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AIBU?

To think that this 6th Form Dress Code is wrong.

236 replies

alistron1 · 05/09/2013 18:30

DD1's 6th Form has a strict dress code of business/office wear. They have to look smart - which is fine.

This week it's been really hot, yesterday DD1 wore 'bare legs' with her very modest skirt suit. She got told off - initially for wearing flesh coloured tights (tights should be black) and was referred to the dress code which she brought home for me to read.

It contains this line:

"This is a mixed environment with particular implications for the way in which female students should dress."

AIBU to complain about this statement?

OP posts:
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marriedinwhiteisback · 06/09/2013 08:02

I know a lady judge who wears biker boots and has a rather snazzy haircut with a tendency to die bits of it in interesting colours. Magic circle firms still insist on very traditional attire when facing clients but the women wear very smart trouser suits too nowadays. The world has moved from the early 80s.

OP if I were you I'd list three things that have been serious that the school hasn't dealt with: bullying, theft/assault, that teacher about whom everyone complains and sweetly note you take on board their concerns about dress code but would prefer them to be cognizant of the equality act and urge the school to focus on the serious issues which are likely to affect pupil happiness and achievement.

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BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 06/09/2013 08:26

the male teacher thing is a real thing - I wore my own clothes in 6th form, but even before that on own clothes days, the retort was always 'you're making the male teacher uncomfortable'. hence the ban on SHORTS. definitely challenge this, and whoever said about asking whether the teachers also abide by this rule had the right idea.

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RocknRollNerd · 06/09/2013 08:32

My (girls only) 6th form went to 'smart business' when I was in the U6. It covered all bases nicely with the wonderful phrase 'items of clothing more suited to wearing on the beach (strappy tops, sundresses, shorts, flipflops etc) are not considered suitable office wear'. They'd covered off 'no denim' earlier on in the guidance. My final act of not-really-rebelling-at-all was to turn up for my final STEP exam (when there were 3 of us left doing exams as all the others had finished) was wearing a chambray denim backless sundress with flipflops; I figured they valued their Oxbridge stats too much to send me home Grin.

Another one here who wore bare legs in practice (Big4 accountancy) in my last few years; it moved on a lot from the mid-90s when I joined and the regional senior partner didn't like women wearing trousers and we all had to see Anthea the Terrifying Image Consultant (TM) on our first day (who tried to turn us all into Air Stewardesses in navy suits and natty little scarves you could tie 50 different ways according to her handout).

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TiredyCustards · 06/09/2013 09:09

There's nothing more ridiculous than a teenager in a suit.

Disgraceful policy and wording.

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Bonsoir · 06/09/2013 09:11

My DSSs' very high performing lycée (equivalent of sixth form) in a plush area of Paris has a dress code, but no uniform. Girls wear jeans (dark with no holes) and t-shirts... as do boys. Clothing is just not an issue. All the parents work in professional environments and their DC are destined for the same.

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breatheslowly · 06/09/2013 09:11

I think 6th formers in suits look like shifty estate agents.

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MoominMammasHandbag · 06/09/2013 09:44

My DDs school had a sixth form taster day on a boiling hot day lays summer. Most of the girls turned up in shorts and about 50 of them were lined up and told they had to go home and change. When DD objected (she was wearing very, very modest longish shorts - in no way hot pants), the female head of sixth form basically said that it was disturbing for the male teachers to see their legs.
I actually wrote a very arsey letter saying that I was uncomfortable with my daughter being taught by male teachers who were in any way paying attention to teenage girls' legs.
My daughter chose to do her A levels at the local sixth form college which gets far better results than the school and treats the students like young adults.
I also think this notion of business dress is laughable; you don't paint or sculpt or conduct science experiments in a business suit.

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mummytime · 06/09/2013 09:51

My DS's new school insists on students wearing suits/business dress. But it is a specialist school, so doesn't do much sculpture and I assume they remove Jackets for Science experiments etc.
However if I they had a sentence as to why girls have to wear tights or the colour I would complain.

DH who works in the same profession as the specialism says they don't wear suits that much anymore and certainly don't often wear ties (he wears them when he's meeting the Board only).

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steppedonlego · 06/09/2013 10:01

Completely and utterly ridiculous that in this day and age any woman or girl has to adjust their appearance for the comfort of any man.

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Bonsoir · 06/09/2013 10:04

I really object to the idea that school is solely preparing pupils for life as corporate drones.

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OctopusPete8 · 06/09/2013 10:12

That is grim,
-
My headteacher once banned lycra trousers cuz' some girls "didn't have the figures for tight trousers" no word of a lie,
this was published in a report too.

As long as the skirt is an adequate length I should think that's enough.

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FrauMoose · 06/09/2013 10:20

The school is in my area and part of the same Foundation as the school my daughter attends. I have passed the link to this thread and the relevant Powerpoint on to a regional journalist/brodacaster....

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LibraryBook · 06/09/2013 10:22

I think they mean mixed as in boys and girls. And the girls' bare legs are likely to upset the boys' equilibrium and lead to an understandable lack of self-control.

If the girls with bare legs get raped in the sixth form common room, it will be their own fault for not sticking to the dress code. Shock

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Pachacuti · 06/09/2013 10:23

Even though the OP specifically asked us all not to out the school?

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Bonsoir · 06/09/2013 10:24

I don't actually think that expecting teenaged girls to dress in a non-sexualised way at school is unreasonable - it is the same train of thought that makes me dislike sexualised clothes for small girls.

However, head-to-toe black in all weather seems positively Saudi Arabian and OTT.

There is a middle ground.

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MoominMammasHandbag · 06/09/2013 10:26

Exactly Bonsoir.
To be honest, my DS spent quite a few of his sixth form lunchtimes kicking a ball around with his mates. And I think that's fair enough, lots of them are still kids at that age. He'd have struggled in a business suit though.
Nothing more uncomfortable than a teenager in a cheap suit.

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FrauMoose · 06/09/2013 10:28

The information is in the public domain, and of public interest. If someone really wants/needs to keep stuff private, my feeling is that it's better not to post all over a publically available and highly popular messageboard, where anybody can see it and make their own decisions about what to do with it. (That's what we tell our kids isn't it?)

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EvieanneVolvic · 06/09/2013 10:29

Nice one FrauMoose.... NOT!

What Pachacuti said

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EvieanneVolvic · 06/09/2013 10:35

Yes, you may well have been coming from a good place, but it wasn't really in your gift to spread it was it Frau especially when the OP asked that it not be. Admittedly it was pretty easily identifiable from the wording, but even so, hardly in ths spirit of MN (or even AIBU ) is it?

I have messaged MNHQ to suggest that this sort of stuff be incorporated into the Talk guidelines.

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TheBigJessie · 06/09/2013 10:35

How much do these suits cost for sixth formers, anyway?

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LibraryBook · 06/09/2013 10:36

Banning flesh-coloured tights is very odd. It's almost as though girls are encouraged to cover anything that so much as resembles female flesh.

Is it by any chance a boys' school that admits girls in the sixth form?

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LibraryBook · 06/09/2013 10:37

I think this thread should be deleted now, urgently.

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OctopusPete8 · 06/09/2013 10:38

Suits? thats crazy why do they have to wear suits. Sounds like a strict 6th form.

But I agree with Bonsoir I remember one of my mates turning up to 6th form one day with a tight shift dress that barely and I mean barely covered, had she bent over it would have been a full eclipse. Not one teacher said anything.

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AFishWithoutABicycle · 06/09/2013 10:41

Implications???
What implications??? Twunt!
I hope your daughter and her friends are furious about this. Back them in creating a huge stink its 2013 ffs.

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themaltesefalcon · 06/09/2013 10:43

Black tights with summer dresses are styleeeeee.

Fact.

(I may have become a teenager in the 90s.)

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