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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Name calling

36 replies

Hemlet · 14/09/2013 19:27

Hi all, I would like to ask you something.
Would you consider it calling someone a bitch, if they said you were acting like s bitch?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/09/2013 19:28

I don't understand the question.

gamerchick · 14/09/2013 19:29

No.

Sparklingbrook · 14/09/2013 19:30

Where's the AIBU bit?

catgirl1976 · 14/09/2013 19:32

No. If I said "You are acting like a wanker" I wouldn't be calling you a wanker, I would be saying your actions were like those of a wanker.

Why?

Original poster
Hemlet · 14/09/2013 19:32

Ok.
Someone said that my mum was acting like a bitch.
I told her not to call my mum a bitch.
She said she didn't call her a bitch, she said that mum was acting like a bitch.

Am I being unreasonable in saying that I think she said mum was a bitch?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 19:33

No. I was accused of calling a very unpleasant pupil a bullying bitch for victimising a girl with SN in a PE lesson.

I said she was behaving like a bullying bitch.

IMO the first isn't justified: the second is.

PoppyWearer · 14/09/2013 19:33

I came onto this thread expecting it to be about children.

As it turns out...Grin

ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 19:34

She did not call your mum a bitch.

Sparklingbrook · 14/09/2013 19:34

Oh I see. Well if I say to DS 'That was a stupid thing to do' I am not calling him stupid, just his actions.

Sounds grim though Hemlet, what did your Mum do?

Original poster
Hemlet · 14/09/2013 19:35

Ah a unanimous decision. Then I'll feel justified in telling her she's acting like a self absorbed spoilt cunt Smile

OP posts:
EvilTwins · 14/09/2013 19:35

YABU. There's a huge difference. "Behaving like..." Is not the same at all.

catgirl1976 · 14/09/2013 19:35

:)

Seems fair

TippiShagpile · 14/09/2013 19:38

Ooh, that's interesting. I can tell my MIL she's behaving like an utterly bitter old bitch but that won't be an insult.

Who knew? Grin

Sparklingbrook · 14/09/2013 19:38

Hemlet what is going on? Doesn't sound like a relaxing Saturday evening.

phantomnamechanger · 14/09/2013 19:39

Ilovesooty - even though I understand the difference, I am still shocked by what you sad to your pupil TBH - why not just leave it as "like a nasty bully"

phantomnamechanger · 14/09/2013 19:41

I agree with everyone else BTW OP, the 2 things are not the same - just as we are told to say "DS that was a naughty thing to do" as opposed to "DS you are naughty"

Original poster
Hemlet · 14/09/2013 19:42

Someone (mutual friend of mum and friend) wrote on Facebook that she'd just qualified in nail gelling or something.

Mum wrote that it was amazing what you could qualify in this days.

My friend said that mum should keep her sarky opinions to herself and then wrote to me to tell mum to take her message down. Then another saying 'why is your mum being such a bitch to me, what have I ever done to her??'

I then asked what she had done apart from that comment which was not meant in a sarky way at all. So we've fallen out because this is kind of the latest thing she's done. She ruined my birthday one year because I said she was being flirty. And she never wants to see me unless it's of benefit to her. I could go on but it'd take forever.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 14/09/2013 19:44

Hmm

Communication breakdown here

I can see why your friend thought your mum was being sarky

But she wasn't and on the other stuff your friend sounds like a nightmare. Ditch her and move on

Sparklingbrook · 14/09/2013 19:45

Well IMO your Mum wasn't acting like a bitch. That's an ok thing to say. She didn't say qualifying in nail gelling was a shit thing to do or anything.

Sounds like it's time for a FB clearout Hemlet

ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 19:45

phantom maybe so. However she'd got all the popular "in crowd" of girls joining in, and that poor girl with SN was so upset. She was trying her best and it wasn't her fault she kept dropping the ball. I just saw red.

Interestingly in that school the SMT had it in for me, but the Assistant Head backed me to the hilt on this one. Remembering that girl's desperation to fit in and her tears that day I'd do it all over again.

ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 19:47

Oh...Facebook. No wonder people have started taking offence where presumably none was intended.

intitgrand · 14/09/2013 19:50

I said she was behaving like a bullying bitch that is a totally unacceptable language for a teacher to use to a pupil.

ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 19:55

Fine. Have it your way. I'm not sorry and I'd say it again.

Alisvolatpropiis · 14/09/2013 19:58

I can see why your friend took your mums comment the wrong way. But she sounds like a pain in the arse, your mum should just remove her from Facebook.

I'm assuming ilovesooty said that comment in the staff room/to friends/to her dp not to the pupil or other pupils?
I think that's fine. Teachers are human and are entitled to have opinions/vent about their shitty day. If anyone thinks they shouldn't or don't they are deluded.

ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 20:01

I said it when reporting the incident to the AH, Alis The AH repeated to her what I'd said.

At the time I removed her from the incident, sent her inside to change and told her I was reporting her for bullying behaviour.

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