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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday without your kids is good for you

33 replies

lestagal78 · 24/09/2013 22:54

I mean time to reconnect with you are, to miss your children and appreciate them even more when you get home.

DH and me have the opportunity to do holidays away from each other and the family next year. We're happy for us to do it so why do some of the older generation frown on us for doing it.

They are safely with a parent, they are not babies. In fact when I go away they will hardly notice I'm gone as they will be at school. Its not like I do it all the time, I can't remember the last time I had a proper day and night without children.

So AIBU.

OP posts:
BrokenSunglasses · 24/09/2013 22:55

YANBU.

FreudiansSlipper · 24/09/2013 22:57

yanbu

kerala · 24/09/2013 23:00

Not unreasonable your choice of course. Personally feel only a few short years that our dds are children (will hopefully be many years of dh and I on our own) so seems abit of a shame not to spend holidays as a family. As a child I loved family holidays they were a real bonding experience.

Original poster
lestagal78 · 24/09/2013 23:02

Thanks suspected as much after a few comments of it wouldn't happen in my day.

The best was you could save the money and take the kids to Butlins for the weekend instead. This person knows they have a lovely holiday to Alcudia to look forward to in may. So we're hardly depriving them of a holiday.

OP posts:
LazyMonkeyButler · 24/09/2013 23:02

Of course YANBU. I would do the same in a heartbeat given the chance & I definitely love my DC.

Time apart is good for everyone.

Original poster
lestagal78 · 24/09/2013 23:03

X post Kerala, we are doing a family holiday next year.

OP posts:
SantanaLopez · 24/09/2013 23:06

Generally, yes, but of course there will always be exceptions.

mikkii · 24/09/2013 23:15

YANBU, in fact, I'm off without DH or 3 DC next week.

DH has been skiing for 5 days to a week every year since DS was born 9 years ago.

DH and I escaped for a 2 week cruise for our 40th birthdays.

I have been away for a couple of business trips, but this will be my first holiday away from DC. I hope DH will now realise quite what I do (in addition to a full time job). I think he is starting to panic, he is asking for "lists", who needs to be where at what time for clubs (they won't be going trust me).

If he manages 3 school runs, remembers to collect the right kids at the right times, feeds the kids and DS gets to his show rehearsal(s) then I'll be impressed.

intangible · 25/09/2013 07:00

I look forward to the day we can have an adult holiday .but my children will be grown up.

yanbu to do what you want but I just feel that solo holidays are not part of the package when you have children, we will have family holidays. Its a short time they are small for and I don't think leaving them behind is for me.

HeySoulSister · 25/09/2013 07:04

Yanbu

I took a few days in August to go and do national 3 peaks... As a lp to 5 it was a much needed 'break'

HeySoulSister · 25/09/2013 07:06

There is no 'package' when you have children.... Biggest favour you can do for your dc is to look after yourself.

crescentmoon · 25/09/2013 07:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeckSwabber · 25/09/2013 07:39

I had a week on my own last year and it did me a LOT of good.

I take them on holidays when I can afford it, as does their dad, and they also have fabulous school trips and sometimes I send them off in the summer for an activity week.

They do ok - it doesn't harm them to see their [single] mum having a nice break, too.

jamdonut · 25/09/2013 07:47

My children are all teenagers/adult now, but it has definitely done me and the DH good to have some time away from them. Love them to pieces,but you have to have a break sometimes. Never done full holiday without them though,just weekends.
We've never been abroad as a family,but they have been on some fabulous school trips without us, so I don't see the problem.

MsVestibule · 25/09/2013 08:24

DH and I go most years without the DCs, ranging from an overnight stay to 11 days away. I had plenty of negative comments about the 11 day holiday from friends! We go to the sort of places we couldn't go with young DCs, (e.g. normally 3 or 4 night city breaks) and I love the time spent with just DH.

It's not at the expense of a family holiday, though - we took them on a beach holiday to Spain and a caravan holiday in the UK, so don't think they're too deprived. Also, they love Grandma and Grandad spoiling them while they have sole charge, without Mean Mummy saying no to everything Smile.

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 25/09/2013 08:34

As long as you can afford to do a family holiday as well then I think it is a lovely idea. I can't really see what its got to do with anyone else as well. I have always said to DH that a 'single' holiday must not be instead of something for the children. This year DH went skiing and we have got 2 family holidays so the children are not missing out.

I am desperate for a few girly days away TBH or with DH and no kids. A night or weekend doesn't feel enough, I am exhausted as trying to adjust to new routines so think it would do me good.

I am happy that our DCs are secure/well adjusted enough to leave with my parents or friends for a few days, its an adventure for them and they love it. It makes me a bit irritated when people start using the martyr card about how short a time their children are young for and how how they could never be away from them overnight. At the end of the day I am comfortable leaving my kids and others may not be, doesn't make either of us better or worse parents, just different, all sounds a bit jealous smug! (DISCLAIMER - I am not talking about people on this thread - these are RL friends of mine I am referring to)

PurpleFairy3 · 25/09/2013 08:37

DH and I are planning to go away for a week next year without DS. We are taking him away in the UK on a caravan holiday as well, but he's still young and I don't particularly want to spend a lot of money on a holiday he won't remember (the holiday DH and I are planning is quite expensive). Our holiday in the UK will be by the beach, so he will still get to have fun and we can make memories there. So no, YANBU. I think it's a good thing sometimes for a marriage to have time to yourselves. Smile

absentmindeddooooodles · 25/09/2013 08:44

I dont see the problem ince in a while. Theres extremes though. A woman I know left her 3 week ild to go in a girls holiday for two weeks. I wish I was making that up.
Dp and I plan to have a weekwnd away for our honeymoon next year. Ds will be nearly 4 and staying with his dad. When hes older I would go away for longer im just a bit of a wuss with it though

tumbletumble · 25/09/2013 09:10

I personally wouldn't go away without DH or the DCs for longer than one or two nights, but it's your call.

AmericasTorturedBrow · 25/09/2013 09:10

DH and I need sometime together to keep our marriage and family unit going an keep us together so it's pretty much in the DC's interests that we managed one night away in two years a few weeks ago. Spoilt before we emigrated, DS used to go to my mums fairly frequently so I could work, wasn't a holiday for DH and I but evenings to go out where and when we wanted and morning sex lie ins were a god send.

I'm visiting the UK now and my lovely parents are having the DC for 5 nights next week so I can properly catch up with all my friends in London, this is so important to me as I now get to see these friends once a year when it used to be every week, it keeps me happy and sane and I'm so very grateful to my parents for letting me do it.

DH and I will get a weekend away together next year when we go to a wedding, if we don't make the effort to spend some alone time together we bicker and become distant - that over time I'm sure would inevitably end up in divorce so for the sake of DC being spoilt rotten by their doting grandparents for a few nights so DH and I can get away together, I think it's probably worth it for the long term health of our family!

YANBU

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 25/09/2013 09:10

absent that is quite Shock I was a bit Hmm when my friend left her 2 month old to go on her honeymoon for 3 weeks. I am talking about non newborn babies in my post. There is no specific age limit of course but still . . .

Crowler · 25/09/2013 09:14

Yes. I like having the chance to visit countries I wouldn't necessarily want to take my kids to. It makes me feel really young again because it reminds me of life pre-kids.

MsVestibule · 25/09/2013 09:21

Yes, although I go away with my DH now, I would get judgy about a mum or dad who left their newborn (unless it was completely unavoidable). But I suppose those who disapprove of parents leaving older DCs feel the same way! We all have our own ideas about what's OK regarding all aspects of child rearing, and as long as a child's basic needs are being met...

mrsjay · 25/09/2013 09:31

YANBU i couldn't do this when my dds were younger we had no babysitters willing enough to take them for a holiday like this we are not starting to go away away weekends and leave them at home its great , dont listen to the miserable sods they are probably jealous that they wouldn't do it, folk can be very judgemental and sug anut this sort of thing, enjoy your holiday

mrsjay · 25/09/2013 09:34

oh and none of the people with children I know would go away without their kids either ,

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