To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

[WombatCat]

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

It's against the law to throw someone out because of their disability.

It is against the law to require silence if that would discriminate based on disability, which it does.

The ROH website shows that they have great respect and provide support for all disabled visitors, so I doubt they would be pleased about you tarnishing their very pro-active image on this thread, Hawkmoon.

Hawk,

You are kind of making massive assumptions now.
My son hasn't really encountered discrimination in great swathes. People tend to shout rude things at his bus and he gets the regular twats who gawp at him. But he has been all over the world, enjoys the cinema and theatre and is generally very lucky notwithstanding his own limitations.

I am not angry. I am just finding your lack of empathy a bit jaw dropping.

"Too much to assume she could enjoy the film in peace?"

yes it is. Because other people have also bought tickets.

It isn't too much to assume that people refrain from making voluntary noise. It is too much to assume that people incapable of refraining should not have an equal right to attend the cinema.

Do you see?

Well, I've learned 2 things from this thread -

1 - Disablism is a real word (I'd never heard it before TBH)

2 -Even leaving the cinema (quietly) and asking the management for a refund without the disabled person knowing you're doing it is Disablist as you're doing it because they're disabled. Not because you can't watch the film you wrongly assumed you could 'cos you'd paid good money to do so. If they were noisy kids would I be "Kiddist", how about "Phonist" or am I never allowed to want a refund for any reason ever?

I think I'll just use Netflix so I don't bother anyone & they don't bother me (or is that Disablist because of the reason I'm doing it?)

I just called the roh. To satisfy my own curiosity. I asked whether it would be appropriate to bring someone with a loud verbal tic to the ballet. They were CHARMING but said probably not. Anyone disturbing the audience (and cast) would be asked to leave.
I find the lengths to which you are prepared to go to bolster your own prejudices really quite abhorrent.
I WANT more than six hours unbroken sleep each night. I WANT to watch a programme without having to think about putting a cushion next to me in case my son's tics are particularly violent. I WANT my daughter to be able to walk to school. I WANT her twin not to go completely non verbal when she is worried. I will never get any of those things, but hey, I love them, they're funny, extremely clever, as stated earlier will grow up to be productive members of society. They will be kind, tolerant, well mannered folk. I cannot say any of these things about you.

5madthings

"hawk providing equality for people with special needs means at times making allowances and understanding that they may not adhere to perfect etiquette at all times, ie noise in a cinema or a theater, its called making a reasonable adjustment/allowance and is backed by law."

Yes - and quite right too. But it's making a "reasonable allowance".

Look, I imagine most if us have children. So we know how noisy babies and toddlers can be. If we were in a wedding service/school play etc and our child screamed, would we a) take them out so we didn't disturb other people or b) think, oh well, my child and I have just as much right to be here, and stay.

Heart felt post from a person living with Tourette's and then a few posts later we get insights with "life's not fair". Shocking

THERE IS NO AUTOMATIC HUMAN RIGHT TO VIEW FILMS OR BALLET IN SILENCE.

You are arguing for a right that does not exist.

Other rights that do not exist:

The right to a seat on the bus
The right to own a plasma telly
The right to clean public toilets

Those with disabilities do however have the RIGHT to engage in public life without discrimination based on their disability.

Guide dogs are allowed in when other animals are banned.
Wheel chairs are allowed when other wheeled vehicles are banned.
People who make involuntary noises are allowed into libraries.

5mad I'll be there. Ds1 is being carer for the night, hurrah!

Having a baby or a toddler is a temporary state.
I would remove my screaming baby from a cinema safe in the knowledge that very soon she will be perfectly able to sit and attend.
That is not the same as suggesting a person with SN or a disability should never go to the cinema.

Yay can't wait dawn

hawk babies aren't protected buy the equality act, thankfully those with disabilities are.

Someone with a baby can go to a ballet to a wedding or whatever without their baby, someone with a disability cannot choose to not have that disability for a while...do you see the difference...

Extremely rude and inappropriate to compare disabled children and adults who make involuntary noises, to babies and toddlers, what ever point you are trying to make.

Shame on you!

hawk having screaming kids is a temporary inconvenience. You might skip a few things you would otherwise have done.

Having a life long disability is not temporary. You cannot put off doing things you want to do until it gets better. You can only either do things you want to or don't do them...ever.

Missing the cinema once because your kid is too screamy is totally and utterly different to missing it your whole life because you make involuntary noises.

Can you see that?

5mad hey girl crush! I should butt out...people on here who are so much more knowledgeable.

It is just infuriating to have the penny drop myself and be unable to drop it for hawk and the like.

Do you know Mozart was believed to have tourettes, there are artists and musicians and performers with all sorts of disabilities including tourettes. The world of art is one that should be open to everyone of all abilities.

Trying to construct some sort of scenario where you set one disablility against another is frankly desperate.

At a school for children with sn, there will be all sorts of disabilities, and things like one child being sensitive to noise and another making involuntary noises, will be worked out in order to help both children.

A girl came up to ds in the post office the other day, she had sn and was very friendly, leaning in very close to ds - ds also has sn, he is scared when people do this, he screams and hides his face. But do you know what - there was no punch up, no conflict, the girl's mother explained that she loved children, but didn't understand that not everyone wants to be friends, and I explained that ds is very scared of people he doesn't know and.....well that was that, all very civilised and nice, because that is what decent people do.

Fanjo, don't leave. It shouldn't have to be a fight, all the time.

Don't worry hawk you just carry on your life making phone calls to places that you are not going to, about things that don't affect you, to try and justyify your opinions on an Internet forum.

Meanwhile, I will continue educating young people on TS, and carry on promoting understanding and awareness of the condition. So hopefully we don't have another generation of people who want us denied from certain jobs/events/restaurants/planes/shops etc etc.

I will continue not going to the theatre/cinema/ballet.

I still feel I am doing more positives than you.

you are allowed to want to watch a film in peace...you are even allowed to prefer it.

You aren't allowed to prioritise your desire over anyone else's desire to go to the cinema.

However, Hawk as I said earlier, my very, very bright son is off to study Lit, and according to your criteria may not attend any field trips. In what way do you consider that to be acceptable, kind, empathetic behaviour?