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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbors AKA Lazy Bastards

32 replies

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:09

Hello i'm a long time lurker.
This is my first post and I wanted to have a bit of a rant (and some advice) because I feel like i'm going to explode if I don't.
We (me, STBH & 3yo DD) have got downstairs neighbors from hell. They are a couple of tossers with 2 DS (aged 1&5). The woman downstairs (lets call her Cindy) is a lazy cow. She refuses to get ready most of the time, take her oldest son to school, feed them properly and they are always dirty. I asked her why her son wasn't at school one morning (after seeing him off for 3 days playing in the garden until 10pm) and she told me she couldn't be bothered. Her youngest son always has a saggy, smelly nappy when we see him. Their dad (lets call him Bob) is ALWAYS drinking. I refuse to let my DD in the garden when he is like this (which is most of the time and is a shared garden). Yesterday it was 11am and he was drinking fosters. Cindy always goes and gets mortal (every other night) and leaves her children with Bob who is always drunk. When Cindy gets home her and Bob scream at each other for hours. My DD normally asks if we should ring the police man again because she is scared. The kids are always up at midnight, running around and screaming. We can hear them through the floor. Things got worse recently when the 1yo cut his head, Cindy was left by herself as Bob had gone to get pissed with his pal. I suggested her 5yo stays with my partner and DD (as he likes playing with DD) and me, Cindy and 1yo go to the walk in centre. We went, his head needed gluing, we came home, Kids and Cindy went in their flat. Later on that night Cindy called 999 as LO had puked up (doc had told her to ring 999) - Bob staggered in shouting abuse at us both (as she asked me to wait with her until paramedic came). Bob accused us of poising his son. Paramedic checked LO - luckily he wasn't concerned about him and left after checks were done. Bob calls me a cunt as this was all my doing. I went home after this. Cindy has been texting abuse at me saying we were to stay out of the garden, I'm stuck up, we use them (she said this after my dp put up our baby gate in their house to stop her son from getting to the oven and after using our wifi for 3 months and me taking her to the walk in when no one else gave a shit etc etc)

Now we ignore them. I have reported her to the school a few times but the HT thinks I have a personal vendetta against her (even though they know 5yo hasnt been to school!) - I don't know what else to do. We ring the police when they argue and scream but they always leave without arresting anyone so what do I do now? Should I move?

OP posts:

Catsize · 07/09/2013 22:12

Social services? Landlord if social housing? Sounds awful!

pianodoodle · 07/09/2013 22:13

I'd be tempted to move if possible just to avoid exposing my own child to this.

Only thing I can think of is social services?

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:14

Landlord says they pay their rent - Nothing he can do. Surely if SS were needed the police would of referred them after being in their pit house when they argue?

OP posts:

BOF · 07/09/2013 22:15

I'd certainly report them to Social Services.

Catsize · 07/09/2013 22:19

Not necessarily wrigley. I would get in touch definitely. Their kids are unlikely to! Is it a private landlord?

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:20

Yeah, private landlord :(

OP posts:

Ragusa · 07/09/2013 22:23

Social services. If everything is as described, this is surely a case of neglect. And the parents are likely breaking the law by not sending their child to school or arranging education otherwise...

Cupcake1985 · 07/09/2013 22:24

I would try to move if possible. Immediately. Your dc will have horrible memories and not feel safe in her own home. I remember feeling scared if there were people drunk outside our house and we lived in a very safe area. I would definitely report them to social services, police should but we've all seen in the media that doesn't always happen as they are so busy. Prepare for the fall out though as they will probably know it was you. Dear goodness I hope you can move

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:24

If the school won't take me seriously and the police don't do anything when they are called out - will social services?

OP posts:

Catsize · 07/09/2013 22:26

Worth a try wrigley, surely. Poor kids. Drat re:private lld.

Finola1step · 07/09/2013 22:27

One option... Move.

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:28

Yeah, your right. Do you know if I can ring them on a sunday or will it have to wait until monday? I can hear them downstairs shouting now. :(

OP posts:

WhereHasSheGone · 07/09/2013 22:30

Wow, I am not one to get involved in other peoples business but it sounds as if these children need to be removed from their care. I would most definitely call social services

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:31

We have lived here for a year and a bit and they have lived downstairs for 6 months. Constant nightmare since they moved in really.

OP posts:

Catsize · 07/09/2013 22:31

Oh.
Would call police again. Every call re:the address is logged and may help SS. Don't know if you can call on a Sunday. Probably only an emergency number for use by police etc. who may need a child taking into care upon someone's arrest or something.

Catsize · 07/09/2013 22:32

By the way, would emphasise the concern you have about the children rather than the noise nuisance in your call to police if you call them, but you will no doubt do that anyway.

Ragusa · 07/09/2013 22:33

They should do... I thought they had a statutory duty to investigate all referrals (not necessarily taking it back to the parents though....) and assure themselves that a child was not at risk of serious harm. What have the police and school said?

deepfriedsage · 07/09/2013 22:33

What about nspcc?

WhereHasSheGone · 07/09/2013 22:34

WrigleyMrs

I really feel for you, I don't think I'd be able to cope in your situation, I do hope that something is done about these people. You shouldn't have to live like this ??

User3433399 · 07/09/2013 22:36

I would try to move as soon as possible. It sounds like a poisonous situation to be living with, I can't imagine you can ever relax. If SS arrive the couple will very likely suspect it is you that called and it could escalate. The poor kids do sound badly cared for though. I assume you are alert to any serious issues (through the floor ) so at least you are able to have some idea that they are OK, if allowed to go 'feral'. Sort out moving ASAP and once that is underway call SS. If you are really worried about the kids though do both in parallel. The parents sound like they have some very serious issues.

Ragusa · 07/09/2013 22:37

I think there will be an emergency children's social care number to call. What area are you in?

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:38

The HT at school said she doesn't deal with parent fall outs (my DD starts nursery on Tuesday) and that she will look into why 5yo downstairs isn't at school. (Which she obviously hasn't done). Police said they would come to their address and our I.D would remain secret. No arrests are made each time they have been called out. We recently got advised to keep a diary (of noise and worrying behavior with kids etc)

OP posts:

Ragusa · 07/09/2013 22:39

Moving may well be a solution for you, but please do call SS as well, as it won't be a solution for the poor kids :(

Original poster

WrigleyMrs · 07/09/2013 22:40

Ragusa we are in Newcastle

OP posts:

Bearfrills · 07/09/2013 22:40

Social Services for the children and even though its a private landlord you can still contact the council about the noise and abusive behaviour - they'll send you diary sheets and will send them a warning letter, they can take action against them (including eviction) regardless of whether it's privately rented.

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