is it reasonable to be disappointed or am i being grabby.

[brighton9]

So it was my 3 month olld dd christening at the weekend. My sister was godmother and my bil godfather.
Spoke to my sister on the phone prior to the event and she was telling me that apshe was crazy busy and hadn't got round to getting a gift and was also worried about her outfit.
So cue to christening day. It turns out she had managed to find time to replace her outfit but not to get a gift for dd.
So am i being grabby to be disappointed.

a bit, yes.

I suppose traditionally god patents give gifts but that's not the reason for making someone a god parent is it? Much more important that she is going to be there for dd, offer her love and guidance. Anyone can buy a present but unconditional love is the special part.

Parents, not patents obviously. Sorry

If I was being Godmother for my own sister, I don't think I would have even thought about getting a present as I would have already got a present for the baby and would be already a big part of their lives both then, and in the future. Unless it was a Bible.

I would assume that she got the baby a gift when she was born which was only three months ago, so yes you are a bit, sorry. All those silver keepsake christening gifts are naff (IMHO) anyway. We had the same prob when my nephew was christened at 8wks, so we got him really nice book of bible stories but did struggle a bit for ideas as we had got a whole basket of stuff when he was born.

I think YABU OP

Christening presents (if given at all) should be symbolic tokens.

It's meant to be a spiritual occasion, not a commercial transaction.

Yes you're being grabby, it's a christening not an opportunity to get as many gifts as you can.

Yes, grabby, sorry.

Christenings are about everything that is the opposite of giving presents, or at least they should be.

Sorry, grabby .

I think it depends on what you were expecting?

I nicely bound bible or crucifix necklace, I.e something religious related then yes I can understand where you are coming from but if you were expediting something else then yes yabu

Presumably she can bring him a gift at a later date whereas she could hardly by her dress a couple of weeks later. So her prioritising of time was understandable.

Are you regular religious church attenders? In which case you celebrated the main purpose about Christenings, the welcoming of your child into the church.

I really don't see why all these occasions should be about barrow loads of gifts. Rise above it.

I have 3 children, all have been christened, of 3 sets of grandparents, one set bought a present and they weren't family. So yes, I think you're being grabby.

godparents not grandparents.

Yes you are being grabby.

Your sister's presence in your baby's life is more important than yet another Bible or st Christopher to stick in a cupboard.

I have to say I disagree with everyone hear and say YANBU. Being asked to be a godparent is a big thing and given she knew the date in advance she could have prepared better. We are godparents to DNs on both my and my DH side of family and one got a diamond cross pendant and the other got a Disney ltd edition print. At the very least a religious token should have been given to mark the occasion. Our DS godparents gave him a beautiful Carr's bible which they had personally inscribed inside.

There is absolutely no need for gifts at a baptism. As a godmother I gave a children's bible, as a guest a small gift voucher. But when my sons were baptized I expected no gifts and received very little. but we had a lovely celebration together with friends and family. I'd rather they cooked a dish or brought a bottle of wine to share. Not every event requires gifts. What with the baby shower gift, new baby gift, christening gift, Its all too much

Very grabby.

Well, the point of a christening is to bring them to christ, so as long as she's going to take care of your baby's spiritual development, it isn't that terrible a thing that she didn't get him a st christopher or a silver apostle spoon or something, but otoh it is traditional to get a gift and from what I see, people don't like it when something traditional/expected is not adhered to, so I can understand why you feel odd about it. Plus apparently tradition says 'sterling', so she could have chucked a tenner in a card. Not much effort required there.

But let it go. It's just stuff and I am sure she loves you and your baby and will perform godparent duties well. That's why you chose her.

Well I f she'd bought a gift, it would only have been another Bible, or something to put away in a box and dig out when you needed the Baptism cert.

Perhaps she knew/thought you already had or wouldn't appreciate such things.

Any other gift would be odd at a christening.

She should have gotten a really lovely keepsake for her goddaughter. Weird.

Tbh I wasn't hoping for usual christening trinkets and money boxes etc. Yes we did get enough of that last time round from other people at that time.
I think it was more hoping for something religious ie a bible orr even a simple religious story book as she isconcerned is probably one of the few people there that the religious side means anyhthing.
But yes I did think I was maybe gokng to come across as grabby so not really surprised.

Yes the religious side was very important as we do attend church every week. Which I soppose makes feeling like this worse.

Sorry a bit garbled.

I agree with most people above, it's not about the gifts. Your sister intends/intended to get a gift. Your dd won't care now or in the future whether she gets one or whether it's late. Have you been sufficiently grateful for the effort she made on the day and for her taking on the responsibility of being godparent?