To speak to the school?

[Orchwoid]

I've just been to collect my son from his school and he's told me that he won't be cast in his school Christmas play but all the other children will.

I am fumming. I am going to go and speak to his teacher first thing tomorrow morning but I am so angry that I can't work out whether I'm being reasonable or not.

ilovesooty, for crying out loud! I am talking about a situation, as is the OP, where our ordinary (local, no other choice available) state school IS fervently religious!!!!! Great and fantastic if there exist some, or even most, that aren't, but that is not the situation we are discussing here!

And I don't much care what other people think is hypocritical of me - it's my own conscience I need to live with, not yours.

YoutheCat, so you reckon it is morally wrong for me as an atheist to want to sing in the Mozart Requiem?!

...but not to want my child to give fervent prayers to JEsus every morning?

I'm sure with an older child you can have a more flexible approach. At my very ordinary school in 1970s which was minimally religious there was a Jewish girl who sat on the balcony during assembly so if anything offended her she could immediately leave. She never did leave so I think her parents were idiots for having her constantly seated in such a different place. I doubt she was the one requesting it.

"but not to want my child to give fervent prayers to JEsus every morning?"

I'm as atheist as you like: unlike Dawkins, I'm not recovering from childhood fervour. However, I both attended myself and had children at CofE schools, and I'd be very, very surprised if "fervent" was a reasonable description. Leaving aside that the CofE is generally the opposite of fervent anyway, most schools are very careful to avoid getting into doctrinal disputes because very few will have more than a small proportion of parents who are anything more than cultural Christians.

Arg! Friday, I've been saying for what feels like the last 50 posts that fervent prayers to jesus is exactly what I am talking about in our local school. I'm delighted to hear that this isn't standard, but sadly it is our local reality!

No. But I think the OP should make a choice. Either her ds is taking part in religious activities or he's not.

Well, for the purposes of this thread, I'm arguing that I think she can be as hypocritical as she likes, if that's how you want to see it. She didn't choose the religious character of the school, so it's her prerogative to pick and choose which bits of it she is and isn't comfortable with.

I have difficulty believing that the worship
iin the only primary school in the area is so fervently religious. How are other faiths accommodated in the area?
And it seems that the majority agree that picking and choosing so that your child can be cute in a Nativity play isn't really a
desirable way of behaving.

that fervent prayers to jesus is exactly what I am talking about in our local school

Based on what index of fervour? Or is it that, as an atheist, you're nervous about them all? As ilovesooty says, if it's the only school in the area, how does it accommodate people from other faiths?

Of course hypocritical behaviour like this sends a very confused message to her child.

'We'll opt out of assembly because oof the God shit but we want to see you looking cute in the Nativity so we're changing our minds for that. '

Oh how did I miss this yesterday? It's a belter of a thread. I wonder if op is still fumming today.

She is mummypig. I very much look forward to the update after she's seen the head.

I wonder what the situation was last Christmas.

I think it will all end happily. Schools do everything in their power to make every child feel included.

Perhaps OP could give the school a list of events she would like her child included in.

(Pssst, OP...If you know Louise's screen name, send her a personal message!)

Oh no, really sorry! Wrong thread!

SoupDragon - there are two kinds of CofE-affiliated state schools - some have religious entry requirements (they are voluntary aided ones), some don't (voluntary controlled).

The voluntary controlled ones are treated exactly the same as standard/community primary schools in the school place allocation process, so entry is basically on distance. Even if you are atheist and don't want a church school, and so put a non-church-affiliated school top of your preference list, in many cases you will end up at a church school anyway because it is your closest one.

Where I live, of the closest five state primaries, only one is not church-linked, and three are CofE voluntary controlled, so most people in this area (which according to the census has a very high proportion of atheists) end up sending their children to church schools because there is no choice.

friday16, well I asked the headmistress at the open day a few years ago about how non-christians were accommodated, and she said 'oh, we have some muslims you know, and they don't tend to go to assembly'. So hurray for that.

And by fervent, I mean prayer trees and religious pictures covering every inch of the school hall, children coming out of school singing born-again-christian-type modern hymns with many mentions of jesus being my saviour, 2-day whole-class workshops about the meaning of Lent, and school newsletters filled with discussion of religious issues every couple of paragraphs.

I'm all for 'cultural christianity' as the C of E does often specialise in. I love hymns and as I said, I spend much of my life singing choral music with rather explicit religious content, since there are few other kinds. I'm hardly Richard Dawkins, and in the kind of 'standard' C of E school you are talking about, I would not withdraw my child from religious worship.

But this is NOT the situation everywhere. Our local school is something different, and I reserve the right to feel uncomfortable with that level of religious indoctrination. You may question whether I'm exaggerating or making it up - I wish I was.

This thread is SOO satisfying on so many levels - made my day

Crosses fingers for indignant update from the OP - if not forthcoming we may have to make one up

Best post gets the

When I was at school I had a friend who was JW - she came to assembly, didn't sing the hymns, left before prayers. Is that not possible to request?

OP is on another thread doing a call out for Louise.

Dear OP. YANBU to speak to the school. I'm surprised that they haven't clarified at some point exactly what you are or are not happy about your son taken part in. I wouldn't swear at them though!

The rest of the thread is hilarious. Especially the idea that Louise sent the OP to AIBU for support on this matter.

impecuniousmarmoset "prayer trees and religious pictures covering every inch of the school hall..."

We were moving areas completely, so visited different areas to suss them out.
One village was a good location for DH's work, but the only primary school was CofE.

Looked through the windows (it was the weekend!) and all the classroom posters and artwork were things like "Hands together for Jesus", "The Lord God made them all" and the like.

Crossed that village off our list.

I don't think you're exaggerating!

i'm here!

How's yer arse cloud Louise?