LTB...EA

[Dam58]

AIBU to think that a significant portion of posters have the same answer for every issue?

My stock answer to everything is: 'Don't scratch it. If it keeps on itching, see a doctor'.

Works for most things.

Are you talking Emotional Abuse?

Then LTB is the ONLY solution.

Emotional Affair?

The ONLY tactic that works is to tell him to go, so that he experiences loss and cops himself on. Even if you don't want to break up, getting them to see what Every Other Weekend looks like, ideally poky studio flat too is what shatters their little love bubble.

Cheats don't learn by us clinging on begging them to stay with us.

Simplistic, but effective.

A bit of both really...don't get me wrong, i've had some very good advice here and truly value others opinions...but..

There is a portion of women here who label all slights or crappy behaviour as emotional abuse. Sometimes people fuck up and the answer isn't always to LTB.. And he isn't always a bastard.

A couple of episodes of Oprah and some people think they're enlightened.

wow - a couple of threads on mumsnet and people think they know the opinions of the whole of mumsnet

YouTheCat I needed that advice recently due to a nasty adverse reaction to cheap deodorant!

I knew it would come in handy one of these days.

Gordyslovesheep

"Portion".

meaning a section of the whole

Gordyslovesheep

Yes..a section ..not "whole of Mumsnet".

FYI... Regardless of how much some people post, it doesn't make you qualified or your opinion more important! :)

wow with added PA lovely

Real emotional abuse is very different from crappy behaviour.

However, crappy behaviour can be a precursor.

Anyway, we ALL deserve more in life than to be with someone who thinks they're entitled to treat us like crap OR abuse us.

Why Not demand good treatment?

What hissy said really.

Regardless of how much people post?

Erm, stick around shorty, you may learn sommat!

Those that take time to listen to the issues others are facing, seek to address the problems they are experiencing WILL very probably gain an additional insight that actually IS useful to others that are encountering similar.

Mumsnet is great. It's what you put into it, it's supportive, caring and informed.

If a whole load of people advise someone to LTB, it's probably fairly justified.

If someone pops up with a reactionary comment, they are usually flamed to a crisp corrected.

Christ, not another one

Tried not to scratch the itch but damn it feels good.

I agree with Hissy. If a whole thread are saying LTB then the chances are, from what the OP has said, they are right. Then there is general offering of advice and people trying to be helpful.

If it's a lone voice saying LTB then it's usually some nugget who hasn't read the thread properly.

Regarding EA's I agree with Hissy. Leaving or strong threat of leaving is the ONLY thing men who've embarked on an EA take notice of in between them being caught up with 'she's just a really understanding friend/ & or IM NOT SLEEPING WITH HER so its not an affair what are you going on about (yawn) I've been there, & its not pleasant. Only by LTB did he see the folly of his actions.

I do see a few LTB immediately's on here but they're not the majority. People who post on here re issues with OH have quite probably reached a point of distress before posting. I don't particularly like the LTB cure-all comments but better those than the ones implying the poster is stupid for putting up with so n so. Even if they are, having it said to them bluntly isn't helpful

If a whole thread says LTB...and some poor smuck sticks their neck out with an alternitive view point ..they are roasted. A significant portion of people WILL follow the majority regardless of their real opinion.

I LOVE mumsnet..this isn't a bashing thread.

That would depend on what they are saying and how relevant it is to how the thread has gone and any updates the OP may have posted.

Sometimes an alternative view point will lead to some discussion.

I can't imagine how many people on MN saying LTB would actually make me do it unless I actually was ready to/wanted to. I think a lot of people are asking for reassurance that they are doing the right thing.

IMO cheating, EA (either one) means LTB, so if I was asked an opinion that is what I would say. If their husband left the toilet seat up or was crap round the house that would not be my first answer!

There does seem to be a tendency of some people on here where men who are anything other than a complete wet doormat are EA though....

In answer to the original AIBU (rather than the itchy / deodorant matter ), perhaps the reason LTB is the most frequent response is because by the time it gets onto the AIBU board on MN, the OPs situation is so diabolical, they are at the end of their tether and it really is obvious they ought to seriously consider L'ing-T-B.

Many of the circumstances people have to endure, well, quite frankly I, and likely most people, would just 'throw in the towel' and say "get stuffed" to such low-life ages ago.

For example, I have never heard of the word cocklodger before I joined MN a couple of months ago, but it is used prolifically .... Surely there's a correlation between that kind of description and the need to shout LTB

It usually happens when the OP describes 50 crap things their otter half has done and whine and whine about it, or has done something which nobody with 1/4 of a brain would stand for. If a relationship is 100% negative and 0% positive, LTB.

daisychain 01 what's a cocklodger?!

A cocklodger is a man who shares living quarters with a,female personage and makes lots of demands while offering little in return.

mistress, maggiemaggie, I have read on AIBU board untold variations in usage of cocklodger! It makes me LOL, I think it's the unique blend of MN humour but also being so spot-on.

It seems to apply most often to DPs and DHs who ought to be contributing to the family budget but end up sitting at home in their 'big pants' watching daytime tv and playing at being house-husband.

Often it is paired with the person deciding to leave paid employment, going back to Uni for 3 years and living the life of riley, burning through£000 in grants, or others who give away money from shared accounts to family members with zero consultation with their partners.

Sadly OPs come onto AIBU defending their Man like mad "..but they are so considerate/so funny/really good at putting the dustbins out" [delete as appropriate] whilst regailing everyone with their tales of woe, invariably having everyone wailing in unison "LTB!"