To be annoyed at pedantic hair splitting!!!

[Joanne279]

Dear lord my dh is driving me categorically INSANE!!!

Am I being touchy or are his comments hair splitting for the sake of it! Examples are:....

1. I did not draw out £30 yesterday love. I drew out £20 followed by £10.

1. I didn't lie. I missed out alot of facts, but I didn't lie.

1. Me - where were you between 11-12?

Dp - at work Me - so why didn't they pay you? Dp - have no idea coz I was at work. ( several hours later of repeating the above turns out he WAS at work but was in the canteen having an unpaid break!) also see point 2, he DIDN'T lie because he was at work, just didn't give all the facts about the break!

1. I didn't go to a mates house. I went to Chris's house. Chris is a mate, yes he is a mate, but I wasn't at one of my OTHER mates house, I was at Chris house!

Dear god, it's like this so much. I feel unless I ask him the PRECISE set of circumstance, he can find a technical loop hole to deny anything!

Seriously, is it me or him? X

He sounds like a pillock. Maybe you need to ask open questions, ie "why weren't you paid for 11-12?".

He sounds like a complete and utter wanker.
Does he talk to everyone like this or just you?

Mainly me but others as well. It can escalate into day-long arguments because he is ADAMANT he didn't do something. Literally adamant.

Literally ...... FFS LOVE I DID NOT TAKE OUT 30 quid! Your saying I did when I didn't! I took out 20 then 10 later on!

Urgh. X

I think it might be a response to you quizzing him so much?

Um?

£20 + £10 = £30?

I'd be bashing my head on a table dealing with him. Christ!

why is he so suspicious?

I'd have the LTB, I can't be fucking about with pedants on that level, I'd go crazy

This would do my head in! I'd say "how much in total did you withdraw" "who's house are you going to?" "how many hours will you be getting paid for working last week?" or just stop asking questions! Just do not ask a single sodding question so he can't answer his stupid answers. Or ask if he is channeling Sheldon Cooper.

Is he slightly autistic?

So what exactly is it he's trying to hide?

"I did not draw out £30 yesterday love. I drew out £20 followed by £10."

This has actually enraged me. I'd have said "which totals...."
I don't know why he says "i did not draw 30" and making you feel stupid when he clearly did. Even if it wasnt in one go you still drew 30 out yesterday. Arghhhhh

Fuck it. My first ever LTB.

Why are you quizzing him about where he's been and how much money he took out?

Is he untrustworthy?

It's driving me mad. It feels like he's hiding stuff but he's so literal. Ie, no not 30, 20 and 10.

Urgh again x

why are you even having these conversations?
I suppose I can see the cash one maybe but the work one - do they actually specify exactly which hours they pay him for?

He sounds like an irritating arsehole, but presumably you knew this when you married him, so it seems a bit unreasonable to complain. Unless he's got a lot worse recently. Do you think he's got something to hide?

Has he always been like this? Has the level of his pedantry increased over time?!

I just couldn't do it

has he always been this way?

What's ltb? I'm not quizzing him just asking normal question.

We've had huge issues with him lying lately but part of it is that he genuinly doesn't see his lying...he's just with holding facts x

How did you know for example that he didn't get paid between 11 and 12 the day before? I can't imagine any payslip information that would allow this level of detail to be worked out (and within 24 hours)

why does he want to deny everything?

As others have said - change the way you ask him things so that he has to give you the correct info rather than being able to deny something you have said because it isn't exactly right. You still only have to ask the one question. You don't have to quiz him. You don't have to get the 'precise set of circumstances', you have to ask the question in such a way that he has to either give you the correct details or actually lie to you.

How much in total did you withdraw from any cashmachine during the whole of yesterday?

But I think tbh, the most important question is why he does what he does. Sounds like he's arguing for the sake of arguing to me, tbh.

tbh if it's becoming such an issdue and he is lying, leave him.

WHY is he withholding facts? That's the key question.

It isn't normal behaviour to want to, try to or need to withhold facts and reveal only that which someone can prove.

It means leave the bastard!
So..either change the questions you ask
Do not ask any questions at all. None!

But also, why are you asking if he withdrew £30? Is it shared money or his money? How do you know he withdrew money in the first place?

I see what your saying about asking the 'right' question. Ill defo try that. It's just so irritating.

What ltb? X

He sounds like a prat, but, your post does suggest you are asking him to justify where he is/what he's doing etc a lot of the time?