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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lighthearted, I'm not massively neurotic about it, but things people say which sting a bit.

60 replies

Caff2 · 04/09/2013 22:51

Today: unprovoked comment by adult "It's so hard to get rid of the mummy tummy after a baby isn't it? How old is your little one?" OUCH!

AIBU to think that's a thing which it's ill advised to come out with?

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/09/2013 22:57

Well that's just a horrid and bitchy thing to say! You should have said "Actually I have a terrible medical condition which means that my abdomen is swollen and have a habit of calling a bitch a bitch....bitch."

Original poster
Caff2 · 04/09/2013 23:00

I couldn't really, it's a new job where I don't know people, so I just did that laugh thing and said something like "yes, one of those things, I guess" and died a bit inside forgot about it Grin

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/09/2013 23:04

Well SHE felt it was ok to say that! Avoid her like the plague and any more mean comments, trot out the Mumsnet "polite" response "Did you mean to be so rude?" asked with a smile.

FastWindow · 04/09/2013 23:06

'I totally agree!! What strategy are you going to try next?What did you find was the least effective diet?' (all wideeyed and innocent)

Original poster
Caff2 · 04/09/2013 23:07

My "little one" is nearly fourteen months! Maybe I should say, "Oh, the fat? That's down to cake, I'm afraid."

OP posts:
DrCoconut · 04/09/2013 23:16

Someone asked me if I was pregnant. I just said no, I'm just fat, completely straight faced.

BOF · 04/09/2013 23:20

Definitely one for the DYMTBSR response- its not perfect for everything, but here, it should embarrass the divvy and show that you won't tolerate being undermined.

Original poster
Caff2 · 04/09/2013 23:26

It was a parent at my new teaching job, not a colleague, so I really couldn't say anything much!

OP posts:
thebody · 04/09/2013 23:27

what a complete fucking bitch. yes agree ^^ day that.

Original poster
Caff2 · 04/09/2013 23:29

And, and, I'm not that fat actually! justifies fat pointlessly I have got a bit of a tummy in relation to the rest of me though. when I say "a bit", I mean a kind of four months gone one...

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 04/09/2013 23:38

Hell yeah, I went out and let my hair down a bit this weekend. Bumped into my brother..he is 15 yrs my junior. on introducing me to his friends he said 'this is my beautiful sister'..the reply 'wow i didn't know you were related...I remember you from when i was a kid, you were hot IN YOUR DAY. i nearly cried

Original poster
Caff2 · 04/09/2013 23:43

Have some sympathy, Queenofallisee, I'm with you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Caff2 · 04/09/2013 23:44

At least your brother was nice, though. On the plus side.

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 04/09/2013 23:49

True! I mean, I am not hanging out to be called 'hot' by folks but am not ready to get a blue rinse yet!

shellsocks · 04/09/2013 23:50

I had it from my MIL Shock We had a little party welcoming DS into the world when he was abt 2m and I wore a maxi dress (quite flattering all things considered I thought!) and she looked me up and down and said 'funny how some people just lose the baby weight and others really struggle isn't it' I wasn't very happy!

goodasitgets · 04/09/2013 23:52

Two that I've had
"Well it's not as if you run so its not really exercise"
After a discussion about 5/10k races
"When did YOU last go to the gym"
Sad
Last one was replied with "oh. About 5hrs ago actually"

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 04/09/2013 23:53

I have to confess Caff that I did indeed say a similar thing to someone years ago. I did realise as soon as the words were out of my mouth though and felt awful. I honestly didn't mean it to come out like that and I didn't mean her in particular, it was just one of those generic sympathetic comments.

It came back to bite me on the arse. I put about three stone on having dc's and can't shift it. Sad

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 04/09/2013 23:55

Oh and another one but I was on the receiving end. Had a discussion with a friend about tampons in which I said I've never used them. She looked at me incredulously and asked 'what you just use towels?' and when I nodded she said 'eeewww!'

Is there something about towels that I don't know about?

Blush
BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 00:00

DYMTBSR - agreed. I bet it stings Sad

"But he looks so normal, are you sure he is autistic? How about threatening to take all his toys away, just giving him food you approve of and nothing else and smacking him really hard when he acts up?

He'll soon learn."

Said everyone ever. Until I found MN Smile

Original poster
Caff2 · 05/09/2013 00:00

God, I hope not! That's another thing - except I guess I'll be unlikely to dismiss my sanitary protection at work, so should get away with that one!

OP posts:
Original poster
Caff2 · 05/09/2013 00:01

Discuss, not dismiss!

OP posts:
BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 00:04

Oh there was a really good blog post about towels etc on the MN network recently.

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 00:05

here

thebody · 05/09/2013 00:06

Bella, how bloody sad and awful for you and your ds.

ggrrrr.

rascal1979 · 05/09/2013 00:09

Met a bloke who was a friend of my DP at a party and had the following exchange;

Bloke: Hiya
Me: Hi
Bloke: You've put weight on since I last saw you... and look better for it!
Me: Hmmm ok - We haven't met before!
Bloke: we have you lived at 'X' street
Me: Ahhhh no that was my DP's ex the younger and evidently slimmer one than me .....
Bloke: Ahhhhh You do look better than her though
Me: :/

I kinda took it as a compliment and went on a diet the week after

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