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To have smiled sweetly and said nothing to this school bully

515 replies

DrinkFromMyFountain · 05/09/2013 14:55

14 years ago I left school. There was one girl who made my life hell, said a load of nasty things about me and told me I would never amount to anything. She also said I'd end up single and Childless at 30 working in a shop. (NB I see nothing wrong with this, but it was meant in a horrible, nasty, put downy way). This was amongst various other things she said and did to try to make my life a misery.

This morning I took my car to the car wash and saw her working there washing cars.

I ordered my car wash for my naice car with my baby DS in the back and said "fancy seeing you here". She made a grimace of a face and carried on with her work.

Karma you beauty.

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 06/09/2013 19:45

Dare I say it but I can't help but wonder if LaQueen got reported for her saying on threads that she thinks certain posters are her haterz and follow her from thread to thread?

It's the same thing isn't it?

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 06/09/2013 19:45

Flounced? Not at all. And report away, I'm quaking in my boots, dear.

OliviaMMumsnet · 06/09/2013 19:48

OI!

HERE are the guidelines for EVERYBODY who may need a refresh Hmm
[stern]

Reporting is STRICTLY confidential but personal attacks are just not cricket.

I should warn that I have very little patience today as long day and no gin

TheSecondComing · 06/09/2013 19:48

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silverten · 06/09/2013 19:54

D'you know what? I'm not going to apologise for feeling good about meeting my bully working the checkouts on Christmas Eve. I've done jobs like that, nothing wrong with them- but whatever- think I'm a snob about that if you want. I know I'm not.

What made me smile inwardly was the fact that she looked so fucking miserable, not the fact that she was working the checkouts- the place was utter bedlam at the time.

She got treated by me like anyone in that position would have done- with politeness and the usual consideration I would extend to anyone as a matter of course. Part of what made me feel so damn good was being able to rise above it and behave like a decent human being at a time when our positions were somewhat reversed.

Hey, maybe her life is totes amazeballs- I don't know. Maybe she married a millionaire. Maybe she has achieved nirvana on her own personal plane of existence. I don't dwell on it.

So what if she was a child at the time? I managed to be both a child and not torment other people for jealousy, or because my home life was rubbish, or simply the fun of it. Lots of other kids did too.

I don't even think of my life now as a 'reward' for not being a bullying little shit when I was a child. It is what it is- I have what I have and I'm happy- that's the way the cookie crumbled for me. I'm lucky.

I merely enjoy the memory of the few moments when she was apparently miserable and I wasn't.

I like to think that after years of the grey fucking grimness that was my life at school, it evened up the balance a bit.

So what if it's gloating? I don't claim to be a saint. It stays in my head (and in pixels on an anonymous screen, now), because I am mature enough to realise that it's better to keep that sort of thing under control, and actually being spiteful achieves nothing.

everlong · 06/09/2013 19:56

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SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 06/09/2013 19:57

Such innocence.

Your post has been deleted now, obviously as it was a personal attack.

And yes, I'm on here all day, every day, as I fairly obviously have nothing better to do with my life

AmazingBouncingFerret · 06/09/2013 19:59

Would you have felt the same sort joy and smiled inwardly if she had looked miserable whilst being suited and booted in designer labels and taking a rather harassed sounded phonecall from a client?

TheSecondComing · 06/09/2013 20:00

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HappyYoni · 06/09/2013 20:03

But if it's not to do with the shop work, then how can her looking miserable make you feel happy? I genuinely don't understand.

If you took the shop out of the equation, say you saw her walking down the street looking miserable, would that make you equally as happy? Even if logic says she might be miserable because she has a sick child to look after or she's had a bereavement or some other horrible thing has happened to make her feel sad? Does that really make you feel good, to know (or suspect) that someone who was awful to you once is unhappy?

It just does seem like the shop element has quite a lot to do with it. As others have said, if you saw her leaving her top lawyer job or driving past in her fancy car, but looking sad, would that make you feel as smug as it did when you saw her working in a shop?

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 06/09/2013 20:04

Must go, I haven't Advanced Searched for at least 5 minutes, I'd hate to miss out on any mention of me.

TheSecondComing · 06/09/2013 20:07

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AmazingBouncingFerret · 06/09/2013 20:08

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LesserSpottedFuckwit · 06/09/2013 20:12

When folk say they aren't being sneery about someone's job (better than being on the dole eh?) they are lying. Otherwise why mention it all?

Because, for about the twentieth time, the bully had made a real show of sneering about exactly those types of jobs, therefore there is a level of irony in them doing them years later.
I have yet to see anyone sneering at the jobs themselves, only the irony of those who called them nothing jobs years ago, now doing them.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 06/09/2013 20:25

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silverten · 06/09/2013 20:28

It just does seem like the shop element has quite a lot to do with it. As others have said, if you saw her leaving her top lawyer job or driving past in her fancy car, but looking sad, would that make you feel as smug as it did when you saw her working in a shop?

Yup, would have felt just as good to see her looking miserable in a fancy car or posh suit. (I don't actually give a shit about whether anyone has better or worse gear than me, you see, and I don't judge other people's jobs. The only person I really compete with is myself.)

And like I said- I keep this stuff in my head, because I also know it's a bit shitty to enjoy schadenfreude.

You seem determined to focus on the shop thing. I think that says more about you than me, frankly.

Portofino · 06/09/2013 20:28

I'm with happyyoni, these were kids. They might have just been horrid, or they might have had extenuating circumstances. Whatever, in MOST cases they won't be like that now. Wishing them ill, or sneering, well what good does it do? It's just negative energy. I have met some truly unpleasant, some creepy, some angry people in my life. And I have met some truly lovely ones too. As a grown up we have to deal with this shit, and not let the nasty ones define us. Ignore and feel the better person. There is no need to sneer.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/09/2013 20:30

Fwiw, if I report a thread or post, I do so because I think it is nasty or troll-hunter-y, not because of who the poster or OP happens to be. And I don't go round shouting about it, because I thought MNHQ frowned on that.

But it is MNHQ who decide whether a thread or post deserves deletion, so they must have agreed with whoever did report that thread.

I did see TSC's thread that was deleted, and I did think it was unpleasant and insinuated that the OP of another thread was lying/a troll. I did discuss her thread on the other thread, but I did not link to her thread - the other OP spotted it by herself, as far as I am aware.

Bottom line - if someone has a post or thread deleted, it is their fault for breaking the guidelines, not the fault of people who reported the thread/post.

HepsibarCrinkletoes · 06/09/2013 20:31

What a deeply unpleasant thread.

reelingintheyears · 06/09/2013 20:35

Quite Hepsibar, of course it's ok to upset people by calling them paranoid though Hmm

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/09/2013 20:36

As I said earlier, I think that bullying leaves you, in some ways, stuck where you were when it happened, so the schadenfreude isn't being felt by a grown up, but by a hurting, victimised child.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 06/09/2013 20:38

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HepsibarCrinkletoes · 06/09/2013 20:40

I don't think any of this thread is ok.

Portofino · 06/09/2013 20:40

I have no idea what is going on here but it seems like a bit ironic given the subject matter.

TheSecondComing · 06/09/2013 20:41

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