To be annoyed at pedantic hair splitting!!!

[Joanne279]

Dear lord my dh is driving me categorically INSANE!!!

Am I being touchy or are his comments hair splitting for the sake of it! Examples are:....

1. I did not draw out £30 yesterday love. I drew out £20 followed by £10.

1. I didn't lie. I missed out alot of facts, but I didn't lie.

1. Me - where were you between 11-12?

Dp - at work Me - so why didn't they pay you? Dp - have no idea coz I was at work. ( several hours later of repeating the above turns out he WAS at work but was in the canteen having an unpaid break!) also see point 2, he DIDN'T lie because he was at work, just didn't give all the facts about the break!

1. I didn't go to a mates house. I went to Chris's house. Chris is a mate, yes he is a mate, but I wasn't at one of my OTHER mates house, I was at Chris house!

Dear god, it's like this so much. I feel unless I ask him the PRECISE set of circumstance, he can find a technical loop hole to deny anything!

Seriously, is it me or him? X

Op, it means Leave The Bastard - LTB!

I have a feeling your life would be easier just to not ask questions. Do you need to know the hours he's working exactly to the hour and did you need to know how much money he withdrew? If you don't then just dont ask.
Seems like he likes answering like that and if you don't ask him anything he can't have the satisfaction of answering like a twat.

Is he trying to wind you up purposely as he knows itll annoy you?I hate smart arses.what a smart arse.its,like hes trying to undermine your intelligence.

LTB = Leave the bastard and quite frankly, what I think you should do.

Why do you tolerate being lied to?

Why are you asking the questions to begin with?

I can't imagine asking my husband why he drew out X amount of our account. It's his money too.

And I agree about the time tracking at work. What the hell?

I see where you're coming from. I've had to ask questions lately because he's been paid £265 less than expected over 2 months and I don't think I can let that go unanswered. We've got kids and bills to pay and it's not on he's volunteering for unpaid breaks and unpaid leave to get out of work without telling me, especially £265 worth!

I can see maybe I'm being a bit like the Spanish Inquisition, but think he's making a conversation far more difficult than it needs to be x

That's quite the shortfall, so I would say you've every right to discuss the money. Hmmm he sounds worse and worse

Maybe he gets irritated with all your questions, I think I would. It sounds from your OP like you question his every move. Has he done something in the past that would make you think he could be up to something? If not then just leave him be, he is a grown man not a child.

I couldn't be arsed with being pedantic on the level he is being - he thinks he is being clever but is an arse.

Well the next question to ask is "why is your pay £265 less than what it usually is if you haven't taken any holidays/unpaid leave?" or something to that sort. He will know. He is just not telling you.

I think breaks for half an hour at least have to be paid though, don't they?

The net result is that he knows something you don't and that you can't make decisions on complete information. There is also the issue that you are upset and kept at a distance.

Good luck.

He is using a common evasive Tactic, hoping that by the time you get the information, you are "spent" and don't have the energy to pursue it any further.

This is deliberate, my ex used to do this, I can only see it now that I have a clearer mind, there was a lot of game playing and emotional abuse.

Having to spend time questioning him, also gives him ammunition, as you start to sound unhinged, every manipulative partner does this, so they look blameless.

It can be the start of gas lighting.

You should be sitting down and working this out.

If he won't then I would take your next thread onto "relationships".

Even just reading your post has got me all pissed off!!! I'd just tell him to fuck off each time. Maybe he will get tired of doing it if you don't spend time working out how to get him to give you an answer??

Has he always been like this or has he changed his behaviour recently? Could he have mild autism or do you feel he's trying to annoy you on purpose?

My ds has aspergers and that is EXACTLY how all conversations with him are. He would be adamant over the 20 and 10 too.
It's very frustrating but you learn to word questions differently eg
Me-how did you do in your maths exam today?
Ds-I don't know you don't get results for ages...

Me-how do you think you did in your maths exam today? Did you struggle with any of the questions?
Ds-oh I think I did well there was only 1 question I wasn't sure of.

Pedant alert!

1. I did not draw out £30 yesterday love. I drew out £20 followed by £10.

He is wrong in the first sentence (as you all obviously know) - if he withdrew £10 and £20 on the same day (i.e. yesterday), then he did withdraw £30 within that 24 hour period.

2. I didn't lie. I missed out alot of facts, but I didn't lie.

Possible. It sounds malicious or manipulative, but potentially factually correct.

Is he a bit thick?

"he genuinly doesn't see his lying...he's just with holding facts x"

If he genuinely believes that, then he is very stupid. I suspect he doesn't genuinely believe that, however - it's more likely that he's just a giant pain in the arse who is deliberately being evasive so you don't find out what he's been spending his money on.

He sounds very manipulative, whatever your reason for asking the questions.

I agree with WMittens. He did draw out £30 yesterday. He's lying.

My DB has an arrogant annoying habit of contradicting me and his wife. Does not do it to other men. Then he repeats the same meaning but using different words. I have told him not be so pedantic with semantics - that shut him up

You, OP, shouldn't have to change the way you ask questions just because he's being a dick about giving straightforward answers.

He's making every conversation needlessly complicated and frustrating. He would drive me nuts. XP used to do this sometimes but not constantly. I felt like he was treating me like I was stupid.

Oh dear, this is my ex.

We used to argue about the meaning of the pauses between his words and what they might have meant.

He lives somewhere else now.