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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take DCs out of school - dilemma?

62 replies

shebird · 27/09/2013 21:08

A bit of a dilemma here and I would like to hear your views please.

My family live abroad and I am unable to have any time off work to see them in the half term or Christmas holidays. My grandmother is 93 and I feel very anxious that I and my DCs should see her just in case. I also have two nieces born recently that we are desperate to meet. I only want to visit for a couple of days but due to the flight times it is not possible to travel over a weekend without having a Friday or Monday off. I am unsure what constitutes exceptional circumstances but don't want to risk asking and being refused. So do I risk it and phone in sick?

I am so stressed out about this as it is totally not me to lie or to ask my DCs to lie but I feel it desperately important that my DCs should see their grandparents and extended family.

OP posts:

Kikibee · 28/09/2013 23:07

I suppose the whole 8-5 irks me rather, if only my dh could do that :( more like 7-7 or even earlier and later and as for the summer.......

marcopront · 29/09/2013 03:36

Kikibee why doesn't he become a teacher then?

Shebird I asked earlier why you can't take time off work. I don't think you answered. There are consequences if you take time off work and there are consequences if your children take time off school. Which consequences are worse?

SuburbanRhonda · 29/09/2013 09:23

kikibee, if you are so fed up with your DH's working hours that you even envy teachers, maybe it's time for him to change career. It's clearly causing major problems for you that he works the hours he does.

Sparklymommy · 29/09/2013 09:30

Having had a meeting with the EWO for our child's school I think I am right in saying they won't fine you for 1 day unauthorised absence.

Se told me that when a child has 10 unauthorised marks (equivalent to 5 days off) they will look for a prosecution.

However I feel that you could get this authorised with a little embellishment of your grans medical situation.

Good luck

BoundandRebound · 29/09/2013 11:24

They won't fine you

It may go down as unauthorised, no big deal so long as their general attendance is good

Have done similar and got a "we can't authorise this but hope x enjoys the party" so don't worry

Go and enjoy

clam · 29/09/2013 12:26

OP, you need to take advice from your school/LEA on this one, not the wishful thinking of some posters on here who appear to have no knowledge of the current situation.

Original poster

shebird · 30/09/2013 16:56

marcopront I am unable to take have time off work due to the fact that other staff I work with have holiday booked at this time.

I have sent a letter to the school today explaining the situation. I fully expect it to be unauthorised but i think I'm prepared to live with that more than the guilt of not seeing my family.

OP posts:

marcopront · 01/10/2013 12:36

Thanks for answering Shebird. I hope the school gives you the time as authorised.

pinkdelight · 01/10/2013 12:47

But if you can make a case for the school to give time off for family illness reasons, surely you can make the case to your employer? Seems less disruptive to go in half-term when they're off school anyway. It can't be impossible to get time off work. And also, you presumably knew your gran was 93 and that you were becoming an auntie so could have booked the time off before your colleagues snapped up the available holiday? Sorry to sound harsh, and I do hope you get leave, but I just think it's harsh blaming the school when in this case there could be other options.

Original poster

shebird · 07/10/2013 12:32

Just to update my request for leave has been declined and the school are not authorising any leave.

I think I must have a sixth sense as it turns out my grans health has deteriorated this week and we are not sure how serious yet but everything at this age is a worry. I don't know why but when I originally posted she was ok (for a 93 year old) but I just had this feeling we should see her. So I am going anyhow.

pinkdelight I have stated before that I work for a very small company and my colleague booked this time over a year ago for a long haul trip well before I knew I was to become an aunt. As there are only two of us in our dept. yes it is impossible to have time off.

OP posts:

GladbagsGold · 08/10/2013 13:11

shebird I am glad you are going regardless. I think the school are being very unreasonable. Hope your trip goes well.

LimitedEditionLady · 08/10/2013 16:11

My friend took her daughter out of school unauthorised with the threat if a fine.They called a meeting when she got back but she didnt get a fine.I think that seeings as youre only going for a weekend then they may be understanding,its not for nothing its for family reasons.

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