or is my CM losing the plot

[komono]

My CM picks up DS from school along with several other children.

On Mondays, I pick up DS, the rest of the week CM picks him up and has him until 6pm. I have arranged with the mother of another boy who the CM picks up that I pick him up on Mondays as well - this saves the mum from some CM fees. The CM is aware and is available to pick up if I am unable to.

Last Monday I picked up both boys, his mother told me to pick him up that morning. I missed a message at school run time because I left my phone in the car, from the CM, asking me if I was picking up the other boy. I responded 15 minutes later via text that, Yes, I had picked him up. His mother rang me in a panic not long after that because the CM had rung her and told her she couldn't find him at the school - all was fine as he was with me, as arranged. Panic over.

On Tuesday at 4pm the CM rang me at work, asking me if I had my DS as she couldn't find him then waffled on about the previous days debacle over finding the other boy the previous day. I was stunned and my head was spinning, and finally managed to get a word in and ask her ' do you have my DS?'; to which she replied 'Yes I have, I just wanted you to know what it felt like yesterday when we couldn't find other boy!'.

I was fucking horrified and told her that it wasn't my responsibility to tell her that I was picking up other boy, that was between her and his mother and also how WRONG it was to call me up and 'pretend' she can't find my son. When I picked up DS later a row ensued as she was saying I didn't bother to pick up my phone on Monday, so I got DS and left.

She later came to my house (lives nearby) and apologised - I apologised for shouting at her in front of another parent who had come to collect their DC earlier.

so, the rest of the week its been business as usual, though I still felt a little sick about the whole thing.

Yesterday CM picked up children from school and took them to the supermarket where she proceeded to do her weekly shopping - she got food from the hot food counter for them which they ate sitting on chairs where people wait, then dropped them off home. Now I feel even more 'taken the piss out of'.

My DS still wants to carry on going there, because he is with his friends and they have been together a long time, but I'm really torn. I will speak to her about her shopping on my time on Monday

Seriously, our nanny is on £10.76 per hour gross - and we're in South Bucks, so not know for its cheap childcare costs.

Admittedly our nanny is on a FT wage; but my friend has a nanny who covers the pre- and post-school period only and she's on £11.21 per hour gross.

Your CM seems to be massively overcharging, at least to me.

Our local CMs charge the same hourly rate irrespective of the number of hours you want - presumably because it's easier for them to fill "empty" hours/days, IYSWIM.

We pay our NANNY barely more than that and she does all our laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, light housework, as well as all the normal bumpf of school run, homework, playdates, parties, etc etc.
She's more of a nanny/housekeeper really. And we are in central London.

You are right about her registration. Just googled it and the gov.uk site states that you do not need to register if you are not providing care over 2 hours. Find someone else...

Downgrading a registration sounds odd

Are all the children she has now age over 8 maybe?

Ring Ofsted on Monday. They will want her name, address and registration number if you have it.

get rid immediately . Unprofessional and crossed the line. I would report too as i wouldn't want my Dc to be around some one who is potentially unhinged.

Lost the plot for sure, it's inexcusable behaviour, I'm sure ofsted would be more than willing to listen to your experience. My CM charges £30 per day and is fab, I am somewhat further north though, hence the price

As this is a regular arrangement, why did the other child's mum need to phone you and tell you to collect her son that Monday and why would the CM be phoning you to check?

What she said was very wrong but surely it would be your word against hers if you reported her. She could say you misunderstood.

Bloody hell what sort of sane person would do that
I certainly wouldn't send my child their & id definitely tell Ofsted

Agreeing with most others here - the shopping is ok as long as it's not every time, but pretending she lost your son is not on at all!

Could you arrange a nanny share with the parents of some of his friends (switching between houses or something)?

I'd not use her again. It is not your responsibility to give her instructions about other people's children and she should know this. Phoning you like that was crazy. It wasn't even an equivalent situation as you, his mother, thought he was lost, whereas the other mother knew at all times where her son was.

Find someone else, or even get a nanny - cant be bad thing getting some light housework dine too for price your paying now. I would be horrified if my cm took my kids shopping while in their care. The whole point of cm is looking after children not fitting into the cm life a one poster said. A good childminder will be doing lots of fun activities or just playing with the children. Then again this is why mine go to daycare.

The shopping wouldn't bother me (unless it was a v regular occasion)

But that phone call shit she pulled? I would giver her notice and report her to Ofsted in a heartbeat...I'm genuinely shocked that someone would do that nevermind a childminder ffs

I would never use her again. The shopping thing would piss me off although I know cm is supposed to be a more homely experience but not at £10ph. The phone thing is so bad I'm suprised you even have to ask.

lost the plot at the end if the first paragraph.

as an ex cm who ran a fantastically professional setting how could you have saved the parent cms fees by pikin up this child?

the fees are set by a contract so even if you picked up the cm should still charge the parent as it's in her contract to charge. as I am sure your contract wage sets in stone your earnings even if someone helpfully steps in to take your work off you!!!!

the rest is very silly and childish and I suspect you both need to reassess this professional relationship.

as a cm I couldn't work like this, I wouldn't dream of doing my 'weekly shop' with mindees but equally I couldn't work with parents interfering and messing me around like this.

thebody surely it saves fees because it means they only need the CM 4 days a week instead of 5?

If I wanted to drop a day with my CM, I wouldn't be charged for it. And the CM would have another space available to fill for that day.

Please report her to OFSTED. The 'let's pretend we don't have Komono's DS' trick is beyond the pale. She should not be responsible for children.

yes if course you can change cm days but only per contract.

it should be a professional business and ran as such so no ad hock changes are wrong.

if you want to change a day great but that means cm looses money so you would expect a notice period as per contract.

as sure you would expect the same where you work? loss of a day = loss of pay.

the cm sounds daft and unprofessional but equality is allowing the op and other parents to mess her around.

find it hard to belive in the lost child tale to be honest!

Did you let the other mum know as well that she 'pretend lost' your child?

If I was the other mum I'd be removing my child too.

Sorry thebody yes as per contract. I had presumed the OP and her friend had informed the CM that they would no longer need childcare on, say, Monday and so had changed their contracted hours. Perhaps not though