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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a new sofa?

43 replies

MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:30

We bought our house six years ago and furnished it with second hand goods, donations of furniture and stuff from.our rooms at the family homes.

Our sofa is comfy, and was free, and has seen us well, however it was old when we got it. The body of the sofa is stained (watermarks from spills, bloody suede!!), and the back cushions are torn (all four), on one side so we constantly are making sure they are arranged not to be seen.

It was like thos when we got it.

I have seen a sofa on DFS that would totally suit.our home. We redecorated our Living Room a good six+ months ago and the sofa looks out.of place. The sofa I have seen would cost us 11.48 pcm on their four year interest free service.

We could afford to pay £50 pcm so could pay it off within the year.

I asled DH to take a look at the sofa and received a straight "no" He is a make do and mebd type of man. Do I push him?

OP posts:
ILetHimKeep20Quid · 14/09/2013 22:32

Why not set aside the £50 a month broke getting into a credit agreement?

ryangoslinglovesmedamnit · 14/09/2013 22:35

we love our dfs sofas.

ahem..id accidently do somthing awful to the sofa that requires it to be replaced.

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:36

Its the Orbit four seater if looking at it will help.

OP posts:
bundaberg · 14/09/2013 22:44

well... did he say no because he just really doesn't like it? or bbecause he thinks you don't need one? or because it's too expensive?

would he be happier if you saved up the money and bought it outright when you have enough?

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:45

He hasnt even looked at the sofa. He thinks that because our sofa acts as a sofa should (i.e. it hasnt fallen apart), then we have no need for a new one.

He doesnt get that something scruffy could be replaced with something nice for a small cost. The £11 odd per month is well within our finances.

OP posts:
EnlightenedOwl · 14/09/2013 22:47

compromise with him and get another second hand one but in better nick? Perhaps he's not happy with the credit idea.

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:50

Maybe. Ill do some digging and get a definite reason. I want a new (er) sofa as our lovely newly decorated lounge is let down by a scruffy sofa.

I dont mind second hand (got a gorgeous dining table and four chairs from.gumtree). I just havent seen one that would suit.

OP posts:
EnlightenedOwl · 14/09/2013 22:50

Oh - I've just seen your sofa. I've got it! When I bought it was called Patent - back in the summer - now called Orbit.
I'm happy with it - got sofa two chairs at £48 pm
Well made sturdy and formal backed so v. comfy.
If you can persuade him I'd recommend it.
I went for the steel grey colour.

bundaberg · 14/09/2013 22:50

well i think he is being a little bit unreasonable. my dp can be like this a bit, i swear if he lived on his own he'd just have an empty room apart from one comfy chair and his computer. he just doesn't see the point.

as such I have taken it upon myself to inform him that we are buying new furniture etc. I am not frivolous btw, and only buy when I feel we need to which means I always can justify to him why I want to do it.

i would broach the subject again. if you can afford it and you really want a new one I don't think he should just say no without any discussion

bundaberg · 14/09/2013 22:52

how did you get him to agree to redecorate? that's arguably less necessary than something nice to sit on??

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:54

The room had biscuit paint on which looked like plaster and he hated it.

Shame I have to do this when I hate something.

Annoyed as I am the fecking breadwinner too.

Glad to hear a personal recommendation from an owner!! I really love it.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 14/09/2013 22:56

The sofa looks v nice. We bought our sofas from dfs six or so years ago. Have had two dc since. Sofas are holding up v well. Should get another six years out of them at least. I'm a make do person mostly but there comes a point where things need to be refreshed. After decorating is a good idea if you can. Talk to him again. I'm unclear in why he gets to make the final decision.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 14/09/2013 22:57

yanbu to want a new sofa but our dfs sofas fell to bits within 4 years - whereas our ikea sofa has lasted a good 15 years and is still going strong now.

MrsRogerSterling · 14/09/2013 22:57

Just had a peek, it's a lovely sofa. Hope you get it!

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:58

He doesnt get to make the final decision, I would like us to make a joint decision. If one wants and the other doesnt.... Well, I cant force him to spend money on something he doesnt want.

OP posts:
EnlightenedOwl · 14/09/2013 22:58

I love it, I wanted a formal backed one, just fitted the bill.
I keep throws on it to keep it looking good - bit precious about it! I had the stain protect thing done on it as well for extra protection.
Oh you can get the feet in two different colours - went for dark on mine to go with the grey. Comes with a gorgeous red scatter cushion too!

bundaberg · 14/09/2013 22:59

right so you redecorated because he hated the walls? and yet when you really want a new sofa cos you hate it (and understandably so) he just says no without even looking?

totally unfair. i'd be tempted to just go and buy it!

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 22:59

Enlightened you are killing me.

OP posts:
EnlightenedOwl · 14/09/2013 23:02

i think i'm saying bugger getting a second hand one get thee to DFS!

Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 23:02

I know. IT is frustrating. Tbh any time I want something for the house I feel like I have to campaign for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MortifiedAdams · 14/09/2013 23:04

I think he thinks im impulsive. I might think for weeks, "I hate the sofa and need a new one" but dont talk about it with him so when I see something I like and show him he thinks its an impulelse.

Should tell him more I think!

OP posts:
Alohomora · 14/09/2013 23:04

Ooooh, if you can afford it, do something truly horrible to the original one! (though it sounds as if it's already quite horrible) I was drooling over the Orbit just yesterday, it is fab :D

Yonididnaedaethat · 14/09/2013 23:07

YANBU

I feel you're pain.....my DH finally gave in and bought a new sofa, years later he still goes on how much he misses the old one! the old one got chewed by the dogs but that doesn't bother him Hmm

bundaberg · 14/09/2013 23:09

you need to talk to him and tell him that though! you shouldn't have to campaign for things in your own house that you can afford!

you say "If one wants and the other doesnt.... Well, I cant force him to spend money on something he doesnt want."
but this is going to lead to resentment if you're generally happy to go along with things he would like to do/buy but he always just says no to whatever you want

HalooJones · 14/09/2013 23:10

This is why I don't believe in having joint money. If you had your own money you could just buy it without having to ask him.

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