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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or just a bit too judgy for my own good

47 replies

IShallCallYouSquishy · 04/09/2013 18:10

An old work colleague I'm friends with on Facebook (I know I know) has posted a picture of her not quite yet 5 year old, with her naturally curly hair straightened and with hair extensions in. The caption was "what a babe"

Am I being to judgy as my DD is still a baby so I am of course the best mother in the world of 4/5 year olds Wink or would anyone else be a bit Hmm at this?

There does appear to be quite a few photos with comments about how beautiful she is just need her hair to grow/got make up on how pretty just need her long hair now etc...

Prepared to be told to mind my own!

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 04/09/2013 19:02

We have someone who sends cards with their"princess" pouting
(these have progressed from 5 to 10) with "what a babe". Seriously YASNBUAA.
Princess I really think nothing could shock me but , but... I do not know what to say.

Birdsgottafly · 04/09/2013 19:16

"Bet when she's a teenager going out all tarted up they won't be as happy"

Can't females just go out wearing Make Up, or well groomed without a label (particularly a nasty one) being applied?

Young women experiment with their appearance to fit into the culture they assign to, it isn't a comment on their morals, or lack of them.

On the OP's issue, I don't agree with the the comment about being a babe, but in my day all girls got their hair ragged and it a child has an older sister, or Mum has her mates get ready in hers before going out, then the child will want to dress up occasionally.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 04/09/2013 19:17

Herrena what on earth goes on in their minds?! Why on earth do they think its acceptable?!

HerrenaHarridan · 04/09/2013 19:28

I honestly don't know.

I like to think its one of those things that if she actually thought about it she wouldn't do it but she's actually a fairly intelligent person.

I do wish people would teach their daughters that their appearance is not the be all an end all Sad

primallass · 04/09/2013 19:47

My 5-year-old has very thick hair. Using the ghds on it means it is more manageable and gets less tuggy. Judge away.

In fact I used my Babyliss Big Hair on her this morning.

primallass · 04/09/2013 19:53

Oops I need to RTFT.

Callani · 04/09/2013 21:49

Thing is Birds they'll be happy to play dress up when she's little and tell her she looks sexy bleurgh but as soon as she's old enough to want to do it herself then I'm sure THEY will tell her she's tarted up...

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/09/2013 21:58

Prima Mine too....but I won't singe and scorch her hair in order that it's "manageable" I'd rather she had natural little girl hair which indeed is often "tuggy".

primallass · 04/09/2013 22:13

I've had ghds for about 10 years and have never singed or scorched my hair. I run them through the ends of her hair for a minute or so every couple of days.

She refuses to wear it up, and in fact I get a bit judgey pants re littlies with tight ponytails as they give me such a bloomin headache.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/09/2013 22:19

It damages the hair Prima whether you care to accept that or not it does.

primallass · 05/09/2013 13:30

Mine's fine thanks.

Wuxiapian · 05/09/2013 13:44

YANBU, Squishy.

You can imagine where the girl will be heading in 10 years time with a mother like that.

fuzzpig · 05/09/2013 13:55

YANBU (also joining queue of MNers scooping jaw off floor at princess' post)

EldritchCleavage · 05/09/2013 14:09

I think the worst of it is that at 5 years old the little girl is already being taught that appearance is all-important, and that her own self is not good enough and needs constantly to be enhanced in various ways. What a pity.

Minty82 · 05/09/2013 14:13

Oh god, if you're too judgy for your own good I definitely am - I HATE this sort of thing. And 'what a babe' is such a mindbogglingly inappropriate way to describe a child who should still be digging up worms in the garden etc...
Princess, your story is disturbing beyond belief.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 05/09/2013 14:23

Minty82 I wish it was a 'story'. Still horrifies me and it was a few years ago now.

To me, 'babe' and 'sexy' are not ways to describe your little girl. Sad

Minty82 · 05/09/2013 18:08

Sorry Princess - I just meant story as in anecdote. Certainly wasn't doubting you. Horrible.

Original poster
IShallCallYouSquishy · 05/09/2013 20:18

Glad it's not me being a big fat unreasonable judgy pants then.

I'm thinking about various photos that have been uploaded of this little girl. She's so cute with a cheeky little smile, little girl chubby cheek dimples and just adorable. And then she's pulling poses with her "hip" stuck out resting her hand on it or something similar. Makes me Sad I know there's dressing up and messing around, copying what's seen on tv etc... But this is just constant.

Tbh I'm probably going to unfriend this woman as whist I know we all bring up our children the way we want to, I just don't like seeing how much looks and "beauty" are being pressured and don't want to see these pictures.

OP posts:
PrincessFlirtyPants · 05/09/2013 20:22

Oops! Sorry, Minty82 I didn't think you were doubting me. Promise! Tone is sometimes hard to convey Smile

AdmiralData · 05/09/2013 20:27

My sister has an eight year old daughter whom she has been teaching to 'dance sexy' and 'dress up glam' for many years now. It breaks my heart because DN is such a little soldier, she loves to play in the park, climb trees and get into mischief but my sister is deliberately dressing her a certain way and letting her dance like a Robin Thicke extra ... argh..

AdmiralData · 05/09/2013 20:28

Sorry, digressed there. YANBU. My own mother almost scalped me when I was 12 to give me highlights with a cap and I screamed my head off but would she feck off and let me be a grimy little preteen? Would she feck.

thatisall · 07/09/2013 02:17

Omg princess I am seriously freaked out!!

OP I let my dd play with make up and she loves trying out different hairstyles. She's been doing it for years and is now almost 11. But I don't 'let her' or 'encourage her' so that she'll be sexy??? I allow it be aide I think that she like me sees it as a way of expressing herself and a bit of fun.
I think the disturbing part is the suggestion that it is to make her sexy or that she needs anything forthwr to be 'beautiful'

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