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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it is polite for people with buggies to fold them when a bus is busy

268 replies

SilverStreak7 · 09/09/2013 09:19

I suppose this will have mixed replies .

I am not talking of prams with sleeping babies in or even the buggies with sleeping toddlers in but those parents whom have a buggy with say a 4 year old in who is awake and who will not fold down said buggy when a single decker is getting very packed .

The other day I was on a bus and two buggies were on there , one had one of those boards at the back where an older child can stand (I do not know what they are called as never had one) , Now, the child was asleep but that is not the issue ,, The Mother watched an elderly lady slowly go by as this board was sticking out , then another pram tried to leave the bus and only at the last minute (after much struggling by the leaving Mother) did she push up the board ! Ive also seen people refuse to fold them up as a wheelchair wishes to get on .

OP posts:
Lambsie · 09/09/2013 10:25

A 4 year old in a buggy may well be disabled. A lot of sn buggies look like ordinary buggies. They shouldn't have to fold.

WorraLiberty · 09/09/2013 10:36

A 4 year old in a buggy may well be disabled. A lot of sn buggies look like ordinary buggies. They shouldn't have to fold.

Yes but then you'd tell the driver that you're unable to fold, wouldn't you?

deebeeandboys · 09/09/2013 10:48

I've used the bus a lot with small children over the years. When my oldest was tiny and we needed to take the buggy too, I used a sling, because they didn't have the spaces then.

I've never taken (or owned) a pushchair or double buggy that couldn't be folded up, on a bus. I had a travel system for my 3rd- because it meant I could fold it up if needed on the bus, keeping the baby in the car seat part- much easier than holding them with toddlers on reins too.

My dh is a wheelchair user. Nearly every time we've used the bus, there is someone who finds it impossible to fold up their buggy and hold their child at the same time- and the driver has had to tell people to move- sometimes the parents haven't, they've acted as if it's a massive inconvenience to allow him room. Dh gets annoyed by people's lack of sense (he hates buses anyway). I always fold up the buggy when we use the bus- we take up all the room as it is and it shows them up for being difficult, it's not that hard to hold a baby and fold up a buggy how do they cope with other stuff?

On one very crowded bus I used to catch in rush hour with the kids, the bus driver used to tell people to move out the bay to allow space for the buggy. I used to appreciate that- the space taken up by an unfolded buggy isn't much more than a folded one you're struggling to hold up and a toddler or two- there aren't decent luggage spaces on buses anymore, so standing up holding everything still will take up space. I could stand up and hold one child on my hip, if the buggy was unfolded. I couldn't hold two and the buggy.

I took a rolled up carpet on a bus once, with a buggy, with my baby in the sling, in the days before the spaces. Grin It was that or walk with miles with it along an A road without a pavement and the driver just laughed at me. waits for medal for being stupid wonderful and capable

MortifiedAdams · 09/09/2013 10:51

I wondered about this on the bus the other day. I have a nearly two year old in a MAclaren stroller. There is nowhere to put a folded buggy, and I am unable to hold both a (large and heavy) folded buggy and a toddler. It also would take up little to no less space.

I would, however, get off the bus and walk the last few stops of someone with a greater need than me boarded and there was no space for them.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/09/2013 10:54

Lyra..yes it is fair to expect you to fold or get off. And legally obligatory too. HtH

Pigsmummy · 09/09/2013 10:57

If there is shopping/stuff in basket part of my buggy I can't fold it, lots of other prams are the same. I won't be unloading all the shopping etc and try to deal with a child whilst folding/unfolding buggy, I haven't got enough arms. I would move it out of the way as much as possible though.

MurderOfGoths · 09/09/2013 10:58

pigs If a wheelchair was waiting to get on and you couldn't fold the pram then the right thing to do is get off the bus.

WorraLiberty · 09/09/2013 10:59

Pigsmummy you would be getting off the bus in that case.

If the driver asks you to fold, you do it or leave.

themaltesefalcon · 09/09/2013 11:00

I think the order of priority goes:

  1. Sleeping baby.
  2. Wheelchair user.
  3. Old person with Zimmer frame / person with crutches.
  4. Sleeping older child.
  5. Everyone else.

The only applies if it is a reasonable-sized pushchair and not one of those pointless enormous Hummer-type prams, which have no place on any bus whatsoever.

WorraLiberty · 09/09/2013 11:01

WTF?

A sleeping baby takes priority over a wheelchair user, in the space that's actually for wheelchair users?

Yeah right...

noobieteacher · 09/09/2013 11:02

There isn't a right or wrong, it depends on the circumstances. But equally important is that members of the public help to resolve the situation.

I once freed up a major traffic jam where a car refused to move for a bus. The driver had turned off the engine. I got off the bus and nagged the stupid woman in the car until she got fed up with me and moved. Everyone on the bus cheered. But I was amazed that nobody else had tried this, everyone just sat there moaning and complaining, a bit like on this thread. If yoy don't like it, say something that will make a difference.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/09/2013 11:03

Themaltesefalcon..maybe in your head but in law the sleeping baby is not no 1

themaltesefalcon · 09/09/2013 11:06

I have always folded my daughter's pushchair when necessary, which isn't easy, as she is a bolter. Usually this has been for old people with Zimmer frames or those tartan trolley things. I don't think you should wait for people to ask you to because many people are simply too embarrassed to cause inconvenience to a woman with a child.

I have sometimes seen both in England and in New Zealand the phenomenon of mothers (or childminders, possibly) being asked to collapse a monster-pram but preferring to storm off the bus in a huff rather than comply (or perhaps the contraptions are not foldable; I wouldn't know), generally mouthing off as they do so. Pointless unpleasantness, in my opinion.

MiaowTheCat · 09/09/2013 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JerseySpud · 09/09/2013 11:08

And this is why i would rather drive somewhere than take a bus.

themaltesefalcon · 09/09/2013 11:08

Maybe the wheelchair user in my family is just so lovely and deferential to the sleeping babies in my family that my priorities are skew-whiff.

I have never seen a wheelchair user vs sleeping baby standoff, so am guessing. The buses in my native country (where I lived when my daughter was very small) tended to have enough room for both, admittedly.

KellyElly · 09/09/2013 11:11

This thread will be 16 pages by the end of the day Grin

Morgause · 09/09/2013 11:12

Our city buses have 4 spaces for buggies or one space for a wheelchair and 2 for buggies, which is usually enough.

In the dark ages I just had a stroller which folded easily or a big pram which meant I had to walk everywhere. I think the new "systems" make life so much easier for parents. Sometimes it's impossible for them to fold them on buses if they are laden with shopping and it seems unreasonable to ask them to manage shopping, baby and toddler and fold a pram. There would be nowhere to put a folded pram anyway, as another contributor pointed out.

The buses are every eight minutes so and I don't think any reasonable person would mind a short wait rather than have a mum and kids thrown off. I've never seen that happen, though, usually there is enough space for everyone who needs it. Even those blasted wheeled tartan shopping carriers.

I saw a nasty row once, before the new buses, where the driver of a very crowded bus told a woman she and her pram, sleeping newborn and 2 other children had to get off for a wheelchair user. She was willing to do so and asked for a refund of the bus fare which was refused. She asked for something to show the driver of the next bus that the fare had been paid and the driver refused that as well. So she said she wasn't getting off then.

A few people joined in on both sides, I could only spectate from the back. The chap in the wheelchair said it was ok another bus would be along soon but the driver was determined the woman (in tears by now because she had no cash) would have to get off. He threatened to call the police and was vile to her. She was sobbing and so were the kids.

Meanwhile another bus arrived, the chap in the wheelchair got on it and off it went. But still the driver wanted the woman and her kids off. A really big chap, a few rows in front of me made his way to the front and explained, loudly, to the driver that he needed to get back in his cab and drive.

It made the papers and the driver was sacked but I've never forgotten how utterly horrible he was.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/09/2013 11:13

Exactly. .it's up to the wheelchair user if they let the baby have priority.

Problems usually arise because its not a.one off with one baby but most buses have babies on so wheelchair users may never get on if babies had priority

bearleftmonkeyright · 09/09/2013 11:18

Morgause, I was wondering about a refund. What an awful situation for both parties.

RevoltedMum · 09/09/2013 11:23

themaltesefalco

I think the order of priority goes:

  1. Sleeping baby.
  2. Wheelchair user

Please check out this

You are most welcome to lobby parliament on behalf of sleeping babies, in the mean time follow the law!

themaltesefalcon · 09/09/2013 11:25

I am not subject to that law as I do not live in the UK. Thanks for playing, RevoltedMu.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/09/2013 11:27
Hmm
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/09/2013 11:27

"Playing"

RevoltedMum · 09/09/2013 11:29

Playing? as in hairy hands?

This is a UK site you are posting on.

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