To think, just eat your Breakfast. Sweets maybe?

[bongobaby]

I am at the end of tether with my DS, every morning it's a battle to get him to eat his breakfast. When we go shopping I ask him what cereal he would like. He picks a cereal that he wants and is happy. Has had every cereal going!!! Now he has decided that he doesn't, like milk and wants to eat it dry or he wants toast with no butter with the crusts cut off and then only takes three bites out of it.
Then he doesn't actually like the cereal chosen by his choice, So I end up with countless boxes of a quarter eaten boxes of cereal left. I get stressed as I think and know that it is so important to have a breakfast inside you before a full day at school.
After dropping him off at school this morning, I went to the shop. There were two mums in there with four primary aged kids on the way to school.The children were drinking Blue Energy drinks and a can of Coke And eating a full sized Milky Bar and packets of Chewits sweets. Each parent is different I know that and I'm not judging them. These Mums seemed less stressed than me.
Please give me some options? My Morning nerves are fast running out!!

[Beastofburden]

good luck! :)

[bongobaby]

beastof kind words and I am going to take heed, thank you. hopefully the convo we have later will go okay...

[JulietBravoJuliet]

My ds (7) is not a breakfast person and neither am I, but we have a rule that he has to eat something on a school day. I'm easy on weekends as he can have a big lunch. I often buy those packs of scotch pancakes, malt loaf, little individually wrapped brioche etc as it's easier to get him to eat something like that than a bowl of cereals or toast. He always has a glass of fresh orange or apple juice first thing, and takes a decent packed lunch, so I don't stress too much. I work in the village shop, and, on the odd times I'm there at school run time, it amazes me how many kids are allowed to have sweets, chocolate and energy drinks before school!

[Beastofburden]

Bongo- relax and be kind to yourself. You are being a GOOD mother by not giving in to everything he tries on. He is pushing for sugar and sweeties- Muller corner yoghurts and raisins are pretty sweet. This is not a new trick and we have all been there. Sweet drinks are the other thing. Filling up on fruit juice isn't that different from filling up on coke.

He is 10. I would have the convo that becs suggests and also I would tell him that you two are a family unit, he needs to behave in a supportive and grown up way towards his mother, and not waste your scarce money and your precious time. Teen years are coming, he is going to want more independence, you are going to want to give it to him- but how can you, if he behaves like a 5 year old baby?

[Wishihadabs]

Hot chocolate and a piece of fruit is all dd (nearly 7) can face in the morning (she eats really well at dinner) Ds will happily pile in 4 weetabix, egg as often as its offered and fruit (he frequently barely touches his evening meal). They are different I respect their differences. But I wouldn't let anyone eat chocolate before lunch !

[bymoonlight]

Dd2 only ever wants Shreddies.

[ModeratelyObvious]

Nothing wrong with the sane thing every morning. The nutrients in say, weetabix and shreddies are going to be very similar.

Life has got much easier for me now the DSes have settled on the same thing every morning. They are 6 and 3.5.

[bongobaby]

Yes he is allowed to bring fruit into school, but this tends to still remain uneaten in his lunchbox. Again a waste of buying it and not cheap. I give him raisins as a snack and he eats some of them. He does like the Muller corner yoghurts but I think maybe that's not enough as a breakfast?

[YouTheCat]

In my experience, the more effort and thought you put into a meal, the more likely it is to be rejected.

Dry toast and a yoghurt, plus a piece of fruit. Take all the thought and choice out of it. He eats the toast and then gets the yoghurt. If he is running late he can have an apple on the way to school.

If he is really pushing it, then he is late for school and has to explain himself to the teacher.

I know lots of people (me included) don't care for breakfast but he's 10 and he doesn't get a say in the matter.

[wonderingsoul]

can i ask the op who said/think weetabix and a glass of orange jucie was a bad breakfast, why?

aiggre with most of the op, stop the stressing, provided the food, but you cant forse him to eat it. i think he knwos he can play you when it comes down to food, espp breakfast as i do think its the most important meal of the day so i can see why you are worried about it and try every thing.

ask him to think long and hard about what he would like. give him two choices. ceral or toast with maybe fruit on the side. if he doesnt eat it, then fine, dont bed or plead just clear it away, when hes realized you arnt going to run around trying to please h im im sure he will start eatying more.

is he allowed to bring fruit in to school for snacks?

[DamnBamboo]

Every weekday morning for 16 years the same cereal

Why? Just why?

[Almostfifty]

I didn't give mine a choice. They had weetabix, toast and milk every school morning till they were 16, with a choice at weekends.

If they didn't eat the weetabix quickly, it went soggy, they hated it like that so it went down really quickly.

[bongobaby]

Thank you becsborn... I need to get over my fear of thinking that am not being a good mum if I don't please him/give in to him. He does tend to try and wrap me around his finger!! Such as " I want to eat dinner not at the table" urghhh!! I,m going to put my foot down after the chat tonight.

[bongobaby]

I think a sit down chat together after school today with menu planning may help. He should probably goes for the pancake option. I have had some very good advice in all posts.

[tumbletumble]

Haven't read the thread so sorry if this has already been said.

Don't get stressed. Don't battle with him. Give him a reasonable choice (cereal, toast, eggs, banana). If he won't eat, let him go to school hungry - it won't kill him for a couple of days. Then my bet is he'll start having breakfast. He may never be a big breakfast eater though - that's fine. Some people aren't.

[ThisWayForCrazy]

I am happy for my kids to have any kind if food for breakfast rather than it having to be traditional breakfast. Sandwiches, soup, pancakes, whatever. As long as they eat. Sadly two out of the four that live here totally refuse anything

[becsbornunderadancingstar]

I like beastofburden and ClockWatchingLadys posts

Firstly I know that you're not going to buy him the chocolate or energy drink but just to reinforce - it is MUCH better for a child not to eat breakfast than for them to drink a caffeinated sugary drink and eat a chocolate bar full of more sugar with a bit of trans fat. They're not feeding their children, they're poisoning them. Judge to your heart's content.

Secondly you are jumping around trying to please him. Being a good mum isn't about pleasing your kids. Stop putting so much effort into giving him what he wants - you're too damn nice! He's 10, so capable of reasoning. Sit down at a non-meal time, and explain to him that if he's going to live a long life and be [insert something meaningful to him eg good at football] then he needs to eat some vegetables, some protein and some carbohydrates and healthy fats three times a day with fruit as a snack. Ask him to brainstorm with you what foods fit those criteria for different meals. Then serve them to him. If he says 'but I don't like...' 'but I don't want to eat xyz' just repeat 'well, because you are a human being, you need to eat some vegetables, some protein and some carbohydrates three times a day with fruit as a snack. That's the fuel your body needs. So let's get back to coming up with ideas for how to do that' Once you've got a list of breakfasts, a list of lunches and dinners just keep serving them up. If he wants something else, don't engage.

If he's phobic about trying different foods I think the 'Calmer Easier Happier Parenting' first plate idea is great - but it sounds to me like he's just running you around like a slave rather than actually being phobic...

[FriendlyLadybird]

My DS (11) is very similar, but actually likes and eats the chocolately Weetabix things.

Before he asked to try those, though, he would have a boiled egg (same as me).

And he's always ready to eat more at break time, so I make sure he's got a substantial snack.

[StainlessSteelCat]

I also agree with what others have said about not letting him choose. In your situation I would try the pancakes, and if that didn't work, I would give him something I knew he liked with no other option.

[StainlessSteelCat]

If he's 10, can he have a snack at break time? If so, let him have his breakfast then. I can understand why you want him to have a proper breakfast, and in an ideal world he would, but in the real world go with what works. If you like the idea of pancakes (and so does he) then make some small, thick ones (like drop scones?) which he can eat then if he wants, and if not he can take with him to school to eat at break time. You have them provided him with food and the opportunities to eat it - you can't force feed him.

In time you may find he wants breakfast later (I did at that age, hated eating first thing) and you can provide food he can eat at break, like flapjacks, muffins, cheese sandwich ... what ever works.

[MarianForrester]

I agree with ClockWatchingLady. Reasonable breakfast on table, you sit and eat yours, he eats his if he wants to.

Although it would obviously be better if he ate breakfast, he won't come to any harm if he doesn't.

[hermioneweasley]

Could you involve him in making breakfast muffins? Is he more likely to eat things he helps to make?

[steppemum]

I also thought he was 5/6

I think at 10 he can understand the need for food, and the cost of wasted food.

I too would put it on the table and remove after 20 minutes. Let him be hungry, at 10 he really can then make the connection to breakfast.

Do also take note of what the none breakfast eaters on here have said though

my ds, needs huge breakfast, bad tempered until he has eaten, eats very little for lunch
dd1 could go without breakfast, and then eats lunch

Don't give in to manipulation or sweets.

[Quenelle]

Homemade flapjacks/muffins etc are a nice idea but I would not go to the trouble of baking him something special. If you spend time and money making him something and he still refuses to eat it your stress levels will go even higher.

Just make him something fairly cheap, simple and healthy like crumpets or toast with cream cheese or peanut butter. It won't be the end of the world if it ends up in the bin then.

[bongobaby]

Going to try the pancake route tomorrow morning and try to stop stressing out as he knows that its getting to me. Deep breaths.....