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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

be furious with 'light-fingered' parents at dcs school?

126 replies

northernlurker · 11/09/2013 21:08

Went to pick dd3 up from after school club today and her coat has gone. It's VERY distinctive and she loves it Sad. She had it lunchtime, says she hung it up and by 5.30 it was gone. Checked the whole area, lost property and outside. I know what's happened - same thing that happend with a sunhat last year - some feckless idiot will have turned up at school pick up when it was raining without a coat, seen that hadn't been taken from the peg and has pinched it. Bet it will mysteriously reappear in a day or two. At least I hope so. I'd better not be there when they return it though - I had to take her home distraught, thankfully it had stopped raining by then. Of course worst case is they've just nicked it. Poor dd3 was so sad. She really loves that coat. Her name is in it btw.

OP posts:
fiverabbits · 11/09/2013 22:04

My DD went to school aged 9 in a hand knitted jumper with fruit on that I designed myself, went missing in P E lesson. Never seen again, yes it had a name label in it, my DD is still upset about it and she is now 34.

giveitago · 11/09/2013 22:04

Sure it wasn't a kid who picked it up and didn't notice. I'm, quite basic on these things and recently ds was at a holiday club. I sent him in his mac and dh picked him up in a mac. Two days later I was taking ds out and he put on the mac and omg it was huge - it wasn't his. Who's was it and where was his mac (which was very different).

DH takes no notice of clothes as he's rarely around due to work. DS probably couldn't see his mac, taken by another child, and took another like it.

I don't want this bloody mac as it's not his and I want his mac back. But I honestly think some kid took his mac in error and then ds took another mac in error and so forth.

I've asked the after school clu (who run the holiiday club) and they very uninterested. So. I neither am I now, quite honestly.

DS has only just now gone into uniform and I've put names on everything but I don't hold out much hope. It will only work if ds takes more of an interest.

Jellybeanz1 · 11/09/2013 22:14

Raahh - sounds like a good tip but how will you spot the missing trousers on the inside hem of another kid? Confused

Original poster
northernlurker · 11/09/2013 22:16

Parents wait right outside the classroom and the kids come out and get their coats. SO for it to be a mistake the parent would have to be right there when the child picked up and put on a pink mac with horses on. Seems hard to believe to me.

OP posts:
TerribleTeenTweenTwinsTantrumm · 11/09/2013 22:18

You know I never believed this happened (thieving) until my DSs started at a very 'naice' school in an affluent area and we had all sorts go missing including a brand new winter coat (very distinctive) which went walkabout on the first day worn. I was so pissed off as I had just shelled out for 2 of them and had spent hours trawling the shops to find ones they liked! I have taken school jumpers off other DCs pegs that I knew were my DSs as I had written their names very small in permanent marker on the labels inside (not at the back of the neck, inside at the side of the waist) but I could see the rectangular mark where the sewn on labels had been unpicked and taken off and where the iron on ones had been ripped off. A whole bag of PE kit (with trainers) also went. It was school logoed PE bag and kit so I never made the mistake of buying that again.

The teachers did really not want to know and I would be furious at the DSs for 'losing' stuff until I realised what was going on.

DD spent her 1st 4 years of primary at a different school and never lost a thing (well she did but they turned up) until she started at this particular school and 'lost' numerous cardigans. At her secondary, I can't remember anything going missing.

I can only assume the parents did not want to spend money on their own kids clothes as after all they had their playground rep to keep with their fake tans, nails, extensions, Birkenstocks, Uggs and Superdry couture Hmm.

It is bloody unbelievable how low some people stoop.

DSs started secondary last week and DS2 'lost' his brand new and expensive (he has massive feet) trainers by the 2nd day (together with his lunch card/all his pens) and I was just 'oh FFFFS, it starts again' but I was pleasantly surprised they were waiting at lost property the next morning Grin. Hoping that carries on.

mikkii · 11/09/2013 22:19

It could be an accident. DH never knows what belongs to DD2, on one day when he was collecting, DH denies knowing what shoes/coat DD2 had, and the staff relied on DS knowing what she had on that morning.

DD1 once came home covered in cornflour from After school club. I shoved her coat straight into the wash. When hanging it to dry, I realised it was a lovely new one, not DDs 3rd hand one. I returned it the next day, to the mum of the child with the peg next to hers, who hadn't even noticed!

At the same time, I eventually cleared up the mess of shoes and assorted junk under the coat pegs at home and discovered one of DDs class mates jumper. I returned it the next morning. Apparently it had been missing for about a month Blush

DSs coat was missing in reception for about 6 months. DDs shoes were missing for about 4 months last year.

Kids can be careless. DHs can be oblivious and some of us are just plain messy.

mikkii · 11/09/2013 22:22

By the way, I use "clothing tattoos" which melt into the fabric for name tapes, no sewing and almost impossible to remove. Pm me if you want to know where I get them

SisterMatic · 11/09/2013 22:22

I have had 2 'nice' things go missing at Dds nursery. I dont let her take her best stuff there anymore.

TerribleTeenTweenTwinsTantrumm · 11/09/2013 22:23

Oh, we also had the school logoed waterproof, fleeces go as well. DS1s last brand new one was actually 'replaced' on his peg with an old one with a rip in it!

breatheslowly · 11/09/2013 22:25

Well that is a distinctive coat. I doubt that you will miss it if another child appears in it. Either that or it is on eBay now.

bigwellylittlewelly · 11/09/2013 22:26

We have had some things wander from nursery - I once saw another child wearing my childs entire spare set of clothes, the dad was collecting and didn't realise the nursery had got the wrong bag of spares. One pretty hoody which was part of a gorgeous set never made it home though.

Now I'm afraid very little of any worth is sent into childcare and anything which is sentimental or semi valuable is labelled very very clearly. I also check clothes regularly and always make a habit of taking home clothes at a weekend.

Original poster
northernlurker · 11/09/2013 22:33

My child should be able to wear a gift from her grandparents to school without it 'walking'. If it doesn't reappear tomorrow I will put a note up.

OP posts:
Sister77 · 11/09/2013 22:48

At the end of the summer term my son bought his PE kit home. Including 3 lt foot plimsolls all with is name inside. 2 of 1 size and 1 of another. I don't know what happened to the others. There are no 1 rt legged children in his class.

forehead · 11/09/2013 22:49

My son has 'lost' three new jumpers this year. All these jumpers were labelled. If my ds brings home a jumper that does not belong to him, i send it back the next day. However, my ds's jumpers have not been returned.
I am sick to death of forking out for these jumpers as they cost £15 each.
Some parents are terrible

Misspixietrix · 11/09/2013 23:05

YNBU the amount of nice scarfs/hats/gloves/headbands/Cardigans that have gone missing in Dd's class. Lost property box searches have proved fruitless. I'm sure when she finishes Primary they will have. Box of most half of the stuff that went missing like the Day Nursery did Grin

Misspixietrix · 11/09/2013 23:08

forehead I had done the same with one of Dds Cardigans. Clearly named. Fair enough a child might not notice It when putting It back on amongst 20others after P.E but surely the Parent would and would hand It back. I was cross when Dd's New cardigan.that she had only.had 2weeks went 'missing' !!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 11/09/2013 23:12

Never ever send anything you value to school.
I name things inside one sleeve now, where it can't be seen unless you turn the whole lot inside out, and even that doesn't always work.

Ghirly · 11/09/2013 23:49

When my DS was 3 he went to private nursery with a new pair of Nike trainers on. He changed into black plimsoles for wearing in class.
As he was always last to get picked up due to my working hours it was very clear that one particular day they had been stolen.
Nursery teacher tried to pass it off by saying things get stolen alot but I wasn't going to let it lie so teacher sent a note home to other patents to look for it.
A couple of weeks later trainers re-appeared looking as if they had seen better days. As I said they were brand new when I dropped them off.
The audacity of the parents astounded me.
I'd never take someone else's belongings no matter what.

I hope you get the coat back

fuckwittery · 11/09/2013 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostspirit · 12/09/2013 00:09

i have written my sons names in their jumpers on the actual jumper its self not the label so it cant be cut off or anything.

LyraSilvertongue · 12/09/2013 00:17

Someone told me she'd seen one of the other mums at school take a sweatshirt from lost property and actually rip out the name tag in it to give to her child. And the family seems quite well off.

I think stealing from a child is disgusting. DS1 was distraught when someone nicked his beloved bike from our driveway (it was only cheap but he was very attached to it) and another time someone took his scooter from the scooter park at school. He cried all the way home. These scumbags are stealing from innocent children and they should be ashamed of themselves.

themightyfandango · 12/09/2013 00:28

We lost a week old pair of Clarks shoes once. DS had PE last lesson and didn't change out of his plimsolls. I realised part way home and went back to school but they had vanished never to be seen again. They had his name in them too. Luckily it has mostly been a one off bar a few lost hats and gloves. I was very hacked off though.

frogspoon · 12/09/2013 06:04

Well the good news is as you say it is distinctive, it will be pretty obvious if it is returned to school on a child.

Maybe I am naive, but I think you are rushing to conclusions by accusing someone of stealing. Maybe the child picked up the wrong coat by accident.

As walzingmathilda said, the person who picked the other child up may not have been the parent. Most men are also very unobservant, so if the father/ step-father/ grandfather etc picked the child up, they probably wouldn't notice the coat was wrong.

SubliminalMassaging · 12/09/2013 06:07

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that another child took a fancy to it and stole it, or that someone else mistook if for theirs, or that it got knocked off the peg and is lying in a heap on the floor somewhere.

I have written my children's names in big fat marker pen on their school uniforms and coats as well. Looks awful, but foolproof!

Vickibee · 12/09/2013 06:14

my ds came home wearing another child's sweatshirt completely by accident and we returned it the next day. However we have lost PE shorts a logo school bag and a karate kit all with his name on it. Like you said they disappear from pegs with no explanation. However my DS is rubbish at looking after his belongings