DH wants to try online dating

[Fieldday]

I am sitting here in the lounge room with my DH and his younger brother. BIL is single and showing us what Tinder is and how it works (its an online dating app for those that don't know).

DH has just said he's missed the whole online dating experience and would like to make himself an online profile just to experience it. He said he'd only do it in front of me and delete the app straight away afterwards. I told him I think it's a bad idea because:

a) it's a slippery slope and he might become addicted
b) it's embarrassing for both me and him b/c it's linked through Facebook and someone he/we knows may see it.

By way of background, DH and I have been happily married for 8 years. We have two gorgeous DC. DH's general philosophy on life is the cliche 'if you're not living life on the edge you're not living it.'

So, AIBU or is he?

Thanks for your opinions.

Yes, I don't think it's a good sign he has suggested it...

I'd be setting up my own profile, showing contacts to him and waiting for his reaction.

Or start looking at solicitors websites.
Living it on the edge.

It could be that he wants more attention, this is how affairs start etc.

Or, I read this imagining someone of a type I've met a few of; bright, short attention span, no common sense, limited emotional intelligence and slightly clunky social skills. Optimistic, energetic but a bit simplistic - clever in some ways but not insightful or wise.

In which case, this could be innocent curiosity, not at all thought through.

These people 'live on the edge' by getting into scrapes most of us would see coming a mile off. The ones I know though, got over that in their 20s and have learnt a lot from their 'throwing themselves out there' experience (which others don't need because we use insight and reflection instead). They've channelled their energy into doing useful, interesting, productive things.

Glad he's dropped it. (let's hope he has dropped it rather than just shut up about it!)

Cos 1) it's really unfair to you, nothing makes you feel more wanted than for your husband to say he really rather fancies doing some window shopping
2) it's really unfair to use these women for a bit of an ego boost. They might actually be on a dating site to, you know, find what your husband actually HAS - a partner!
3) he may well really enjoy the thrill of it all and I think we can guess where that would lead.

What a plank.

Married men get more sex than single men.

If he wants to live on the edge to get some new and strange, he can live on the edge being single and divorced.

I would sit down and have a Calm Chat where he is told in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate disrespect and being taken for granted in any way at all.

Draw your boundary and stick to it. Warning you OP, I stuck my head in the sand.

Thanks all. I appreciate your opinions. I hadn't even thought about the women who were honestly using the site to find a partner - totally disrespectful to gain an "experience" at their expense.

I consider myself warned and will keep an eye out.

I don't want to seem defensive but did want to say in his defence that last night I came on here jokingly to get a poll to show him what an awful idea it was. I think he realised he was being an idiot. He is in general a terrific partner and we've had a very happy 10ish years together.

Less than worried about him straying I'm more upset he'd think something like Tinder is an experience he'd want. It's a pretty awful app that lists the opposite sex almost as a shopping list.

I am really keen to find out what this man considers "living a life on the edge"

I can help your DH life on the edge:

Via tangling him over the edge of the Eiffel tower, dont get more edgy than that.

Honestly OP, the fact that he even considered this seriously enough to ask you is a huge indicator that he is not as happily married as you think he is- be warned.

I'm with Quint. Do tell us, OP, what qualifies as "living life on the edge" for your husband?