to not send my SIL a thank you note?

[WestieMamma]

MIL rang up yesterday and isn't very happy because I haven't sent SIL a thank you note. Apparently I need to send one straight away.

We live abroad and 4 months ago had a baby, so they're grandmother and auntie for the first time. MIL came to visit shortly after he was born and said that SIL wanted to visit too. They both came over a couple of weeks ago for a long weekend.

We made them welcome, fed them, housed them, took them out place each day, had meals out etc. SIL took a day off work so she could come over, which was 'very kind and thoughtful of her' and we need to thank her for giving up her time like this to spend it with us.

Have a missed something and been incredible rude to everyone else who's been to visit over the years? Or is MIL taking her adoration of her daughter a step too far?

Dear SIL

MIL informs me you've been bitching about me. Thank you for honouring us with your presence. It's always a pleasure to spend our money on you.

Get your dh to sort it out. They're his family.

Just out of interest, what gifts did SIL bring when she came to stay and did she bring a special baby gift?

Are you sure she didn't mean a thank you note for a baby gift?

Looooon.

Usually IME I send a text (no, not a written note: sue me). THEN the person I stayed with might say 'You're welcome, thanks so much for coming' etc, but it's definitely that way round.

I would send people thankyous if they'd come to a big event like a party at my place, but not just for a normal visit.

YANBU. You thank people for their hospitality, not the other way round. It makes no difference that she took time off work, because it's normal to make an effort to visit others in one way or another, whether it's travel, preparation, gifts etc.

Also if someone brings a gift for the baby or for staying with you, there's no need to send a note because of course you'll have thanked them in person.

Apart from the fact that this is just plain weird, why is she telling you off and getting you to write the thank you note. Surely she should be talking to your DH about this, not you. It's his sister.
If your SIL brought the baby a gift then you should send her a thank you note for that. She should send you a thank you note for your hospitality (and by thank you note I mean text, email, note on FB or card - it's the sentiment not the delivery method)

Jeez that is daft. Do nothing, and if it is mentioned again, try a confused...oh I thought you said she was sending us a thank you note for our hospitality. FFS, YANBU! Congrats on new baby.

Total batshit crazy

SIL needs to send you a thank you note for your hospitality - not the other way around

Oh poor MIL, age is obviously catching up with her as she's confused you and SIL - it is (obviously) SIL who should be thanking you for hosting her, especially so soon after giving birth.....

Thank you notes/cards should be banned. I sent them after my wedding, and thats it.

You could ring your sister-in-law and say how your mother-in-law said something about a Thank You card? You're not too sure because you were a bit distracted by baby. Anyway, you never received it but she shouldn't worry as it was just a pleasure for you and your partner to offer them hospitality and you hope they'll visit again soon.

I would say that I'm a bit snowed under with all the thankyou notes I have to write at the moment, I've still not thanked the milkman for delivering the milk and the paper boy for delivering my newspaper and the bin men for collecting our refuse.

it is normal to send a thank you card when you have stayed with someone not the other way around!!
some people!
do what Vivacia said!

Vivacia, that is a passive-aggressive masterpiece. [respeck]

Curious. What was present for baby? If shabby say so!

How peculiar. Makes me wonder who else I should be thanking.

Dear dentist, thank you for performing root canal surgery and relieving me of £1500.

Dear parking inspector, thanks for the ticket, it was a lovely surprise.