel annoyed. Having a nice new dress ruined, even by accident is always annoying.