AIBU or a mean wife about DH's friend and friend's GF staying over and not leaving with DH in the morning on my one-off me-day day off?

[SybilRamkin]

DH's friend asked last week if he and his GF could stay over at ours this evening. They're from another EU country, over visiting friends in another city, but as we live in London where their flights are going from it's more convenient and free if they stay with us the night before they go home.

A few weeks ago I booked a day off work for tomorrow, not to go anywhere but to have a lie-in, laze in the bath reading a book, paint my toenails, eat cake and generally not do anything of any importance. I've been working really really long hours over a particularly busy period at work, and I just wanted one day to have the house to myself and be totally lazy. I very rarely get to do this, as although DH and I don't yet have DC we're very busy at the weekend and evenings - the next month is booked solid.

DH told his friend that he could of course come to stay (without consulting me), and has told him that they can leave whenever they want on Friday as I'll be around so they don't have to leave at the crack of dawn like they would have had to if we'd both been working. I was really peeved about this, and told him that he's effectively ruined my day off - I wanted to lie in and then laze about in my nightie, which I certainly won't be able to do with strangers in the house wanting showers and breakfast. He thinks IABU, and I can just book another day off (I could, but it would be in a few weeks' time and I'm tired NOW), and that they won't be much trouble and will potter about without input from me.

However, that's not the point! I don't want anyone in the house on my 'me' day, not even DH, and I certainly don't want to deal with DH's friend (whom I dislike anyway) and his GF (whom I don't know). I want to be alone and selfish and lazy for one day - is that too much to ask? I've already cooked them a meal, washed and ironed their bed linen, made up the beds in the spare room, and will then have to wash the linen again after they leave - i.e. enough!

So, who is BU? DH or me? And, more importantly, how can I get them out of my house in the morning?!

It would totally ruin the point of my day off if I had to get up any earlier than 10 am. I would swap the day rather than do that. However, OP has already said that she can't have another day off for a month, so that's not an option here. It's also a bit late to be changing the arrangement with the friends. I wouldn't be able to afford to book into a hotel, either.

What time is their flight and when will they be leaving? It all hinges on that. In the meantime, the plan to go have nice breakfast in a cafe sounds like a good one - it is at least a luxurious alternative.

I would book a day off in a month and make darn sure nothing came between me and my lie-in then!

LOL @ fluffyraggies yes that would go down like a treat with my DH too, I don't think.

Would it bother you this much if DH's pal were pleasanter than he is?

Your rare day off shouldn't be torpedoed like that OP . Maybe DH's pals will cach a dawn flight, maybe they'll doss around 'til late afternoon. It's one thing for the invitation to pop into your head, or for DH to run it by you first. Of course it's his home too - just not staffed by you. I'm sure he reassured them it's no trouble, well truthfully it wasn't disruptive for him.

Just noticed you mentioned a night away on Sunday. No question of some kind of mild payback for that...?

Next time let DH set things out and cook if it's not mutually agreed beforehand.

Just tell them that your plans have changed and that they will have to leave with DH in the morning.

Stay in bed while they are clattering around and voila!

Look up flights leaving to their destination tomorrow and see if you can get an idea of when they might be going.

Oh and stress to them how long it takes to get to Stansted or wherever.

Flight is in the evening!

Have you thought of telling them the truth?
Or do you think you will get a response like 'Oh, we won't get in your way.'
Can you tell them to go and do some London sightseeing and not be back before a certain time or you won't answer the door but that they can leave their luggage and pick it up when they leave for the airport? surely they won't want to hang around all day in your home anyway.

He could take the morning off and spend it with them - he could suggest going out for breakfast then on to a bit of sightseeing, out for lunch and then drop them off for their flight then home to cook you dinner

When in the evening ?

YANBU, but you can't ignore guests, no matter what DH has done/said (it would make me livid too) so just suck it up, take them out for breakfast somewhere with DH paying and then let them have a wonder round town as you are off to have hair cut / teeth done (in reality nipping home for your 'me' day.

Since DH said they could stay, without consulting you, he can tell them he got confused re your day off and they will actually have to leave when you go to work.
I would then stay in bed in the morning, DH leaves with them and says poor Sybil had to go in really early today, she crept out without waking you.

Forgot, that would really piss me off too, I had a day like that planned for last week and it didn't work out (not DH's fault in my case though) but totally stressed in work and was so looking forward to it.

Ugh this is a typical relationship wrongdoing scenario-I've had similar things myself.

I can see a few things about this.

1-OMG how annoying!I look forward to 'me' days so much, I love relaxing, if I get over-tired over a period if time that's it, I am not nice to be around. You've been looking forward to a day with yourself, It's as important as anything to do with anything else.
2) It's an inconvenience-any other day and they'd have to be out, you would be up anyway to go out to work- and that would be that-not much of an inconvenience to you and they'd still get a pad for the night.
3)DH's friends are part of your life by default-he's your DH. If his friends need somewhere to stay and he's available, It's a nice thing to do for them, you and him may need a return favour at some point, they may be people that if you didn't feel this way t this point, you might want to spend time with- that involves you-that's life and half the time It's a pleasant thing,if it's at a convenient time. Also he's being a nice person for having them in his home-I'm sure his niceties are part of why you're together.
4) However, DH IS being inconsiderate. He should be helpful in this situation and he should have known you well enough and known the situation to think that, even if he didn't feel he could refuse them 'Ah balls It's Sybils' day off that day!Sorry, I've done something bad, but I'll do damage limitation, I'll prepare the room, prepare breakfast before I leave, I'll explain your situation of being real tired and stressed and advise them they can get up and potter and stuff but you may need a lie in, and I'll make it up to you I promise' or something. Not just assume it'll be alright and expect you to accept it.

Ugh that was long!Sorry-I can't sleep lol

It may not be as bad as you think. Perhaps you'll wake up early and feel refreshed, see them off, go back to bed for a snooze...

He should find out what time they'll be leaving, though so you can plan your day.

So, what happened?

Are they up & out with husband-which would surely be the best compromise?

Just bumping this up - can we have an update?

bump - or is it another one where we never find out what happened?