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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think, just eat your Breakfast. Sweets maybe?

67 replies

bongobaby · 23/09/2013 09:41

I am at the end of tether with my DS, every morning it's a battle to get him to eat his breakfast. When we go shopping I ask him what cereal he would like. He picks a cereal that he wants and is happy. Has had every cereal going!!! Now he has decided that he doesn't, like milk and wants to eat it dry or he wants toast with no butter with the crusts cut off and then only takes three bites out of it.
Then he doesn't actually like the cereal chosen by his choice, So I end up with countless boxes of a quarter eaten boxes of cereal left. I get stressed as I think and know that it is so important to have a breakfast inside you before a full day at school.
After dropping him off at school this morning, I went to the shop. There were two mums in there with four primary aged kids on the way to school.The children were drinking Blue Energy drinks and a can of Coke And eating a full sized Milky Bar and packets of Chewits sweets. Each parent is different I know that and I'm not judging them. These Mums seemed less stressed than me.
Please give me some options? My Morning nerves are fast running out!!

OP posts:
choceyes · 23/09/2013 10:00

I agree. Give him his favourite food (not chocolate or energy drinks!) or a variation of it, in the morning.
Sounds like he is not that hungry though. My children are biting my hands off in the morning (even though they have a cooked dinner before bed and fruit and cheese after - but they are not big lunch eaters - different kids get hungry at different times I guess) and would eat anything I give them, which is usually eggs, porridge, toast with nut butter.

EugenesAxe · 23/09/2013 10:00

stealthsquiggle - your post made me laugh, as DS is currently into walking around telling me about a made up (apparently... although it could be influenced by something he's watched on CBeebs) shopping list:

"We need: Stinky cheeeese, some stinky socks, and a packet of nappies withaholeinthebottom" (this apparently has to be said very fast).

Sorry - back to breakfasts.

DamnBamboo · 23/09/2013 10:02

Snazzy think that's what the OP is saying. She regularly asks him what he wants, he chooses cereal then doesn't eat it.

Too much choice when they're little isn't always a good thing.

FFS, giving a small child an energy drink and a chocolate bar for breakfast is ridiculous! Of course you can judge them.

Beastofburden · 23/09/2013 10:03

What do you eat for breakfast, bongo?

Definitely support you in not offering sweets for breakfast. They are worse than nothing. He will get a sugar crash and develop shocking food habits. Hold out against it, its better to be hungry than to do that.

TeamSouthfields · 23/09/2013 10:05

Do not give sweets / energy drinks to ur child please...

How about a croissant or a bagel?

Or a cereal bar maybe?

A banana or fruit salad?

You can get a pack of 8 small packets of cereal, just enough for a small bowl..
These will save waste and they are all different..
Normally corn flakes, frosties, rice crispies, coca pops and honey hut loops..

My niece hasnt eaten breakfast in the mornings since she was 4, shes 14 now and still doesnt eat.. U may just need to accept it..

Sneepy · 23/09/2013 10:08

My 5yo doesn't like milk in her cereal and she doesn't do well with lots of choice (overwhelming.) I've limited her choice of cereal to the non sweetened ones which she eats dry, and given her a choice of what protein she can have: peanut butter toast, yogurt, piece of ham, glass of milk etc. she usually chooses milk with nesquik (horrible I know but I had to give somewhere) which she must drink before she gets down.

bymoonlight · 23/09/2013 10:09

I hate eating in the morning, despise it.

When I'm going to be busy until lunchtime I stand in the kitchen and force a healthy breakfast down. Its not a nice experience. I would rather eat a sweet. But I do it because I need to be full and I do not need a sugar crash.

If I can choose when to eat then I don't eat till I get hungry which is normally between 10-11am.

People like me will always hate breakfast first thing in the morning so we just have to learn that getting something healthy down quickly is the best option.

Original poster
bongobaby · 23/09/2013 10:09

He will not eat Eggs he has never eaten an egg in his life or Bacon. In fact his fussy eating at age Ten is driving me up the wall. When I cook a full Roast dinner he will only eat the Potatoes and veg. Its the go slow in the morning and him trying to over ride me in not eating breakfast that stresses me out. I am pretty firm with him but then it ends up in a row which I don't like every morning. So I thought let him chose a cereal that is his choice and he would be likely to eat it then. I feel he is trying my patience.

OP posts:
bymoonlight · 23/09/2013 10:13

I feel he is trying my patience

Well he is. He is seeing how far he can push the boundaries. Pretty far it would seem.

bymoonlight · 23/09/2013 10:15

I mean as a solution to him not eating the sugary breakfast crap he chose, your considering giving him energy drinks and chocolate bars.

I would act up as well if I were him. It seems to bring lots of rewards.

DamnBamboo · 23/09/2013 10:15

He is 10? I don't know why but was under the impression he was 5 or 6 - sounds like that from the behaviour you describe.

He is old enough to understand that you won't continue to accept this behaviour and that you are sick of wasting food.

ClockWatchingLady · 23/09/2013 10:15

Hi OP. Sounds tricky.

I think one possible approach to this (and one which psychologists often advocate) is to just stop putting the pressure on at all (I know this is easier said than done) and relax about it. Put breakfast on table in good time, tell him it's there, leave it there for 20 minutes, calmly remove whatever is left at the end. If he eats it, great, if not, he will be fine. He's not going to starve himself, and much of the research done on kids and breakfast is difficult to interpret and/or done by Kelloggs Hmm.

You can stay calm knowing he's been offered perfectly good food, and he will be fine and probably learn to eventually take what he's offered. If he's generally growing and learning, relax.

Hope it sorts out.

Beastofburden · 23/09/2013 10:23

yep, sounds like a manipulative fussy eater to me, & he has found that brekkie is a good one because of the limited timescale. Ten is old enough for him to be completely aware of what he is up to. He will be at secondary school next year, he's not a baby any more.

Tough titty then, he can go to school hungry if he refuses a simple sensible option such as shreddies or toast.

repeat after me: it takes 21 days to starve to death.

Original poster
bongobaby · 23/09/2013 10:29

Do you know what DamnBamboo... you are spot on and I'm grateful for your post. He is acting like a 5/6 year old and not a 10 year old. I hate wasting food and as a single parent can,t afford to fork out on food that ends up in the bin. No parent can. I feel under pressure that people will bad mouth me because they think I'm, not feeding him because he is so fussy and very slight in build.
In the past I had a letter from social services stating so and that's why I get so stressed that he should bloody eat his breakfast/dinner. Social services took no further action as it was found to be malicious. but the fear is always there in my mind. Bymoonlight I would not want to give him energy drinks or chocolate bars, just running out of ideas.

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 23/09/2013 10:32

If he doesn't like milk have you tried an alternative? Almond or hazelnut milk is lovely.

Vecta · 23/09/2013 10:36

No idea about how to get him to eat breakfast but if you want to use up all the ends of the cereal, mix them all together and make a batch of "random-cereal cakes", you know, like cornflake cakes or rice crispie cakes but with random cereal.

choceyes · 23/09/2013 10:38

Will he eat a flapjack as an alternative to chocolate/sweets? There is a recipe on here for banana flapjacks that has no added sugar. I add all sorts to it like nuts and seeds too, but you can just make it with banana and dates. My DS who has a sweet teeth would eat it anytime.

Original poster
bongobaby · 23/09/2013 10:51

Going to try the pancake route tomorrow morning and try to stop stressing out as he knows that its getting to me. Deep breaths.....

OP posts:
Quenelle · 23/09/2013 10:55

Homemade flapjacks/muffins etc are a nice idea but I would not go to the trouble of baking him something special. If you spend time and money making him something and he still refuses to eat it your stress levels will go even higher.

Just make him something fairly cheap, simple and healthy like crumpets or toast with cream cheese or peanut butter. It won't be the end of the world if it ends up in the bin then.

steppemum · 23/09/2013 11:00

I also thought he was 5/6

I think at 10 he can understand the need for food, and the cost of wasted food.

I too would put it on the table and remove after 20 minutes. Let him be hungry, at 10 he really can then make the connection to breakfast.

Do also take note of what the none breakfast eaters on here have said though

my ds, needs huge breakfast, bad tempered until he has eaten, eats very little for lunch
dd1 could go without breakfast, and then eats lunch

Don't give in to manipulation or sweets.

hermioneweasley · 23/09/2013 11:01

Could you involve him in making breakfast muffins? Is he more likely to eat things he helps to make?

MarianForrester · 23/09/2013 11:09

I agree with ClockWatchingLady. Reasonable breakfast on table, you sit and eat yours, he eats his if he wants to.

Although it would obviously be better if he ate breakfast, he won't come to any harm if he doesn't.

StainlessSteelCat · 23/09/2013 11:18

If he's 10, can he have a snack at break time? If so, let him have his breakfast then. I can understand why you want him to have a proper breakfast, and in an ideal world he would, but in the real world go with what works. If you like the idea of pancakes (and so does he) then make some small, thick ones (like drop scones?) which he can eat then if he wants, and if not he can take with him to school to eat at break time. You have them provided him with food and the opportunities to eat it - you can't force feed him.

In time you may find he wants breakfast later (I did at that age, hated eating first thing) and you can provide food he can eat at break, like flapjacks, muffins, cheese sandwich ... what ever works.

StainlessSteelCat · 23/09/2013 11:22

I also agree with what others have said about not letting him choose. In your situation I would try the pancakes, and if that didn't work, I would give him something I knew he liked with no other option.

FriendlyLadybird · 23/09/2013 11:29

My DS (11) is very similar, but actually likes and eats the chocolately Weetabix things.

Before he asked to try those, though, he would have a boiled egg (same as me).

And he's always ready to eat more at break time, so I make sure he's got a substantial snack.