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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to pick up DH's mate tomorrow.

43 replies

HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 15:42

OK will try and make this as simple as I can

DH and his mate are going to football tomorrow, and will be going for beers and curry afterwards.
DH and I live 5 minutes from Football ground and have one car.
DH's mate lives 20 minutes away (40 minute round trip) in another direction, he and his wife have two cars.
Football starts at 3pm and DD (4) has a dance class at 1pm - 2pm 20 minutes from home.

AIBU to not want to go and pick DH's mate up after DD dance class and drop them both at the football, so they can both have a drink.
I think the best solution would be for DH's mate to drive to us, leave his car and I will drop them at the ground. His wife could then drop him over on Sunday to pick his car up.
DH suggested this to him, he wasn't keen as he doesn't really want to leave his car unless DH can get him on Sunday to collect his car from ours Hmm oh and his wife doesn't want to drag 2 kids out in the car to drop him at ours.
So I am expected to drive from DD dance class home (20 mins), pick up DH to then drive to mates house (20 mins), then back to football ground (25 mins) and home (another 5-15 if I get caught in football traffic).

OP posts:
Topseyt · 27/09/2013 17:12

A number of years ago I instigated in our house a ground rule that either hubby or I could go places IF we could get there AND back without relying on the other. It relieved both of us, although we are not really big on going out at night (prefer reading a book).

I said this when my three children were still very young, making providing an unpaid taxi service impractical, not to mention near enough impossible. They are much older now, but I still adhere to it for much the same reason.

It was just the type of piss-take you are being expected to endure that forced me down this route and I am glad I put my foot down and did it.

kickassangel · 27/09/2013 17:27

or they could go for curry and A beer so that they are still able to drive?

or is having several beers more important than you & dd spending an hour in the car?

PractialJoke · 27/09/2013 17:51

That seems OTT to me Topseyt. It works both ways and if it's not too often it's not really too big an ask, says she who is expecting DH to come and scrape me into the car next Friday night, but it's the first time in ages!

QuintessentialShadows · 27/09/2013 17:58

How come a grown man cannot get himself to a football game? Bus? Train?

PractialJoke · 27/09/2013 18:06

I think the OP was right to refuse in this situation and glad a solution where her DP does the running around has been found, but really, do none of you ever do anyone a favour? That's what makes the world go round and it's never a bad thing to have a favour in the bank.

Of course a grown man can get himself to the football, but it's not unreasonable to ask if someone (his friends who is benefiting from free tickets) can make life a little easier.

clam · 27/09/2013 18:10

Because, Quint, they reckon they've found a mug who'll do it all for them!

waltermittymissus · 27/09/2013 18:13

How ridiculous! Just say no.

These are, presumably, grown men. They can sort it themselves. And as for having to drive over, pick him up and drive back to your own house on Sunday morning? Is he kidding?!

caramelwaffle · 27/09/2013 18:25

Where do you live that they cannot use public transport?
(no need to actually say here)

Original poster
HaveToWearHeels · 27/09/2013 19:46

It is nice to do favours for each other and we do, he doesn't go out much, maybe once a month and I do run him around and him me.
I will always drop him off where possible, if it's before bedtime and nearby, it saves our money on Taxi's, he can have a drink and get a taxi home.
I just don't feel this is running him around this is running his mate round, which should be up to him to ask his wife.
Anyway, he is now coming here and DH is picking him up Sunday morning to collect his car. Still a bit peeved but his mate is providing the football tickets.

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 27/09/2013 22:52

Yeah i take it from this that your husbands mates wife has told him to fecking do one and he can sort himself out.Tell him he can fecking do one and sort himself out.My oh mate is like this,wants picking up and taking everywhere,has me fuming.Tram stop is literally outside his door!!

BillyBanter · 27/09/2013 23:13

to me you ask for a favour because it really would be getting you out of a squeeze or saving you a lot of hassle versus something they can do relatively easily. Or you know if it's for a desperate need.

Whereas here (probably unwittingly/unthinkingly) the favour-seekers are saving themselves a small amount of bother by asking for the OP to cause herself a larger amount of bother.

Redlocks30 · 27/09/2013 23:25

If his wife can say no, so can you.

BillyBanter · 27/09/2013 23:33

Redlocks wins the prize for succinct summing up of the situation.

Exactly!

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 00:52

Taxi

Collaborate · 28/09/2013 07:28

They want to avoid some bother, but that creates more bother for you AND DD than DH's friend is avoiding.
Why should you care?

brettgirl2 · 28/09/2013 08:58

I don't see what the issue is. The ticket was free and his mate wants a free taxi in return. If it was me dh would be having a sober curry, it is him who is obligated not you.

Redlocks30 · 28/09/2013 18:07

What did you do, OP?

Original poster
HaveToWearHeels · 28/09/2013 20:29

His mate came here and left his car, I gave them a lift to the stadium, took 15 minutes round trip.
DH is getting up early tomorrow to collect his mate and bring him back here to collect his car.
I had a lovely afternoon picking apples with DD, going for pizza and walking in the woods.

OP posts:
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