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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

806 replies

WombatCat · 09/09/2013 23:57

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 12/09/2013 15:18

IceBeing

I know it's rarely intentionally nasty but you would think if people come to. Discussion board it would be to try and see a different point of view about those things of which they have little personal experience.
I had no idea about living with disabilit until I was in my late 30s. I understand people not getting it but asking questions just to dismiss or ignore people's replies seems a bit thick.

And btw ignore stokeys comments. I think her true colours are showing. I wonder if Hawk is quite so keen to be standing next to her now Grin

strokey · 12/09/2013 15:20

Ah, then it cant've been me then can it YouTheCat? I have no trouble with typing or spelling.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:21

I am happy...you know you have done something right when strokey disapproves of you...in fact it isn't untrue to say that I first realised what a knob I was being when I saw that strokey was saying similar things on this thread to what I had been thinking...always a good heads up.

YouTheCat · 12/09/2013 15:21

That scenario did happen and it was bloody lucky for the stupid cow that the metro was packed (match day) or I would have ripped her a new one - verbally.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:23

ubik I don't think there is any point denying that it can be hard to have your world view shifted...people have posted over days and days in defence of the view point I was paraphrasing.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:24

heh I managed to change my mind before my first post...but I am flighty that way...ask anyone...

Dawndonnaagain · 12/09/2013 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

strokey · 12/09/2013 15:27

Well, come on! That last post by Ice was OTT. Just because you feel you have experienced some sort of epiphany doesn't mean the rest of us are waiting for a similar awakening.

Its a difference of opinion, simple. Mine is every bit as valid as yours Im afraid!

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:29

ahh and the posts have started to disappear...can anyone else feel a slight fresh breeze blowing though the gaps?

ubik · 12/09/2013 15:30

There is nothing hard about accepting that going to see a film at a public cinema may not be the Zen experience you are hoping for. It's really not difficult. It only requires a little generosity and empathy.

strokey · 12/09/2013 15:30

Sorry Dawn. That's the thing with the internet Im afraid, you don't get to pick and choose who you see there.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:31

strokey If you believe that people with disabilities shouldn't attend the cinema/ballet etc then your opinion is invalid and promotes people taking action that is against the law...(ie. excluding people with disabilities from these places).

It turns out that not all opinions are equally valid....

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:31

ubik well you didn't find it hard and neither did I...but other appear to be...no sense in denying it.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:32

I won't mind losing that post....it won't stop it being true.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 12/09/2013 15:33

hawk

I have to say you are talking as if people are asking for the moon on a stick.

Reasonable adjustments in this case (and probably just cases) are adjustments that you would make for anyone.

A few mins to let the person settle down- given to a child, a baby and that group of loud teens next to you.

Removal of an abusuve customer- would again hopefully have been applied to anyone who shouted at any body.

And maybe relocating the person somewhere more comfortable - would you not live to allow a heavily pregnant woman a bit more space, or someone who had a few bags who needed more floor space or someone who wanted to sit her kid on the end seat. Just common courtesy.

No one said they expected to be treated like royalty.

strokey · 12/09/2013 15:33

I never said that Ice. :)

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:35

strokey given the number of your posts that have been deleted for containing disablist comments (6 and counting) it is going to be hard to prove that isn't it?

usualsuspect · 12/09/2013 15:42

If your posts have been deleted for being disabilist,then I think it's,safe to say that you are in fact disabilist.

So I would give up arguing if I were you.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:42

strokey you would appear to hold the opinion that you have the right to view the film with no people suffering a noise making disability present. (you would leave and ask for a refund and go back another day). How do you propose to guarantee this without preventing people with disability from attending?

strokey · 12/09/2013 15:42

But why would you WANT me to prove it? Surely its enough that I SAY I dont think they should be banned from cinemas?

My problem is with people who tell me Im not allowed to leave.

Ill do what I like thanks very much.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:43

I don't mind you leaving...but it is your own choice to do so...you don't deserve a refund etc.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:45

And tbh it would be better if you didn't go at all if you can't guarantee polite behaviour yourself.

strokey · 12/09/2013 15:45

Everyone can attend the cinema. Ill think what I like about whether it was considerate of them or not, and leave if Im unable to hear the film.

That opinion has never been deleted, as its NOT classed as disablist :)

YouTheCat · 12/09/2013 15:46

Definitely don't deserve a refund. After all, it would be your choice to leave.

IceBeing · 12/09/2013 15:48

hmm I think there is an argument for saying that announcing loudly and proudly that you would leave the cinema if a person with disability X walked in is pretty damn disablist.

That you would do it without fuss and without demanding a refund is somewhat to your credit...but not very much.