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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think oh "STFU" and give no further consideration to this "parenting concern" from ds's Dad?

120 replies

Sparklysilversequins · 13/09/2013 11:46

Apparently he is "concerned" that ds eats coco pops for breakfast twice a week as its nothing more than "sugary air". Ds usually has eggs or bacon or toast on the other days but these coco pops are a REAL issue apparently. We have had two heated phone calls about it in the last 24 hours Hmm.

He's my ex by the way.

OP posts:
FamiliesShareGerms · 13/09/2013 11:48

Well, they are "sugary air", albeit fortified with vitamins.

Are you really arguing about the breakfast, or about something else?

WorraLiberty · 13/09/2013 11:48

How old is your DS?

It sounds as though he might not believe it's only twice a week?

pianodoodle · 13/09/2013 11:48

How old is DS?

I'd be saying "wind yer neck in" whether dad was an ex or not probably :)

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 13/09/2013 11:49

Ds is 10. And it IS only twice a week if that as he's not a big cereal eater.

OP posts:
SofaKing · 13/09/2013 11:50

I,would sweetly agree, then swap them for pop tarts. They are more than air and sugar, they are sugar, fat and scorch risk in one convenient package!

moondog · 13/09/2013 11:50

Dads can't win can they?

extracrunchy · 13/09/2013 11:52

Haha moondog I was going to say exactly the same thing...

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 13/09/2013 11:52

What's it got to do with being a Dad? Should I have said ds's other parent so there could be no accusation of gender bias?

OP posts:
Mumof3xx · 13/09/2013 11:54

Really? That's pathetic

I've seen kids who get given a chocolate bar for breakfast now that I would complain about

We always have about 3 cereals to choose from ds1 tends to go for weetabix but ds prefers something chocky

moondog · 13/09/2013 11:54

You mentioned the father.
People come on here and whinge that dads don't give a shit.
Then they whinge when they do.
It's all so exhausting.

treas · 13/09/2013 11:54

Well he's right Shock - they have no nutritional value.

What if you had an issue with something your ex was doing with you dc - would you put up and shut up or raise it as a concern?

YouTheCat · 13/09/2013 11:54

This one is being a cockend. It's nothing to do with being a dad and everything to do with exerting control.

JakeBullet · 13/09/2013 11:56

Depends....I hate chocolaty and sugary cereal with a passion....DS naturally LOVES it so it is a real "once in a while" thing....MIL keeps a box when he stays there.

If it isn't an every day thing then I don't see an issue with it personally.....not that this is what you are asking anyway.

Is this a power struggle over something else.....just him being difficult? Or is he usually pretty good and expressing genuine concern.

I am on good terms with DS's Dad and we can talk and agree/disagree things easily But I know some men are very awkward with their ex partners/wives and when all else fails will criticise the parenting.

burberryqueen · 13/09/2013 11:57

well he is right that they are crap but on the other hand it seems a bit cheeky or controlling for him to dictate what you serve for breakfast.
sorry that is not much help Grin
start serving gruel.

YouTheCat · 13/09/2013 11:57

So long as your ds isn't having to forage in bins for food, what you feed him when he is with you is between you and your ds.

When he is at his dad's then that is his concern and none of yours.

JakeBullet · 13/09/2013 11:58

I think the issue is whether he is expressing genuine concern and caring or if he is attempting to wind up the OP by being an arse. Sadly there are plenty of men out there like that.

HeySoulSister · 13/09/2013 11:58

What does he feed him when he has him?

Mumsyblouse · 13/09/2013 12:01

I guess if you don't comment on his parenting, he shouldn't on yours. However, my husband does comment on things like crap cereal even though I do continue to serve the less sugary ones, he hates cereal and does offer alternatives himself when it is his turn to do breakfast/I'm away.

BrianTheMole · 13/09/2013 12:02

Well its not a great breakfast really. Do you normally get on with ex about parenting decisions?

NatashaBee · 13/09/2013 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hawkmoth · 13/09/2013 12:08

Wagon Wheels are better.

ImpulsePineapple · 13/09/2013 12:08

Can you just not tell him it's none of his business what happens in your house, and that you will not interfere in what happens at his house, then refuse to engage.

Why are you talking to him on the phone twice in 24hrs? Seems excessive.

Justshabbynochic · 13/09/2013 12:09

OP, I think I understand. If he's implying you're a shit parent because you give him Coco pops twice a week, tell him to call SS.

Let's hope their laughter down the phone doesn't hurt his ears too much.

If he's genuinely concerned about the Coco pops, then maybe a compromise can be reached?

PartyOrganisor · 13/09/2013 12:10

Well as a parent I would really grumble if my dc were given that sort of stuff. That would really annoy me as I see that sort of stuff as just sugar, additives and more sugar.

So I do understand where the father is coming from.

The question is: Is his dad really into healthy eating? If this is just a one off comment/stand off, then yes YANBU as he is clearly looking to create problems.
If he is really keen to healthy eating, would never give his dc cereals like this, would cook food for him etc. Then YABU.

Balaboosta · 13/09/2013 12:10

I should be so lucky that my ex (even before he was my ex) gave even one atom of attention to what his children eat. Embrace his interest in DS and direct to other (more important) areas of DS's life. Or just stop with the coco pops because he wants you to and thank him for his concern.