To feel sorry for myself because I have a bad sleeper

[cantthinkofagoodone]

I know he isn't that bad but just when we think it's sorted, something else crops up and it's bad again.

Recently he has cut 4 molars so that has had him awake because he's in pain. We had one week of good sleep and the happy child that goes with it and last night we had a middle of the night party. I expect this is developmental because he seems to be chatting constantly.

I just wish that he was a good sleeper. We do everything 'right' but sometimes it is just down to their nature and by nature he is a bad sleeper unless all of the planets are in line.

Moan over.

Disclaimer - we are very lucky to have an amazing little boy. I love him dearly but I am tired.

Same here! Had a good sleeper first, slept through from 3 months. Ds- nope. Every two hourslike a newborn and he's ten months now. I am a zombie.

How old is he? It is hard. Sleep deprivation is awful and I don't think you can ever fully prepare for it.
I used to think we were cursed with a bad sleeper but you might be surprised at how badly other babies sleep too.

Yanbu

That is all.

15 months old. Had a good phase from 8 months to 13 months but pretty sketchy since then.

I'm not properly deprived like the old days but just a bit tired and fed up. Especially after the 3 hour party last night.

I have the opposite Num and have so much sympathy . my 1st did not sleep well - still doesn't at 5years old! 2nd, at 10weeks, is amazing. I am weirdly retrospectively proud of myself for 'just' coping with DS - I remember feeling like a zombie. It is awful. Hang in there and take any support/comfort that you can.

I could have written your post (except I'm too tired...) DS 15 months, and there is always 'something' - teeth, sore tummy, too dark to light not enough naps during the day too much naps during the day. As you say if we happen to hit upon a rare day when none of the above have occurred he sleeps well. Sometimes even 7-7.30! But more often he will mess about at bedtime and wake too early - if we let him get up he's foul because he's tired, but getting him back to sleep often involves cuddling him on his rocking chair for up to 45 mins. Last night he was wide awake at 4am for no obvious reason! I just keep saying to myself - its a phase it's a phase it's a phase. But now we are expecting dc2 and if I think too much about the sleep implications of that I feel a panic attack coming on...
How old is your dc? What works/doesn't work for you in terms of getting dc back to sleep?

Cant of course you feel fed up. Take it easy and eat whatever gives you easy energy.

YANBU - there is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture! It doesn't matter how lovely they are the rest of the time, when your children don't sleep it always makes you dislike them a little bit.

Just keep telling yourself that it won't last forever! Hang in there!

YANBU. Just YANBU.
My usually lovely MIL once suggested that I use the time when DD1 was wide awake at fouroclockinthefuckingmorning to get some housework done. I had to strangle her, it was the kindest thing to do..

Thanks everyone. I always tried to tell myself that the good phase was just a phase so I wouldn't be disappointed when it all went wrong but I still am.

Wishing - we always used to just use some kind of controlled crying or just cio when the wakings weren't pain related but we're now living with the in laws and can't allow them to have their nights sleep ruined too. As a result we're trying to make him as quiet as possible and either bring him into our bed or settle in his cot, if he will without being too noisy.

DS has certainly talked himself out of any siblings anyway. When this is passed I'm going to take the money and run. Can you imagine if the next one was worse?!

Wishing, I hope that the sleep fairies are good to you with the next one!

Dobbies - at one stage DS was so predictable with his MOTN parties that I used to go to bed at 7 and do the washing up at 4am. It was a silly idea and your MIL did need strangling.

Mine are not big sleepers. It is hard as everyone else talks about naps and full nights of sleep. I just had to accept this rather than fight it and keep things simple in everything else

YANBU, I had good sleepers and my sister didn't.
It was just pure luck on my part, and I was so grateful. Living with your inlaws as well, and you are still this side of sane?
You are remarkable.

YANBBU at all. Sleep deprivation is horrific.

The only thing that got me through it was coffee and exercise. Every time I felt tired, I went for a walk. Sitting down and trying to get 10 mins rest just left me feeling worse than ever.

I know it doesn't feel like it now, and feel free to slap me metaphorically with a wet fish, but hang on in there because it does pass.

Yanbu
After screaming from 4am until 6 this morning I am desperately persuading dd for a nap. I have a migraine brewing.
Dd is having none of it.
[Sad]

I'm feeling very sorry for myself too! Ds is 14 months, and despite being a good sleeper up until 4 months, I've rarely got more than 3 hours solid sleep at a time since then.

He still likes to be fed in the night too, and I am so far unable to persuade him otherwise (still bf).

Last night wasn't too bad, he slept until 4:45am - so I managed over 5 hrs of solid sleep!! But then he didn't want to go back to sleep after feeding. He is cutting his eye teeth at the moment, and is running a bit of a temp this morning!!

He's still in our room because of his night-time shenanigans, but planning on moving him during Oct half term as we will be on leave some of that time so wont be zombies at work! Not sure if that will make him sleep better (are we disturbing him?) or worse...

Fortunately, he does go to bed very easily most nights, it's just between 3am - 7am he keeps waking up!!

DD woke every single night up until she was abut 18 months old but someone had said to me before she was born don't make the night wakings fun for her, no taking them out of their room, or little chats etc so when she woke I would go into her, let her lay in my arms for how ever long it took and then put her down again.

I can remember sitting in the dark for 2+ hours at times. Of course DH was fast asleep and would complain in the morning how tired he was from DD waking him up.

Those first 18 months were a complete blur and I actually think back on them now and think, hmm, it wasn't so bad (was it?). She is 2.5 so it's not like it's that long ago! But we must be able to forget it (like childbirth?) otherwise you'd NEVER have another one. EVER!

...having said that we don't have another one and can't decide if we are ready to go through it again!

I would definitely not have survived living at with the ILs though.

Sleep deprivation is without a doubt one of the worst aspects of parenthood. We have a 16 month old, it’s not just the broken nights sleep...
it’s the lack of naps
the refusal to ever sleep in the car (making long car journeys unbearable)
the refusal to sleep anywhere other than the cot at home (so no holidays anywhere, ever except GPs house)
the waking up at the slightest noise (so we tiptoe around our own home and can never have anyone round in the evening)
the consistent early morning waking no matter what time dd is put to bed
the loss of time with dp as we’re so knackered and go to bed so early and the lack of a social life for the same reason.

It’s such a different parenting experience coping with a poor sleeper and it really can influence your decision to have another (we’re not and the lack of sleep is definitely a factor).

If I had the money I’d hire a night nanny from 7pm to 9am every night and rent a flat nearby to get some sleep. Actually, that’s not a bad idea....

My DD is a terrible sleeper. She's only 12 weeks, but just one of those babies who's super interested and awake and finds it impossible to switch off. At night she'll only sleep cuddled against me, and wakes me hourly. But at least she sleeps! Daytime naps are horrendous - she'll only sleep in the sling, if I'm pacing and shaking her favourite rattle. And even then only for 20 mins andafter a long fight. I'm lucky to get her to have 2.5 hrs in the day, so she just gets grumpier and grumpier. I get so insanely jealous hearing about everyone else's babies who just nod off in the pram/car seat etc without a fuss....

Peppin, I know I'm complaining now but this tired doesn't compare to the exhaustion & frustration at 12 weeks. Hope your lo improves soon x

YANBU

and for you

For bad teething pain a Nurofen suppository before bed or when they wake crying kills the pain fast (around 10 minutes). Sadly there is not a sedative suppository available on the market

Zara my bil was telling me about calpol night being ok for babies when his dd1 was a baby. Can you imagine?! I haven't heard of the supp. Will get some for the next teeth

Nurofen-branded suppositories for ibuprofen and Alvedon or Paralink branded for parecetemol. Ibuprofen one kills teething pain DEAD. Fucking love them. DS falls asleep in my arms a few minutes after giving one, if he's woken with bad teething pain in the night. I highly recommend. Was first suggested them when DS was ill in Germany and the hospital doctor was perplexed at why you'd bother giving meds orally to babies.

They are pricey, about ten quid for a pack of ten buy you can buy from online pharmacies for a bit cheaper.

Not that I've done it (but friends who are medical professionals have), but you can use Calpol Night or Phenergen for younger children if you're having serious sleep issues. Not every night, just once every few nights so you can get some sleep. You reduce the dosage. and lie to the pharmacist that it's for a younger child. If you have a sympathetic GP they will give you a script without the child's birthdate on it