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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or just a bit too judgy for my own good

47 replies

IShallCallYouSquishy · 04/09/2013 18:10

An old work colleague I'm friends with on Facebook (I know I know) has posted a picture of her not quite yet 5 year old, with her naturally curly hair straightened and with hair extensions in. The caption was "what a babe"

Am I being to judgy as my DD is still a baby so I am of course the best mother in the world of 4/5 year olds Wink or would anyone else be a bit Hmm at this?

There does appear to be quite a few photos with comments about how beautiful she is just need her hair to grow/got make up on how pretty just need her long hair now etc...

Prepared to be told to mind my own!

OP posts:
misskatamari · 04/09/2013 18:13

I'd probably be thinking the same thing tbh. Hair straighteners, extensions and make up on a five year old just makes me uneasy. As does teaching a young child that that is what beauty is. I'm sure others will disagree but yep, I'm with you on this one!

picnicbasketcase · 04/09/2013 18:14

I would be just as judgy but tbh I'd keep my thoughts to myself. I can't think of a way to respond without really sounding offensive.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 04/09/2013 18:16

Bit odd, the little girl shouldn't be made to feel bad about her hair. Long hair doesn't = beautiful.

I was Hmm when I seen a picture of a 'friends' 3 year old DD who had a big bit of cucumber in her mouth and said "here's my sexy little girl, learning the facts of life" I was Shock Shock how could you think of a 3 year old in that way?!

Svrider · 04/09/2013 18:19

Omfg princess ShockShockShock

noisytoys · 04/09/2013 18:20

I straighten 5yo DD's hair because it is incredibly frizzy and hard to manage so a couple of sweeps of my wide GHDs and I can style it so its not to make it straight, more to make it manageable.

YoungBritishPissArtist · 04/09/2013 18:23

That's not the same as extensions, noisytoys, and you're doing it for convenience, not to make her a 'babe'.

rainbowfeet · 04/09/2013 18:23

I would be Shock at this too!!

Just wonder why you would want to do this to a 5 year old??!! Hmm

My dd is 10 & I straighten her hair a few times a year on special occasions & let her wear a bit of blusher, eyeshadow & lip gloss but it is rare & would never have done so at age 5!!!

FaddyPeony · 04/09/2013 18:24

FUCKING HELL princess. sorry for shouting, it's not at you! fucking fucking hell though. I think that's made me angrier than anything I've ever read on Mumsnet and that's saying something.

That kind of post about your own BABY should be illegal.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 04/09/2013 18:25

Svrider that was exactly my reaction. It was so disturbing!

AFishWithoutABicycle · 04/09/2013 18:27

I don't think straightening is bad If it makes it manageable. But the hair extension look is kinda of sexualised. Fine for adults but not a five year old IMO.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 04/09/2013 18:30

FaddyPeony it's unbelievable isn't it?! It was ages ago, but I still wish I had commented on it. I wish I had told her how fucking disturbing it was that she's thinking about her DD in that way.

Pixieonthemoor · 04/09/2013 18:30

Ok princessFlirtyPants you have just made me throw up a little in my mouth. That is just wrong wrong wrong. WHY would someone say that???? It's utterly revolting. OMFG what is with some people?

Mumof3xx · 04/09/2013 18:30

Bet when she's a teenager going out all tarted up they won't be as happy

PrincessFlirtyPants · 04/09/2013 18:32

Sorry Pixie

Calloh · 04/09/2013 18:32

That's grim.

And Princess that is so fucking weird. I can't even understand how one could think that about a 3 year old.

I think being judgemental is wrong if you are not taking into account other perspectives. I find different perspectives on overt sexualisation of children difficult to understand. And also the brain-washing that the best form of beauty to aspire to is the kind of play bunny type. Weird.

Calloh · 04/09/2013 18:33

I don't mean straightening by that - which is understandable. I mean the hair extensions and 'babe' bit.

meganorks · 04/09/2013 18:40

I would feel the same. Although was addicted to watching a show about American pageants for toddlers. Was just awful - hair pieces, make up, spray tans and 'flippers' (basically tooth coverings like false teeth for the slightly older girls who were losing milk teeth). They spent thousands on it so it is basically a contest in who has the most money to make their daughter look as fake as possible.
I just don't understand why anyone would do it

Thepowerof3 · 04/09/2013 18:40

The facts of life! WTAF

Crowler · 04/09/2013 18:44

NO.

YANBU.

Original poster
IShallCallYouSquishy · 04/09/2013 18:44

Bloody hell princess! And I thought my "friend's" picture was a bit off!
That's awful Shock

OP posts:
RiotsNotDiets · 04/09/2013 18:47

Surely posting sexually suggestive material involving a child is illegal?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/09/2013 18:48

My fb friend is a teacher and she did this! There was a deathly silence as nobody commented...her DDs beautiful curls were flat....it looked wrong!

PrincessFlirtyPants · 04/09/2013 18:51

Sorry, I've disturbed you all!

She is a very odd parent. Constantly refers to her 18month old DD2 as 'sexy' and teaches them to dance like on MTV, i.e shaking their bums. That isn't so creepy but when you couple it with the 'sexy' & cucumber comments its deeply disturbing.

Thepowerof3 I know, funny I wasn't aware BJ's were a 'fact of life' FFS.

IShall your friends is still a bit odd! But this... Oh it even makes me feel a bit sick to think about it.

cherrytomato40 · 04/09/2013 18:54

I am not condoning it but my 5yo DD has very curly hair and would desperately love me to straighten it, she is so jealous of all her friends with long straight hair. I would never do it as I know she would then pester me for it all the time and I wouldn't want to ruin her hair. BUT I can see how it would be tempting to do it just for fun.

Besides, I remember my mum putting my hair in rag rolls because I wanted to see what it looked like curly, surely it's not that different?

Am Shock at princess's post though.

HerrenaHarridan · 04/09/2013 18:58

I have a friend like this princess Sad. I we are both from the same scummy estate and I have known her forever.

Her calling my 9mo dd sexy was nearly the end of our friendship Angry

She says it all the time to her own dd and it makes me feel yucky AngryAngryAngryAngry

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