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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to pick up DH's mate tomorrow.

43 replies

HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 15:42

OK will try and make this as simple as I can

DH and his mate are going to football tomorrow, and will be going for beers and curry afterwards.
DH and I live 5 minutes from Football ground and have one car.
DH's mate lives 20 minutes away (40 minute round trip) in another direction, he and his wife have two cars.
Football starts at 3pm and DD (4) has a dance class at 1pm - 2pm 20 minutes from home.

AIBU to not want to go and pick DH's mate up after DD dance class and drop them both at the football, so they can both have a drink.
I think the best solution would be for DH's mate to drive to us, leave his car and I will drop them at the ground. His wife could then drop him over on Sunday to pick his car up.
DH suggested this to him, he wasn't keen as he doesn't really want to leave his car unless DH can get him on Sunday to collect his car from ours Hmm oh and his wife doesn't want to drag 2 kids out in the car to drop him at ours.
So I am expected to drive from DD dance class home (20 mins), pick up DH to then drive to mates house (20 mins), then back to football ground (25 mins) and home (another 5-15 if I get caught in football traffic).

OP posts:
buss · 27/09/2013 15:44

cheeky feckers! His wife should drop him if he doesn't want to leave his car.

PractialJoke · 27/09/2013 15:54

Surely that's easy. DH takes dd and picks his mate up, brings everyone back to yours and they walk to ground.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/09/2013 15:56

The message appears to be that DH's friend's wife is not a mug but you are. Enjoy.

Topseyt · 27/09/2013 15:58

That is taking the piss. I would refuse.

He has his wife, who can drive. Why can she not drop him off? Why can't he consider getting a cab (or public transport, if that is available)?

Just say no. If you give in then who knows what "favours" they will keep asking of you in the future. The time to stand your ground is now.

lisylisylou · 27/09/2013 15:59

Taxi?

Scrounger · 27/09/2013 16:01

That is soooo cheeky of him, to ask and then for your DH to even consider it. Noooooo, he is a grown up he can find his own way there.

Tabby1963 · 27/09/2013 16:05

I agree with topseyt's suggestion. His wife can take him, or he can take a cab. You however are far too busy with family business to be involved. DON'T DO IT!!

BillyBanter · 27/09/2013 16:07

So it's not his own responsibility to get to the football ground
It's not his wife's responsibility to get him to the football ground
It's not his mate's responsibility to get him to the football ground
It's his mates wife's responsibility to drive daughter to class, either hang about for an hour or drive home then drive back to class, then drive to mate's then drive to football with daughter in tow then drive home with daughter and be the childcarer for the rest of the day while they get pissed after the match?

  1. he can make his own way to yours by car bus taxi skateboard
  2. his wife can drop him off
3 Your husband can take your daughter to her dance class then pick up his mate and drive to yours drop off his daughter and then walk to football. And you can have a little break.
LouiseAderyn · 27/09/2013 16:07

Your dh should be grateful he is abke to bugger off to the football and then out fir beers in the first place. Presumably you will be looking after the kids?

He is taking the piss if he expects you to act like a taxi service for his mate too! How his mate gets to football is the mate's problem and not yours.

dopeysheep · 27/09/2013 16:08

They are grown men. They don't have kids to consider in this instance so they can sort themselves out.
Agree with MrsTerryPratchett.

Original poster
HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 16:09

PractialJoke DH is working until 1pm so couldn't take DD.

In all fairness they will get public transport/taxi's after the game.
In the past I have dropped DH off, picked up etc but that was before we had DD as it was no skin off my nose, or if it has been "can you drop me off at x" which is 5-10 minutes away I will do it.

But this will mean being stuck in the car for over an hour when DD and I could be doing fun things together. I work full time and try and make to most of the weekends.

I have said no, which brought up the idea of him coming here and collecting his car on Sunday, but he then wants us to collect him on Sunday to get his car which is even more cheeky. DH works 6 days a week and Sunday if the only day he gets with his family.

OP posts:
BillyBanter · 27/09/2013 16:09

Actually he can drop her at class, go collect mate, go collect daughter from class (with mate in tow, and drop her home then him and mate walk to football. That way your daughter isn't having to sit in a car pointlessly.

BillyBanter · 27/09/2013 16:10

oh, x post.

littlewhitebag · 27/09/2013 16:12

His mates wife can drop him. Her excuse is flimsy at best. It's not your problem.

PractialJoke · 27/09/2013 16:14

Ok, so DH can do the 2nd part of the t,rip from where you say "pick up DH"

Original poster
HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 16:17

Thanks Ladies, it was my idea to go down to one car, so sometimes I feel a bit like I should run around but this is taking the piss.

BillyBanter I love your post, think I will print it out to show DH.

I think DH feels he should do this as his mate is getting the tickets (for free though).

OP posts:
dopeysheep · 27/09/2013 16:17

Gawd help the mate. If I couldn't make my way somewhere 20 mins away without getting someone else to take me, and rhen make a big fuss about being collected the next day I would have to have stern words with myself.
He sounds a bit needy. Has he got a bike? Perhaps tell him to get on that.

alarkaspree · 27/09/2013 16:20

You've said no. That's it, your job is done. The people who are going to the football can work out how they get there, you don't have to worry about the logistics.

Original poster
HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 16:21

Practicle brilliant idea, why did we not think of that. Probably because we go past the ground on the return trip, but he could pop back to ours DD and I jump in, back to the ground, then off to pick apples in my aunt's garden.
I will put that too him.

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 27/09/2013 16:21

"I din't want to do that, but do enjoy your football match"

PractialJoke · 27/09/2013 16:23

Ah, I'd probably do it for someone who got me tickets too, but i still don't understand why DH can't go.

Original poster
HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 16:23

Has he got a bike? he has but it is on the motorway so could be a bit dangerous Grin

OP posts:
PractialJoke · 27/09/2013 16:24

X post!

dopeysheep · 27/09/2013 16:26

I will accept a motorway as a legitimate excuse for non riding of bike Smile

Scrounger · 27/09/2013 16:43

littlewhitebag I don't think his wife's excuse is flimsy, she is firmly putting the ball (see what I did there - I should be Alan Hansen's replacement) back in his court. Why should it be her problem to sort it out? Just like it isn't the OPs problem. He is just being a lazy arse.