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Original poster

To have smiled sweetly and said nothing to this school bully

515 replies

DrinkFromMyFountain · 05/09/2013 14:55

14 years ago I left school. There was one girl who made my life hell, said a load of nasty things about me and told me I would never amount to anything. She also said I'd end up single and Childless at 30 working in a shop. (NB I see nothing wrong with this, but it was meant in a horrible, nasty, put downy way). This was amongst various other things she said and did to try to make my life a misery.

This morning I took my car to the car wash and saw her working there washing cars.

I ordered my car wash for my naice car with my baby DS in the back and said "fancy seeing you here". She made a grimace of a face and carried on with her work.

Karma you beauty.

OP posts:
MurielHeslopp · 06/09/2013 00:20

It's genuinely made me sad reading these stories of some of you as children being beaten up, avoiding going certain routes home etc. Brings it all flooding back to me how I felt when being bullied and I hope to God none of my children will ever be victims.

It's not pleasant to gloat over somebody who, for years, made you feel utterly worthless and afraid, now looking miserable (or doing jobs they felt were beneath them) but I don't think it's such a terrible thing really.

As long as you're not actually rubbing it in their face and bullying them in return, it doesn't really harm anyone, does it?

moustachio · 06/09/2013 00:20

I don't think having an opinion of one persons job reflects on my personality. I do understand your point though.

I would never look down on a waiter if I was in McDonalds or a nice restaurant. Who I am to judge them? I know nothing of their life or story, they may be extremely happy and fulfilled in their employment. A girl I knew for a long period of time, who I know did aspire to great things, I judge her as I know what held her back was the way she felt she was superior to everyone and made people around her she disliked feel like shit. I can find amusement in the behaviour she showed towards me, ultimately back fired I hope that makes sense.

Pimpf · 06/09/2013 00:27

Different it's not a case that they are being looked down on for having that job, rather that it amuses us that they are doing a job that they themselves looked down on. There is a big difference

moustachio · 06/09/2013 00:30

Well said pimpf!

Secretswitch · 06/09/2013 00:51

This entire thread is sad making. I was a one legged fat chick with glasses and spots. My bullies were many and vicious. My friends and family were strong, loving and supportive. I was hurt and sad many times. I would not wish anyone be sat in class having the mean boy whispering pegleg over and over again. I do wish anyone bullied had my parents, siblings and friends there to pick up the pieces, talk about love, hope and staying strong.

MidniteScribbler · 06/09/2013 01:29

My moment came at my high school reunion. My bully was actually my maths teacher. Two horrible years where I would cry at the thought of going in to maths class. She would constantly call me out in front of the whole class, pick up my work and laugh at it, and tell me loudly in front of the whole class that I would never be able to get a decent job since I was so bad at maths and I'd better find a good husband to look after me because I would never have a career or be able to balance my chequebook, but since I wasn't good looking I'd probably not be able to find one. I worked my guts out just to scrape through on a pass through those years.

So fast forward to our reunion and she was there. She made a beeline for me and said very loudly "so are you still working at that shop?" (meaning the store I worked in part time during my school years). "Oh no," says I, "I just finished my Masters in Education, with a Dean's award in mathematics, and I'm about to start my PhD." Walked away. Yes, I gloated. But I think it was a moment I deserved.

MyBaby1day · 06/09/2013 01:50

HA HA, yes, always believed in old karma hope my bastard enemies get it too Grin. Glad your life is going well now OP Smile

kiwimumof2boys · 06/09/2013 02:39

OK have read all 9 pages (phew!)
I was also bullied, and I'm gonna say, I have run into old bullies in my home town . . . and I don't care what they have done, whether they're fat or thin, a cleaner or a CEO . . . because I'm HAPPY. I am surrounded by postive friends, lovely DH and DC. And I think that shows.
Its a cliche, but really having positive relationships is the most important thing in your life. Sorry for sounding like oprah.
But, I am glad that those who've posted like OP re seeing their old bullies got some comeuppance !

differentnameforthis · 06/09/2013 06:27

for those attacking the OP and deliberately missing the point, defending and excusing the bullies, you really have no idea

I was bullied too, doesn't mean I can visit that on other people. It IS shit, but so is this thread!

differentnameforthis · 06/09/2013 06:30

She made my life hell...

So that makes it ok to sneer at her? You felt shit & now you want to make someone else feel just as bad, and you don't see the wrong in that?

My mum made my life hell, and I just walked away! I don't care what she is doing now, but I certainly don't feel the need to visit my pain on her.

differentnameforthis · 06/09/2013 06:37

FreeWee

Do you not wonder now, while you are giving out your karma crap, why a 15yr old thought it was OK to sleep around & constantly need male attention, so much so that she took risks with contraception (and STDs) & got pregnant so young?

:(

MidniteScribbler · 06/09/2013 06:49

After years of put downs and abuse, there is nothing wrong with having a bit of smug satisfaction when you were able to rise above what was said and come out stronger on the other side. It's not necessarily about what the other person has or hasn't done with their lives, but about what you have achieved with yours.

LtEveDallas · 06/09/2013 07:07

I don't believe in Karma, if it was true then the lovely people I know wouldn't have had awful things happen to them. Unfortunately just as many school bullies go on to be successful as vice versa.

I believe in living well and making the most of what you have got. I had a horrible boss when I first left school (understatement) but it pushed me into my current career, where I have done very well. Maybe if he hasn't been such a wanker I would still be working there, but then I wouldn't be as happy as I am. He's still going strong, still a millionaire, still successful - I haven't got a patch on him. But I'm successful and a millionaire in my own way (just not cash!)

I'm sorry for anyone that was bullied, truely, but holding on to hate or bitterness will only make you feel worse. Be happy with yourself, what you have accomplished, be proud of who YOU are.

livinginwonderland · 06/09/2013 07:27

I work in a shop and it makes me Sad that people might view me as being a failure because I don't have some high-flying career somewhere. I was bullied and I see some of the people I was bullied by - I have to serve them and be nice to them as well. I'm sure they think I'm a loser but I don't care, and I think that's what's important.

I don't feel sad for them or intimidated by them anymore - my biggest "fuck you" is the fact that despite their attempts to ruin my life, they haven't. I have a wonderful fiancé and even though I don't have a "career" as such, I'm happy. I don't feel the need to sneer at them, though Hmm

Morloth · 06/09/2013 07:37

I had a similar moment in the drive through of KFC once.

Was very smug.

Meh OP, as long as you were not actually rude to her, enjoy your smug moment. I did.

It has to be said though, I am a bit of a bitch. Grin

Pimpf · 06/09/2013 07:50

Living that is not what people have said. I know I don't feel that anyone working in a shop is a failure. But I do know that my bully would have felt it was beneath her, so if she was working in a shop I would find that funny. It would prove to her that she was no better and no worse than anyone else.

It's just one of those great fuck you moments. It doesn't have to be about someone's job, it's more about that as hard as they tried, you're still here and you're successful at what you do, no matter what your job.

If those people are laughing at you years later, it just goes to show they've learnt nothing and they're still a shit person, you however aren't.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 06/09/2013 08:00

thesecondcoming Do you not think it is ironic considering the point that you are trying to make that you are gloating over mustachio not knowing the difference between your and you're?

The only difference is that she did her gloating in her head and you did yours out loud.

BeerTricksPotter · 06/09/2013 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WreckTangle · 06/09/2013 08:28

mumoftwoyoungkids I think she left herself wide open for that. Declaring you have a degree instantly followed by the your/you're is kind of funny.

I work in a shop, I didn't go to uni, never worn a suit to work. To think I'm judged for working in a 'lowly' job is kind of sad.

The ad just below this text box made me laugh - very fitting for the thread.

www.sainsburys.jobs
Part-time jobs available at the new Sainsburys Cafe outlet in Harrogate

moustachio · 06/09/2013 08:33

wreck triangle I was stating I had a degree in relation to what I had achieved in my life. I didn't mean it as a boast about my academic prowess. To think I wouldn't know how to correctly use apostrophes is ridiculous anyway. I'm not one of those people who really cares about grammar, I definitly don't care when I'm on mumsnet, on my phone, in bed at 12am!

moustachio · 06/09/2013 08:35

If posters still feel that anyone is judging their service industry jobs, they clearly don't understand the thread at all!

Hullygully · 06/09/2013 08:37

what pimpf said

Nothing to do with sneering at people working in shops

everything to do with yeah so fuck you to bullies who are doing something they clearly feel is beneath them

I also agree that bullies are usually unhappy etc etc but that is no excuse for hurting the innocent.

BeerTricksPotter · 06/09/2013 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 06/09/2013 08:47

Of course! They need massive intervention and support, but they mustn't be allowed to make people suffer simultaneously.

BeerTricksPotter · 06/09/2013 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.