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AIBU?

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Original poster

to report ex-lover for tax evasion?

54 replies

FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 21:52

I accept my motives are being driven by vindictiveness right now but so tempted to do this.

Background: former lover of mine. Things ended by him nearly a year ago. I haven't had contact with him since and remain angry with him and hurt by him. It was an open relationship. He is married. I wqs friendly with his wife but cut contact at the same time he ended things.

He was always somewhat dictatorial. Things had to be his way. About 18 months ago the family bought two pedigree springer spaniel puppies. God knows why - they'd always treated animals as expendable (rabbits lost or released into the wilds of West London; puppy escaped from garden and killed; snake lost etc). At the time they were talking about getting the dogs, I phoned the breeder and expressed my reservations. The breeder went ahead and sold the dogs to them.

Fast forward 18 months. DD is in touch with their DD. They have moved house. Lost one dog who was found 2 months later by a member of the public at death's door with lungworm etc. Other dog they gave away to someone else. I'm so bloody angry about these poor dogs.

I know that whilst they were living in London (they're not British citizens) they had a hefty, undeclared income.

WIBU to contact HMRC and let them know about the tax evasion? Hearing about those poor dogs is the last straw. But I accept that if I hadn't been screwed over by ex lover I wouldn't be contemplating this course of action.

Opinions please.

OP posts:
GetStuffezd · 20/09/2013 21:55

Hearing about those poor dogs is the last straw.
No, it's the flimsy excuse you're putting forward for fucking him up. Because he didn't want you any more.
Do whatever you think best.
I think I remember your postings on Relationships. Did wonder how it had all panned out.

LessMissAbs · 20/09/2013 21:57

tbh I think you're far too involved in this family's lives and should just leave it and move on.

Be careful that things aren't always as they seem. I'm pretty sure someone reported me for "tax evasion", as I got a £2000 tax rebate out of the blue (I always tend to overpay).

Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 21:58

Hand on heart it's hearing about the dogs that has made me so angry. I've had nothing to do with them since January and would have left things as they were if dogs were looked after. Of course there's a backstory. But I'm posting this because DD just received an email from their DD.

OP posts:
GetStuffezd · 20/09/2013 22:01

But what would reporting them achieve in terms of the dogs' welfare?

Belchica · 20/09/2013 22:03

I think YABU.

have you collected a dossier of indefensible evidence to show HMRC? Or is it a case of he once told you he wasn't declaring or bragged about an offshore account? Either way, you telling HMRC isn't going to change the fact that he ended the relationship. You simply have to move on and stop mulling over their 'issues' re: dogs etc... I think counselling would help you. I felt quite vindictive for a while about an ex and counselling put all that to bed quite swiftly.

All that said, if you are going to report them to anyone...start with the RSPCA!

utreas · 20/09/2013 22:05

If you are sure that he is evading tax then absolutely do it, however do you know he is evading tax or has he just arranged his affairs in such a way that it minimises his tax bill? The dogs are irrelevant

ihearsounds · 20/09/2013 22:08

Do you have access to the persons full financial records?
No?
Then forget about it.
Don't assume you know about the financial dealings of people, because unless you are their accountant you know sfa.

Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 22:08

I would report them to the RSPCA if they were still in the country - they're now living in Europe.

I know that it's full scale tax evasion for various reasons that I won't go into. Just take that as a given.

OP posts:
Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 22:11

Should add I'm a lawyer. I know the difference between avoidance and evasion.

Guess the question is the extent to which it's legitimate to report not out of a sense of moral rights and wrongs or public duty, but for feeling pleased if he gets screwed over.

OP posts:
Belchica · 20/09/2013 22:17

I really do understand the temptation but I think the 'feeling pleased' after doing it will be short-lived and youll be no further along in your journey of life after the tax-evader. Also, it sounds like you are qualified to know what the consequences would be....prison? A large fine? What impact would all this have on their DD? Do you want all that on your conscience, in the name of revenge or public service?

SanityClause · 20/09/2013 22:22

I think you should shop him. Not because of the dogs, or because he dumped you, or whatever.

But because people should bloody well pay their tax.

ThePinkOcelot · 20/09/2013 22:28

If he's now living in Europe would that still apply though?

Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 22:31

Good point about outcome. Guessing he'd be fined. Would be nice if he would realise that he can't call the shots all the time and was taken down a peg or two. But doubt he'd be contrite in any way.

OP posts:
gobbynorthernbird · 20/09/2013 22:33

Grow up

TheHouseCleaner · 20/09/2013 22:37

You say it's about the dogs but there's nothing British authorities can do now if they're in another country. Confused

I understand that you're hurt, I understand that you're distressed about the way they've treated their pets but it honestly seems to me that there's little or nothing to be achieved by trying to report them except for keeping the wound open and picking at it. You're only hurting yourself.

Let it go, for your own sake. If they return and they're carrying on acting in a legally unacceptable way to their pets, then report, of course, for the sake of the pet. Anything else is just prolonging your own hurt and stopping you from moving on.

Monty27 · 20/09/2013 22:40

You sound malicious with few morales until it suits you.

Have a look at yourself.

Talkinpeace · 20/09/2013 22:41

put the details into the Tax evasion hotline online reporting form
online.hmrc.gov.uk/shortforms/form/TEH_Report?dept-name=TEH&sub-dept-name=&location=39&origin=www.hmrc.gov.uk
and then walk away and get on with your own life
if they find nothing there is nothing
if they find something you will never know

but live your own life

Talkinpeace · 20/09/2013 22:42

<a class="break-all" href="https://online.hmrc.gov.uk/shortforms/form/TEH_Report?dept-name=TEH&sub-dept-name=&location=39&origin=www.hmrc.gov.uk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online.hmrc.gov.uk/shortforms/form/TEH_Report?dept-name=TEH&sub-dept-name=&location=39&origin=www.hmrc.gov.uk

working link ... I've used it btw

Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 22:47

Will sleep on it.

But am sure that an awful lot of fraud reporting et al is due to people taking revenge after being screwed over one way or another. A man runs off with a younger woman and the wife decides to talk about things previously hidden. A bit like Chris Huhne's ex wife and the spending points.

Maybe I'll take the less vindictive route and simply phone the breeder and ask him if now he wishes he'd listened to me Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 22:49

Speeding points, obviously.

OP posts:
EdieSedgwick · 20/09/2013 22:50

Don't act. I felt that way once. I'm glad I didn't do anything. Get the anger out another healthier way. Think of consequences. Take it easy OP.

Talkinpeace · 20/09/2013 22:53

OP
If you have enough evidence to fill out that form, as a lawyer under your own professional rules you are obliged to fill it in.
I am MLR registered so I'd have to do a SOCA sheet in your situation.

If you do not have such evidence, report the thread and get some sleep.

Monty27 · 20/09/2013 23:00

I don't think you give a flying fuck about the dogs either. Just your revenge.

kali110 · 20/09/2013 23:04

Not going to say either way. Do what you think is right op. those poor dogs :-( doubt the breeders going to care, doesn't really sound like they gave a shit in the first place!

Original poster
FreckledLeopard · 20/09/2013 23:13

They were never my clients so thankfully there are no professional obligations in that regard.

Monty - do I know you? Confused You clearly don't know me or you'd be well aware of my love of animals and animal welfare. Which has sparked this tonight. Frankly I wish their DD would stop emailing my DD and then I wouldn't know about their latest news. I've blocked them on Facebook, Linked In and try to avoid having anything to do with them owing to the head-fuck nature of it all. Was going well til tonight too.

And for the record, for those of you who may recall all this, the reason he broke off all contact was because I refused to tell my DD about the relationship. He believed I had a duty to 'educate' her about polyamoury. I preferred not to.

OP posts: