Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

AIBU?

To think this man was somewhat justified in what he did?

164 replies

Loeri · 05/09/2013 07:02

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/10286653/Man-takes-dates-Blackberry-mobile-phone-after-she-refuses-to-pay-half-the-bill.html

It's 2013. A woman is taking the piss in going out on a date with no money, especially to a swanky place where two rounds of drinks cost £54! I really can't blame the man for being extremely pissed off with her and holding her phone as collateral.

OP posts:

Report

hardboiledpossum · 06/09/2013 09:09

I dont think she is at fault at all here. If someone buys you something they can't then demand you pay them for it after. I would see it as a gift at that point. If he didn't want to pay then he should have asked her for money before he went to get the drinks.

Fwiw i have never paid for anything on a first, second or third date. I do always bring money though.

Report

oldgrandmama · 06/09/2013 09:15

Well, he was hardly behaving like a gentleman, but she was silly to come out without any money. To have snatched her phone, though, was bad and extreme over-reaction.

Report

CuChullain · 06/09/2013 09:19

It would seem still that some women are all about "equality" until it's inconvenient.

Report

MrsMinkBernardLundy · 06/09/2013 09:38

I think the point of the case is he is saying as runigchick points out that he did not steal her phone as he did other intend to keep it. it is a weird quirk of the law tat if you don't intend to permanently deprive some of the item it is not theft.

However,what he did was actually worse which was to harass intimidate and put a woman in a vulnerable position in a state of fear.

On the question of who pays I am totally at all the people who conveniently assume the other party pays.
I not only expect to pay my share i actually would mother go out with someone who insisted they paid. i am not a piece of property and i value my financial independence.

that said my parents often still pay if we go for dinner

on a date is important for any future rs for me to set myself up as an equal from the start and that means equal share of the bill too.
Not in a niggly every penny way but keeping things reasonable square.

Report

MrsMinkBernardLundy · 06/09/2013 09:39

Doh phone typo i would mother i would not.

Report

CuChullain · 06/09/2013 09:42

^On the question of who pays I am totally at all the people who conveniently assume the other party pays.
I not only expect to pay my share i actually would mother go out with someone who insisted they paid. i am not a piece of property and i value my financial independence.

on a date is important for any future rs for me to set myself up as an equal from the start and that means equal share of the bill too.
Not in a niggly every penny way but keeping things reasonable square.^

Spot on, another vote for common sense!!

Report

Mia4 · 06/09/2013 10:37

He was being VVU to take her phone, he (as anyone else hould have) should have written off the loss, never contacted her again and if this was through a dating site he should have asked the moderators to add the 'tag' to her name that she believes men should always pay and won't offer to on the first date.

From the article it shows that the evening was't cut short until he asked her to buy a round and she refused to buy a round on the grounds it was the man's job. She was being VVU to refuse to buy a drinks round, preteend not to have any money (seriously, who believes that?) and be quite happy to sit there being brought them. He got two rounds in, it was certainly her turn. She should have gone out with the attitude that she may have had to buy a round and if she did she would have got one in and then cut the evening short, knowing never to contact him again.

She was selfish, he was aggressive. I hope the dating site tags both of them as such to warn other unsuspecting people.

Report

EmmelineGoulden · 06/09/2013 10:47

I can see that if someone has offered you a drink, it's reasonable to assume they will pay for it. But going out on a date without the means to buy anything indicates an intent to ensure the other person pays for everything. She didn't just decide she didn't like him (though she may not have), she went out intending to have a drink (at least) without paying. That's an entitled attitude, and one I find distasteful, but it's also got its roots in a history of sexist attitudes, social conventions and laws that did not and do not favour women.

Report

OctopusPete8 · 06/09/2013 10:48

Hmmm, I could never go out with no money whatsoever, I'd feel too cheeky.

But his response was insane, harassment and theft is not an appropriate response, could she not just have owed him.

Report

Pendeen · 06/09/2013 11:40

dahville

Your comment: "at best you sound a bit intolerant asking if the names are real" is not at all fair. I'm not at all intolerant. How would I know it is a 'common' name?