Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be astonished that secondary kids can't do up a tie

146 replies

SEmyarse · 05/09/2013 21:05

Dd1 started secondary today. She has a muscle condition which means that her fingers (amongst other things) are very weak, and she also has very poor co-ordination.

She manages her condition so well in almost every way, and really hates attention being brought to it, so has been practicing doing a tie all summer. She would be mortified to have to ask a teacher to help at this age.

So imagine her surprise when having had PE today, at least 10 kids couldn't get their ties back on, and had to form a queue to get the teacher to help.

Now I get that they've not worn them before, and no-one learns anything instantly but a) why have the parents not taught them? b) why are the kids not concerned themselves that they'll be seen as babies? Someone must have put them on this morning, so they must have been aware they couldn't do them. This doesn't seem like the sort of stuff secondary teachers should have to do.

OP posts:
seriouslypeeved · 05/09/2013 22:04

DD started seniors today and has to wear a tie. My dad had to teach her as I don't have a clue. DD practiced over the summer and is now fine

Ericaequites · 05/09/2013 22:06

I know many grown men in university who don't do up their own ties. They leave it tied and loosened on the dresser.

Trills · 05/09/2013 22:06

YANBU to be surprised that they haven't been practising in preparation for going to "big school"

froken · 05/09/2013 22:07

I don't know how to do up a tie and my secondary school days are far behind me.

Why on earth do children need to wear a tie to school?? What an unnecessary faff.

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt · 05/09/2013 22:07

I can't tie a tie. No idea.

PigletJohn · 05/09/2013 22:14

nobody is born knowing how, but any man over the age of 10 should be able to. Best if he can do a bow tie by age 17 as well.

A bit of practice is all you need. The younger you learn the better.

Some young joiner at work asked me to tie his once Shock

I refused but stood next to him at a mirror so he could copy me.

Tapirbackrider · 05/09/2013 22:28

Ds can't do his tie, he loosens it at night and leaves it done up whenever possible. Dh tends to be the one to sort it out for him or dd in a pinch.

mrsslc · 05/09/2013 22:40

A basic tie isn't difficult though?! Twirl it round and poke it through and voila! :-)

funkybuddah · 05/09/2013 22:42

I can't tie a tie and I wore one for a year at school.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/09/2013 22:43

Fine not knowing how to at any age.

Not preparing your children to be able to when you're sending them to the school, not fine. Lazy parenting.

pointythings · 05/09/2013 22:45

I can't tie a tie. My DD1 wears a clip on tie - and if that ever changed, I'd ask DH to tie it for her and then leave it permanently looped, because ties are a stupid antiquated waste of time.

They should be abolished permanently, everywhere.

SummerHoliDidi · 05/09/2013 22:46

We gave out the new school ties to our year 7s this morning (first day of their new school) and I demonstrated to my form how to tie it, then "helped" 9 of them and tied 10 myself because those pupils just couldn't manage it. I have told them not to untie it completely and just make the loop bigger so they can take it off then tighten it again when they put it on in the morning, OR practise really hard tonight because I don't want to be tying ties again tomorrow.

utreas · 05/09/2013 22:50

YANBU all people should be able to dress themselves properly.

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 05/09/2013 22:51

DS used to have a tie at old school (we left it tied... It was bad enough that his shoes had laces I forced him to have but a yr of practicing and he still couldn't do them, so we have now got Velcro again). So now he can have an elastic tie... And he now asks me for a normal one?!?! He prefers the tie your own tie it seems...

ReallyTired · 05/09/2013 22:55

My son learnt how to do his tie last Monday. He practiced for two hours to get the hang of it.

I agree that school ties are a stupid idea, but it is poor parenting not to teach a year 7 (without special needs) who to do a tie.

PigletJohn · 05/09/2013 22:57

I wonder if this is it?

I can do it with my eyes closed but not in a mirror, or watching this video. It confuses me.

I don't agree with their tip about the centre seam, it depends how thick your neck is, and how long your chest.

dopeysheep · 05/09/2013 23:02

Ties are ridiculous. I can do one though they are really very simple and I am not very dextrous.
And agree totally with Lady Bigtoes about the health and safety aspect at school, completely mad item of clothing.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 05/09/2013 23:06

I can't do anything and I can tie a tie. Had them
at primary school and remember being surprised in secondary school that loads of people couldn't do them and just loosened and put them over their heads.

But I can see why people who've never had to wear one can't do it.

Dobbiesmum · 05/09/2013 23:12

DS can but he struggles and it's nothing to do with lazy or poor parenting thank you very much, don't be so bloody smug!
He struggled with his shoe laces for a long time as well but not lack of teaching or trying, some things just defeat him for a while but he gets there in the end (no SN ).
I have tied my own tie approximately 5 times. Once for every year of high school. I would tie it the first time and then loosen it and pull it over my head every day for as much of the year as I could get away with...

EduCated · 05/09/2013 23:18

The older I get the more bizarre I find it that I had to wear a tie aged 4-12. I mean, tiny boys and girls in ties? Why?! WHYYYY?!

NoComet · 05/09/2013 23:22

Both DDs can tie ties, although they slip then on and off for weeks before bothering.

Anyway DCs only need one skill, how to tie a big enough, but tidy knot, that you never have to do up your top button. Not even for our grumpy music master, who was obsessed with ties and lurked after assembly to tell us off.

BackforGood · 05/09/2013 23:29

I agree with OP's point though, that if your dc are off to secondary, and you want them to fit in and just be one of the crowd, then you do everything you can to help that happen, which, if they are going to a school that has a tie as part of it's uniform, means teaching them (and getting them to practice) tying a tie.

AnneUulmelmahay · 05/09/2013 23:30

Ooh ooh lazy parent here

We spent the summer rambling through the local countryside, learned some cloud formation names, cultivated Grandmama's garden, went fossilling and body boarding, identified ancient earthworks from high points in the landscape, refined diabolo skills. Etc etc bla de blah

Tie-tying? Night before secondary began, in fact older kid taught the younger one the how-to

Totes lazy, moi

Lj8893 · 05/09/2013 23:39

Piglet why should any man over 10 know how to tie a tie?

If they have never had to wear one then the chances are they have never learnt or been taught to wear one.

I agree though, if a child needs to wear a tie for school then the parent should teach them and then encourage them to practice doing it.

But if the child doesn't wear a tie to school then it seems a random thing for a parent to teach unless they need to wear one for another occasion.

quesadilla · 05/09/2013 23:47

I never mastered ties...
To be honest for girls I don't see why they should, really. An adult woman never has to wear a tie even in very buttoned-down professional environments. I can understand why girls and boys both have to wear them for consistency but it is slightly balmy in a way, if you're never going to wear one again after the age of 18...