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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering webcam work?

362 replies

AnneNonimous · 08/09/2013 17:08

Haven't even name changed...eeeek

I am slowly trying to start my own business. Slowly because I don't have enough money, don't yet have enough equipment and am a lone parent.

I have seriously been considering taking up online webcam work to earn extra money to buy the equipment I need.

I have checked out a few websites, you can block certain countries from seeing you so nobody I know would have to find out! Getting undressed is not necessary and infact banned on some sites outside of 'private shows' and I could do it as and when I want (ie when DS is in bed)

Have I completely lost my mind or does it make sense?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 08/11/2013 07:58
Grin

You're funny.

soontobeburns · 08/11/2013 08:14

This is one of those threads that make me wanna throwmy phone out the window.

How dare anyone judge someone for providing for themselves! If you dont like cam work dont fucking watch it but it is not wrong nor is it immoral.
And to the posters saying its bad because you are making married men look...no they are not, the men choose to look and are not forced to spend their money especially with so much free porn around.

I say more power to anyone who is liberated enough to choose to go into it knowing they will make money for a normal human sexual response or getting money of those with foot fetishs etc.

KareninsGirl · 08/11/2013 08:28

You're basically prostitutes though.

Does that not bother you?

NorfolkInGood · 08/11/2013 08:32

It's your body/life and you can do as little or as much as you want. If I could earn the same amount doing cam work in half the time as my shit job I would. Not with my body though.

Set your prices, buy a good wig and test the waters.

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 09:11

No Karins.

Prostitute is a word. A scary one to some people I understand. It has ambiguous meanings.
dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/prostitute_2
And I would rather be a happy camgirl, than be in a different job, that would gain your approval, that I wouldn't like nor would suit me.

I don't judge the classic definition of 'prostitute' either. It's absolutely alien to me to have actual sex with someone, for my living -but women do it. And I wouldn't decide that a woman who does it is a terrible person, because I don't know her-and I don't understand the industry.

hamdangle · 08/11/2013 09:16

Obviously it's your body and your life but unless you live your life in a social vacuum then your behaviour has a wider impact. The sex industry objectifies women and providing service for men for money creates the idea that women can be bought and sold. As a parent, I would not like my son to grow up thinking about women in this way. If I had a daughter I would not want her to grow up thinking of herself in that way.

If you wouldn't be happy to see your daughter do this or your mother and you wouldn't be happy to know that your son uses these services then you shouldn't do it. And acknowledging that your son might look at porn one day is not the same as being happy for him to pay webcam girls for their services.

The marriage thing is crap too. My DH doesn't use these services because of some idea about the 'sanctity' of marriage or even out of respect for me. He doesn't do it because he doesn't view women as objects. He didn't do it when he was single so why would he do it now? Before he met me went home early from a stag do because he wouldn't go to a strip club. I wouldn't be with someone who thought these things were ok.

KareninsGirl · 08/11/2013 09:18

Selling your body for sex = pristitution.

You are selling your body for sex. Doesn't matter how much you try to dress it up.

NorfolkInGood · 08/11/2013 09:27

It's all about supply and demand. The demand is obviously there for it otherwise nobody would be doing it. It's not prostitution as cam work is legal. I respect that people will think that YABU based on their lives/relationships and beliefs. but personally I think YANBU.

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 09:37

Can you tell me exactly how I have 'Dressed it up' ?

And as I said already, it doesn't bother me. It obviously bothers you that it doesn't, but I can do little about that!

iFad · 08/11/2013 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KareninsGirl · 08/11/2013 09:46

Why would you disagree with the definition of prostitute if it didn't bother you? Does it bother you that you are one by definition?

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 09:49

As a sociology graduate I have actually taken part in a lot of research and campaigning about child abuse.

As for the you've been poor and wouldn't do it-your choice.
Doing it is my choice.
I'll choose to ignore the last sentence-I doubt anything like that has ever changed anybody's mind about anything like this (unless maybe they're already unhappy with their choice, which I evidently am not).

Tee2072 · 08/11/2013 09:50

People prostitute themselves in all sorts of ways all over the world every day. It doesn't have to be about sex.

Bexicles · 08/11/2013 09:51

www.antipornography.org/whats-wrong-with-being-a-camgirl.html

This is the reality, I personally couldn't do it.

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 09:54

Karinsgirl, You didn't give me a definition to disagree with, please correct me if I've missed something.

You told me I was one, I told you it didn't bother me, (which it doesn't) and that it had ambiguous connotations (which it does).

If I had have said 'I'M NOT A PROSTITUTE A PROSTITUTE IS SOMEONE THAT SELLS SEX!!'

Then yes. But I didn't.

If I'm a prostitute by your definition, anybody's definition then whatever. There's no right and wrong answer I don't think , to whether I am or not.

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 10:00

Bexicles I have read that article and it is interesting, but I have to say my experience has been entirely different.

I've never sold my telephone number to someone! That's a bit troublesome.
It may also help that I live with a guy who's rather large and looks like a gladiator, to how safe I feel...But IDK I did it when I was single, too.
People calling me ugly or trying to hurt me in other ways doesn't bother me either, I usually have pretty witty comebacks for things like that.

Bexicles · 08/11/2013 10:06

Sunflower just out of curiosity do you ever get viewers who just want dirty talk no extras? I think the author of the article had it rough partly because she was a known pornstar perhaps?

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 10:21

You mean who don't want to see me without my clothes on?
Yes-I think I detailed it above, one guy books a 'counselling' session, not even talking dirty. Some guys just want to talk-not even dirty talk, just have a chat with me-these tend to be the largest spenders as well.
I think 40-50% of my £ is made from guys who don't want the stereotypical get your clothes off and show me stuff. I don't get as many, but they spend more.

Yes maybe. Also some camgirls do things they're not comfortable with and get affected by it-which I really don't think they should.
There are some fetishes I'm uncomfortable with, and I refuse to do them. Some of them are things that probably aren't even that bad, to other people-I just don't personally like them. And some things people ask for (like anal!) I won't do either. I stick to what I'm okay with. Maybe I'd earn more but I do okay anyway and I'd rather stay happy!

KareninsGirl · 08/11/2013 10:43

Sunflower, prostitution = selling your body for money, ergo you are a prostitute.

Did give that definition earlier.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 08/11/2013 10:44

I feel very sorry for women who do this as they feel as though they do not have any other options.

I'm very surprised a woman who as a choice would choose to do this type of work. I'm not judging I just can't get my head around it.

£25p/h doesn't seem like a lot of money to be fair. It certainly would not be something I would choose to do.

Grennie · 08/11/2013 10:44

You get asked to do anal? I thought it was just a quick flash of your boob?

Grennie · 08/11/2013 10:48

Do what you want. But don't pretend it is just a flash of a boob.

If you google and look at the home pages of webcam sites, it is clear what men are expecting. You are not going to make money if you don't give them what they want.

NeoFaust · 08/11/2013 11:17

I've got a lot of respect for the women who say they have tried or are considering cam-work. I've not availed myself of such services, but I can't help but be impressed by the confidence it must take, in light both of bog-standard male c*ntishness and the massive judging from other women.

But to me the real stars of the thread (in a 'hope for humanity/future woohoo!' sense) are those who are saying they would not try it themselves, but won't judge others for doing it.

Tons of applause. It's that kind of attitude that builds a better world.

Grennie · 08/11/2013 11:24

It is not about judging women for doing this. It is about challenging the idea that these things are harmless and that it is an easy way of making money that only involves flashing a bit of boob.

Sunflower49 · 08/11/2013 11:25

Karinsgirlam I supposed to cry or something because of that?I've never said it bothers me being called a prostitute, to me It's just a word.
Princess, I do have many other options.
I don't earn £25 an hour-I charge a set price per minute and how much I earn depends on how many customers I get.

Greenie where I have said a quick flash of boob?I don't think I have tbh.
Neofaust, I agree.

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