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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel overwhelmed by all the toys in this house

43 replies

kalms1971 · 04/09/2013 15:33

Ds has too many toys. Christmas, birthdays, it all mounts up. Tried to cull but he won't listen. Thinking of removing a few at a time so its gradual and subtle. Told him he will get one present only at Christmas if he doesn't let so me go. Tried to do a big clean today and it was difficult with all the stuff in his room. Any ideas please?

OP posts:
Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/09/2013 15:34

#some

OP posts:
TheSmallPrint · 04/09/2013 15:43

Big black bag and a charity shop. I did it this summer. The amount of stuff my children have is obscene (yes I know we bought most of it).

squoosh · 04/09/2013 15:43

Would he notice if you took a couple away day by day.

How old is he?

LisaMed · 04/09/2013 15:44

How old?

My ds has a birthday near Christmas. On 1st Jan you cannot move for toys/craft stuff/crap/crud and insane ideas from distant relatives. Uncle once got him a dog toy. That is, a toy for a dog. That is, a squeaky carrot.

We sometimes 'put things in daddy's room under the bed to keep it safe' and then get rid @ six months later when it's forgotten. Not always successful tho.

TiredyCustards · 04/09/2013 15:47

Get big storage boxes, one for each room.

And regularly get rid of ones he doesn't play with, while he's asleep or out.

LisaMed · 04/09/2013 15:49

Big mistake here. Over the summer I gave ds an allowance (which I over estimated, giving him £10 per week). Then we went to the local charity shop hot spot and ds had to budget, only get what he could afford, could save any left over but if he wanted something and needed to borrow from me £1 borrowed would mean £1.50 paid back.

Do you know how much crud £10 will get you in a charity shop for toys? And there was an Oxfam book shop so the two fuckoff tall Billy book cases are getting filled up - for a six year old!

I gritted my teeth, said to myself it was teaching budgetting, then random members of the family completely undermined this by paying for the expensive stuff. And I still ended up with a ton of stuff, including a headcovering, voice changing storm trooper helmet. (£5.25, ds was thrilled).

Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/09/2013 15:49

He is 7. Think best thing will be to remove gradually. We also have funny things like a voice changer which is loud and annoying and will be first item to go. Also the squeaky chicken :-D

OP posts:
Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/09/2013 15:51

Lol Lisamed. I had to ask my mum to stop taking him to charity shop as he always returned with yet more clutter!

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SilverSixpence · 04/09/2013 15:53

£10 a week for a 6 year old Shock I would probably give £2!

Beastofburden · 04/09/2013 15:54

Lol, just you wait. I have just decluttered the house with a huge van. It gets worse every year.

A skip, between Christmas and new Year. he makes room for all his shiny new things by allowing decluttering.

I never managed to do this but people told me I should...

Beastofburden · 04/09/2013 15:55

In my house a 6 year old got 60p but (a) I am mean and (b) it was a long time ago. £10 seems a hell of a lot though.

Beastofburden · 04/09/2013 15:56
  • my 19 yar old only get £50 a month Shock
maybe3x · 04/09/2013 15:56

I'm ruthless with any broken toys unless they're really loved, most tat that comes home from parties, McDonald's etc gets binned.

I'd start removing items you don't think he plays with much, keep them in the loft and if he doesn't miss them get rid. Mine don't usually notice they've gone.

Do a regular sweep so things don't build up especially before birthdays and Christmas and get rid of any they've grown out of.

Also toys are kept in the bedroom or conservatory in our house, I claimed back the other rooms as grown up space a few years back, well worth doing! If they start spreading to other rooms have tell them they must have too many and it's time to bin some Wink

Good luck!

MrsDavidBowie · 04/09/2013 15:58

Just have a clear out when he's at school.

CHJR · 04/09/2013 15:59

Don't bin things straightaway. Try hiding a boxful of toys he doesn't seem to have noticed lately, pull out anything as and when he specifically asks for it, and if he doesn't notice their absence after a while, then pass the box on to Oxfam. I feel your pain.. we're STILL drowning in toys because the age gaps among our children are so long.

mercibucket · 04/09/2013 16:01

if you have an attic, rotate some toys, 1 month played with then in attic
storage is v important to reduce clutter so get a lot of boxes, shelves etc
get him to give some away to a charity

VacantExpression · 04/09/2013 16:06

My youngest are 4 and 3. At the start of the summer they both saw a "big" toy they wanted. We then had to sell enough toys to make the money for the big toy. Result- loads of crap sold and a really good lesson for them! and less shit to clear up, for me

Maryz · 04/09/2013 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuskersCat · 04/09/2013 16:14

He is 7? Does your area do a Christmas present initive where kids who will usually get nothing get something, or a childrens charity shop? Tell him that other children need his things for x reason and that he can help by giving them x,y,z. Make it a little project, let him research which charity he wants to support, give him the choice of things to take (but tell him there has to be at least x amount of toys) and get him to take them himself.

oscarwilde · 04/09/2013 16:14

I can't abide clutter and I'm the first person ditch stuff ruthlessly but if someone went through my stuff and decided what was, and wasn't important to me and removed it, I would go interstellar. I think 6 yrs old is old enough to understand the concept of donating toys to charity and I would try that first.
I'd also give him 20 mins at the end of every day to clear the house of toys back to his own room (unless he has a toy box/playroom). Anything remaining gets binned or confiscated for a week (if valuable).

fuzzpig · 04/09/2013 16:24

Definitely time for a big sweep!

I'm a decluttering evangelist convert, join us :o

My DCs are playing so much better since I got rid of a lot of their toys, and I'm not even done yet. Less is more. Now is the ideal time to start a hopefully you have seen what has/hasn't been played with over summer, and you have a decent amount of time to get going and consider your clutter limits (ie how many toys do you want them to have in total) before Xmas!

There's also a great book called Simplicity Parenting - not to everyone's taste but you might find the early chapters on decluttering their bedrooms helpful.

Love the idea of getting DCs involved in charity donating too.

Jan49 · 04/09/2013 17:52

My ds is an adult now and if there's one thing I wish I'd done differently it would be to have bought less toys. A lot of them were second hand and bought by me and his dad. I used to buy Christmas presents without considering that he'd get lots from other people, so he ended up getting too much. We had years of our house being cluttered and me being stressed about it.

I would box it up so it makes his room easier to clean and also put some of the boxes out of the way, perhaps in a loft or garage if you can. Rotate them sometimes or get rid of stuff if you're sure they're of no interest. But I think the easiest way is not to buy it in the first place. My ds was very reluctant to get rid of anything. At one time I paid him per toy that he was willing to give away as an incentive to him.

Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/09/2013 18:01

Scooter for Christmas and nothing else! I must resist

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LisaMed · 05/09/2013 11:53

Putting stuff 'away' and then when he hadn't noticed it getting rid has worked the best for us. DS is showing a hoarder's attitude. This is not helping. I am staying firm that the answer is not more storage. The answer is less stuff! (I am trying not to be a hoarder myself)

£10 was definitely a mistake, my only defence was that it was strictly for the six weeks holiday only, and I was really stupid.

This year we are looking at a computer for him for Christmas. I am whimpering at the thought of getting a six year old a computer, but the house pc is dying, dh and I have laptops and ds is the only one using the creaking pc that is older than he is and a good deal slower. If it's something that big I can get away with just stocking fillers after that, can't I? We are going to get a new pc anyway as he likes his computer but I will only allow it if I can see it so sit behind him (on my laptop Blush) But it will mean less presents, right? Who am I kidding?

Two problems I have - his birthday is within a week of Christmas, so he gets shedloads for both. And I look at his presents and think, 'that's not a lot for a poor little lad, he'll be so disappointed'. Must.Not.Waver.

btw last year we had a birthday party at softplay. That was 20 extra items of well meaning tat just after Christmas. He is also the only child in the immediate family.

Good luck!

fuzzpig · 05/09/2013 12:57

Lisa - that needless guilt over 'not enough presents' is known as The Twitch :o

I really love buying presents for my family so I do find it hard not to buy too much. I'm getting there though, gradually cutting down on Stuff and taking my time finding the perfect gift (they don't really ask for stuff yet).

I totally agree that more storage is often not the solution - for us anyway, all it did was encourage us to buy even more stuff...