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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

is it reasonable to be disappointed or am i being grabby.

39 replies

brighton9 · 25/09/2013 04:52

So it was my 3 month olld dd christening at the weekend. My sister was godmother and my bil godfather.
Spoke to my sister on the phone prior to the event and she was telling me that apshe was crazy busy and hadn't got round to getting a gift and was also worried about her outfit.
So cue to christening day. It turns out she had managed to find time to replace her outfit but not to get a gift for dd.
So am i being grabby to be disappointed.

OP posts:

ZillionChocolate · 25/09/2013 07:36

If you want DD to have a bible, then buy one. Perhaps you can mention to your sister that you're looking for one and if that's what she intended to get then she'll say.

Original poster

brighton9 · 25/09/2013 07:41

Yes I have sent thamk you cards and thanked by phone.
Ovff to find baby now and get little one ready for preschool.

OP posts:

BrokenSunglasses · 25/09/2013 07:44

I don't think you are being grabby.

This isn't about new shoes or a handbag for you,it's about your dd having a token gift from her Godmother to mark something that's an important occasion for her.

There are certain occasions in life where a gift is reasonably expected, and this is one of them.

I suspect that if your sister has been going through a particularly stressful time right now then you would be more understanding, but as it's is, it comes across as if she doesn't value her role as a Godmother and a special person in your dds life, and that's hurtful. I don't think it's about a gift, it's about the thought and the sentiment.

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 25/09/2013 08:41

I think it is really odd, it is your sister as well as a godparent. It does amaze me on MN how people are ok with all these odd things relations do. I would never dream of not getting a gift for a christening, let alone a family one where I was godparent. Sometimes people run out of time but she could have spoken to you and said what she would like to buy or something.

It doesn't sound grabby as you are not expecting some lavish gift but she did mention it to you but decided getting a new outfit was more important.

I would usually buy something religious related for a church christening or a toy if not.

CinnabarRed · 25/09/2013 08:42

I don't think you're grabby either - I think what you're saying is that you're disappointed that your DSis prioritised choosing her new outfit over choosing a religiously significant present to mark your DD's welcome into an institution which clearly means a great deal to you.

If you weren't a believer than I would agree with the majority and say grabby, but under the circumstances I don't think you are.

mrsjay · 25/09/2013 09:39

I don't think you sound grabby at all I think you are a bit hurt that she didn't get your baby a token of her godparenting and the meaning of it, you are a religious family the christening means a lot to you and you expected your sister to get something with meaning for the baby, saying that I am sure your sister will be a lovely godparent and please dont worry about the gift

IceCreamForCrow · 25/09/2013 09:45

I don't think you are being grabby. It wouldn't occur to me not to give a gift if I was invited to a christening, let alone if I was a godparent.

But Expecting a Present is a cardinal sin on mn so I'm not surprised you're being told you are

avolt · 25/09/2013 13:10

I think i would be disappointed but not say anything about it. It's a bit off I'd say. I think a token gift would have been the norm. The christening I went to recently the gp bought a bible and a prayer book.

Maybe they will suddenly remember in a month or two's time. But it's not worth falling out over so I wouldn't mention it myself.

Nanny0gg · 25/09/2013 13:41

Not at all grabby. IMO it is usual to take a gift to any Christening that you attend, let alone if you are a Godparent.

I don't accept 'didn't get around to it' excuses.
Basically she couldn't be bothered. She must have had time to look online if she couldn't get to the shops.

I'd be hurt too.

MrsDibble · 25/09/2013 13:44

I think you can be annoyed in your head because it is the lack of thought that is annoying - that she was more bothered about her outfit than getting something for the child.

however, it would seem grabby to say anything.

She definitely should have got something for her goddaughter, but I don't think you can raise it with her, if that makes sense.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 25/09/2013 14:00

YANBU

It is traditional to give gifts at a Christening, even more so if you are a genuinely religious family.

That fact that your sister said she was disorganised and hadn't got a gift makes it worse - it isn't that she doesn't want to give a gift, she does but couldn't be bothered to sort it out. Which is thoughtless.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 25/09/2013 14:03

YANBU. If I'd been given the honour of being asked to be someone's godparent, I would definitely make time to get the child a little something to remember their special day.

Original poster

brighton9 · 25/09/2013 15:08

O no I would never say anything. Definately not worth falling out over. After all I am glad she made the effort to be there.

OP posts:

Tavv · 25/09/2013 18:14

YABU

Your sister couldn't have spent the time choosing clothes after the event had passed.

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