to not send my SIL a thank you note?

[WestieMamma]

MIL rang up yesterday and isn't very happy because I haven't sent SIL a thank you note. Apparently I need to send one straight away.

We live abroad and 4 months ago had a baby, so they're grandmother and auntie for the first time. MIL came to visit shortly after he was born and said that SIL wanted to visit too. They both came over a couple of weeks ago for a long weekend.

We made them welcome, fed them, housed them, took them out place each day, had meals out etc. SIL took a day off work so she could come over, which was 'very kind and thoughtful of her' and we need to thank her for giving up her time like this to spend it with us.

Have a missed something and been incredible rude to everyone else who's been to visit over the years? Or is MIL taking her adoration of her daughter a step too far?

mil is mad- thank you note to those that have provided YOU with hospitality.

She's confused. Your SIL should be sending you a thank you note.

Batshit crazy.

It's never occurred to me to thank guests for visiting me. I'd ask where my card is though for hosting her. (And probs not bother again)

I hate the ritual of thank you notes.

My SIL does them religiously and even if you're in the same room!

YANBU!

Your mil is crazy.

They came to visit you and you've to send them a thank you note?

Could this be confused with a thank you note for a baby gift? If not, Your MIL is just bonkers?

Your MIL is being odd.
Usually people who stay here send a thank you message. If I visit people I take a gift and thank them for their hospitality.

I always thank people for taking the time to visit but a note would be odd IMO.

And having now re read properly YADNBU When it's you that should be being thanked!

MIL is odd

I've never heard such nonsense.She sounds bonkers.Just ignore and thank God that you live abroad.Congratulations on your baby.

MIL sounds mad.

Phew, I thought I was the one losing the plot.

Bizarre! How rude of SIL to even mention this imaginary issue to MIL anyway.

If you've missed something then so have I!

If someone puts me up in their house especially with a new baby to mind as well, I'd be the one sending the thank you note.

TBH thank you notes are new for me anyway DH's family send them for every wee thing. Our family just says "ta" :)

Your mil is batty.

It is you who should be getting the thank you note for your hospitality.

If Sil bought something for the baby, it might be nice to thank her for that, but that's as far as your obligation goes.

what did you say to MIL in response?

Of course you should send her a thank you note, thank her for sending you one thanking you for your hospitality.

MIL has been out many, many times and has never got the hump about this before. But she seems to think the sun shines out of SIL arse and that we should be eternally grateful that she has deigned to visit us.

Ha ha, she's mad.

what did you say to MIL in response?

I'm ashamed to say it was a stunned 'erm, ok'. It was only once I was off the phone that I was like .

I politely tell her to fuck off.

Or just send one..

"Dear SIL,

Thank you so much for eating our food, using our hot water and creating extra housework for us the other weekend. It was so thoughtful of you to give up your time to visit your new niece/nephew we are truly honoured."

So silly. As others have said, SIL owes you a thank you, not the other way around!

Next time you speak to mil or email her you should say - 'that reminds me. I STILL haven't got that thank you card from SIL and like you said it seems a bit rude. Maybe it got lost in the post?'

Incidentally, if SIL got you a baby gift, you do owe her a thank you for that, just the same as anyone else.

Crazy. Thank you note from guests is usual. What pianodoodle said.

Nonsense! I always always send thank you notes for presents. I think it's polite. I certainly don't send thank you notes to people who come to visit me!