To think that this 6th Form Dress Code is wrong.

[alistron1]

DD1's 6th Form has a strict dress code of business/office wear. They have to look smart - which is fine.

This week it's been really hot, yesterday DD1 wore 'bare legs' with her very modest skirt suit. She got told off - initially for wearing flesh coloured tights (tights should be black) and was referred to the dress code which she brought home for me to read.

It contains this line:

"This is a mixed environment with particular implications for the way in which female students should dress."

AIBU to complain about this statement?

Banning flesh-coloured tights is very odd. It's almost as though girls are encouraged to cover anything that so much as resembles female flesh.

Yeah...and whose flesh colour? Does this mean that different coloured tights are banned for girls of different ethnicities?

Moomin DD1 is also seriously considering the local collage for the same reason. She wants to be treated as a young adult too!

Oh and another stupid thing.
DD1 got full marks for suitable dress at her mock interview.

Wearing a very nice long sleeveless blouse, over you've guessed, her school skirt, which is way shorter than the (totally ignored) rules.

It's all a complete waste of time.

OH MY GOD, I knew it would be that school from the OP. I went to that school and sixth form, and although they didn't have that exact phrasing, that was definitely the attitude. There was an assembly given just to the girls about being careful not to provoke / tempt / lead on the boys. Honestly. Complain, complain, complain.

Also, it is rather tangential to the point, but I was once sent home because although my skirt & jacket matched in colour, they did not match in fabric. This is how strict the dress code is, even without shaming young women for being young women.

When I was in the sixth form aeons ago we had no dress code. We were however, expected to work and behave in an appropriate manner.

I appreciate that smart dress can go some way to reassuring people that someone appears trustworthy/reliable but in truth, if we are going to purely judge someone on whether they are dressed 'appropriately' then we're likely to miss out on a whole raft of talent.

I had a rather heated discussion with someone last week when I said that I did not care what colour or length hair someone had, whether they had tattoos or piercings or not, but I did care that they were honest, polite and competent at what they did. In some lines of work, more rigid dress codes may be appropriate, but the purpose of sixth form and university is to further the education and broaden the skill set of the individual, surely?

'business/office wear' for students?

Are they all studying accountancy, business studies, politics etc?

Is nobody studying Home Ec (or whatever it's called now), Art, Music, PE, academic subjects - academics are well-known for being smartly dressed after all?

They're students not professionals. IMO it's silly.

Whose flesh anyway? Are they assuming all legs are pink?

They are not even students. They are pupils, damn it!

I know, motherinferior. I am wearing blue tights. I suppose this would have particular implications for the Pictish men, then?

Yes. A less formal dress code would make the pupils more obviously pupils and less like the teachers.

It is absolutely wrong on every level.

Sadly, I haven't found 'flesh' colured tights suitable for me either - they'd have to be white and purple-blue I'm sorry to say. Black tights have the effect of my making my legs more attractive I'd have thought - sleek and sophisticated. Or something.

Oh, also, the same school - a girl got pregnant at the end of year 11, and had to just leave. She wasn't allowed to come back to sit her GCSEs in the hall with us, and she was told not to come back to sixth form. Honestly.

I drove past three school runs this mornings - all good performing secondaries with 6th forms.

I noted black tights, nude tights, black knee length socks, white and black ankle socks. 6th form girls in bare legs and ballet style shoes. All seemed perfectly respectable to me.

I also drive by two tube stations, and watched the commuters. Not a single pair of tights - everyone in trousers or bare legs.

I'm in my office (law firm), we are all in trousers or skirts with bare legs.

My DH went to his city law job this morning in jeans and a shirt.

Completely agree re: the shifty estate agent comment. The only people I have seen in suits today are shifty looking estate agents!

PrickleHead That's awful! School-age mothers need education and the opportunity to sit their final exams more than anyone else, if anything!

Absolutely 'stron!

Do write to them. However don't expect any changes in policy, though the wording really MUST change. If yout 6th form is like mine there is an element of " how very lucky you are to be here and never forget it" to explain pettiness !

( Caveat we've had no issues since DD1 was in 6th form the boys wear uniform and it's just so much less stressful, wish the girls would!)

Having business attire as the dress code is not unusual and not the point here. The OP has chosen to send her daughter to this college and is supportive of the dress code in principle.

Schools seem to confuse "business attire" and "outfits worn by low-grade clerical/service workers".

Hmm DS had to wear a business suit for 6th form. My heart almost swelled with pride when I saw him in it with a Lewin shirt for the first time. It is much better than the overgrown schoolboy look, ie, gangling youths who have started shaving in a too small blazer and poly cotton shirt. Gazes at photo on desk.

Can I just say that the only suits I have ever worn for work were (a) a rather fabulous coral pink with a really quite short skirt (b) a natty grape-purple trousered number. I was running the communications for a major national charity at the time. Neither outfit would have been looked at with particular approval by most schools....

Fraumoose
as the poster who realised that the school could be definitively identified from the post I am sad and disappointed that you have gone to the local press about it.

OP had the right to.
Other parents at that school had the right to
You UTTERLY did not.

Last night when I made it clear I had identified the school, I respected OP and did not even identify which part of the British Isles it was in.
You on the other hand have potentially made life even more difficult for her daughter.

The uniform rule is out of order.
As an example of how it works in a non sexist way, have a look at the rules at Caterham school.The colour of the tights is not the issue, their presence and condition is. As is the presence and condition of the boys' trousers.

Some points of information, in relation to my having flagged up this story to an extremely reputable journalist, who has handled one or two other sensitive stories I've given him with due care.

Firstly, I have no idea of the real-life identity of the Original Poster or her child. Nor do I have any interest in finding out or sharing such information.

Secondly, there seems to be a lack of awareness about the circumstances in which the press may identify a particular child at any given school.
There is more information at www.pcc.org.uk/cop/practice.html

Thirdly. My own daughter attends a school run by the same Foundation as the Original Poster's child.

Fourthly. My daughter considered switching to the sixth form at the school concerned in order to study the International Baccalaurate, but ended up deciding against it. I was very concerned to discover that - at some point in the spring/summer term, the school then decided to stop offering the IB. Had my daughter gone through the interview process and been given a place there to do this course of study, she would then have been extremely upset by the late decision to withdraw this course. The change does not seem to have been at all well-planned or implemented.

Fifthly. My stepson did attend the same school as the Original Poster's child, so I have an additional interest in the place. For five years my husband and I were very concerned about the fact that - despite repeated requests and promises which were never kept - they didn't send us any communications about my stepson's education. (It's hardly unusual for parents to be separated and for parents with care to fail to pass on information to non-resident parents. The school also failed to identify some particular needs he had for educational support, and this failure on their part has had some serious long-term consequences.

I have no issue with fraumoose going to the press with it, as she pointed out I did put it out there. If I end up with a sad face picture in the daily mail though I will sue for damages!

No response to my email, which I think is pretty bad form regarding a complaint from a parent.

Thank you alistron1. I really don't like the idea of upsetting anyone. I was rather perturbed when my own daughter - also in business dress - was told on the same hot day by a particular teacher that she shouldn't take her suit jacket off in class because that infringed the uniform code. I asked my daughter whether she wanted me to complain. She said 'no', as they were going off on a residential the following day and the forecast was for colder weather. Other teachers were fine about girls sitting blazerless in their classes that day. (If the issue recurs, I'll undoubtedly be raising it - though as the weather's changing I think all should go quiet.

I would agree it's bad form - parental complaints should always get a quick response, even if it's just a "Thank you for your email and we are looking into it" type of thing. That's what we do but granted the school I work in is probably 1/10th the size of yours!

Awaiting school's response with interest...