I have DD1 who is 4 and DD2 who is 12 weeks.
I am very lucky that I have a family who are fantastic and not too far away. I get no help at all from DP but that's a whole other thread.
Once a week or so my mum or gran offer to take dd1 for the day to give me a break. She usually ends up staying overnight. Dd1 is an angel. She Is no bother at all but like any 4 year old she needs entertained and is very energetic. Dd2 is quite challenging at the moment. She's not sleeping that well and I'm quite tired. My family taking dd1 means I get the chance to nap/do housework/watch telly /go to the supermarket without having to worry about entertaining dd1 and having dd2 crying etc. I am more than capable of taking 2 children out by myself and do it on a regular basis. Sometimes it's nice to get a shopping done in 'peace' though.
My friends think it's awful that I 'palm dd1 off to whoever will have her' and that I am 'clearly not coping with 2 children so I should go to social services and ask for help' I also 'don't have a bond with DD1 because she goes to her grandparents house once a week. She loves going to her grandparents house and they love having her.
Now I know I'm coping fine. I honestly am I am getting on great and love being a mum. These friends are childless and hate children. They don't understand why anybody wants a family and it just seems they are willing me to fail all the time. If I feel a bit down they are first to text telling me I've got PND and I need to go to the docs. I don't have PND. I know this because I had it after the birth of dd1 and it is awful. I feel so much better this time.
I'm rambling a bit now so this is the point -
AIBU to let DD1 stay with her grandparents or great grandparents once a week (sometimes less)? She never misses nursery they always take her if she stays during the week. They are offering me help I'm not asking for it. Am I taking the piss a bit?
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AIBU?
to take whatever help I can get?
43 replies
awakemysoull · 12/09/2013 11:37
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