to be very concerned about this situation?

[Icantstopeatinglol]

Ok situation is dsd goes to a dance school on a weekend. She's been talking about a guy there for a while now and it turns out he's the owners son who works there and as far as we know he's late twenties/early thirties. Dsd is 15. We've been slightly wary but assumed crush maybe and as long as he's not encouraging her then not a problem.
Anyway, dh happened to notice a text flash up on dsd phone yesterday just before dsd grabbed it which said 'yey I get to see you today xxxxxxxxxxxx' times those kisses by about 40!
Dh was taken aback by it but spoke to her later and she reckons it was a one off and she knows he shouldn't be doing it and she's going to tell him to stop. She's said nothing's going on they are just friends.
Dh's head is all over cos he knows he needs to do something but he can't decide what's the best plan of action as he's worried it will all come back on his dd which will then mean her leaving the school.
I think he needs to spk to the owner and threaten with the police if she doesn't say she will spk to her son and make sure it stops?
What would you all do?
I'd love to go down and rip him a new arsehole and I don't think he should be working there!

Yes. Tantrum away
Good luck.

...I'd love to go down and rip him a new arsehole

or maybe . Either way, its a classic

Can i just add something from a different angle.

I have a friend who met her dh when she was about that age, she looked & acted like she was older. He is 15yrs older than her. She knew what she was doing. 20 yrs later they are still together. My friend wasnt groomed & her dh isnt a peodophile.

I just think instead of involving police or the school you should speak to your dsd about it. How did it start, who gave who their number, does she have feelings for him?

May I also just ask... Is your dsd only just turned 15, or is she 16 soon (ie fewer than six months to go)? It may be worth sitting her down, showing her the cases of teen boys and young men aged 19/20 being prosecuted for sleeping with their gfs who were 15 and pointing out that if there are genuine feelings, they both must cool down contact to protect one another. Maybe show her the case of the teacher who ran off to France.

There is a strong chance if you go (in her view) "over her head" that you will turn this into a great romantic Romeo and Juliet tragedy in their view and add dangerous fuel to the fire and breakdown in communication - allowing him to turn you into the vindictive baddies trying to prevent their love. If you present him as a danger to her only (even though this is how you really feel) she may become defensive - if you allow her to feel adult, with responsibility for herself, she will hopefully feel respected and have respect for herself.

I think that keeping her safe means, at her age, keeping her on side and helping her mature her way through this situation.

I agree with contacting NSPCC.

Does this man work there in an official capacity? Would he have had a CRB check?
Totally inappropriate to contact your dsd. What if he's texting other young girls too?
Do you know his name? If so you could do some online detective work on Facebook or Twitter to find out more about him if possible. This may help you to persuade dsd that he's acting inappropriately.

Well dh has spoken to dsd mam and she's not happy as she's warned this guy off a few months back. She's going to spk to him again and also the owner.
Dsd is now not speaking to dh, I feel so sad for him cos I know he's gutted but we also know we've done the right thing. Her mam needed to know. Dsd will come round, think she's just upset.
We're going to wait til dsd mam has spoken to them then go from there. She said the place is like a youth club and he apparently texts a few of the kids and their parents are fine with it!?

...of and daughter was 15 in April, she is quite mature but not aswell iykwim!

Another that thinks you should go to the police, my friends daughter went through similar and the owner / parent shall we say closed in tightly to protect her son, he was still messaging her (disgusting things too) she had to go to the police but it made it harder cause the son had a book of excuses and they'd all tried to cover it up...

Does your dh not understand the potential seriousness of the situation?

What is his response when you advise him to contact the police?

She will get over if and will talk to her dad eventually.

She is being groomed by this man and her safety is paramount. You all did the right thing.

I think the chances are the owner knows he is texting various girls if dsd's mum knows. I understand its a complex situation but i find it frustrating that the police havent been contacted for advice.

She's being groomed.

I suggest you use this word when you're talking to the owner.

I met DH when I was 16 and he was 26, i'm 35 now and we're still together. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and i was certainly not 'groomed'.

Only you know your DSD/the man in question so you'll have to take a view on how to handle it. I'll warn you though to not ride roughshod over DSDs feelings because in 6 short months you'll not have much say in what she gets up to with boys/men. I barely saw my parents for many years until I had kids (at 27) and patched it up. They are fab grandparents though...