Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

To be angry at SIL for dangling DD?

70 replies

LittleRedDinosaur · 02/09/2013 03:41

We met up with SIL and family today at an attraction with a viewing platform which was probably the equivalent of 1 storey high. SIL carried 10 month old DD up and lifted her so her legs were dangling over the side. She had her arm around her waist and then said something like "your mummy and daddy think I'm going to drop you!". Her husband made a jokey comment about the Michael Jackson baby dangling thing.

IABU to have internally freaked out about that? DH immediately went to get her back as he could see I wasn't happy. I didn't say anything as I think they already think I'm massively PFB with DD because I don't leave her to cry it out ever.

Was I being too protective?!?

OP posts:

Report

Svrider · 02/09/2013 10:21

Just from another perspective
I have 3 DC, and my sil has a PFB of 6mo
Whenever were out and about together I try and make sure that my sil is happy and confident with what I'm doing with the baby
(Eg is he ok to have a go on the baby slide etc)

This is because I like my sil and respect her as the mum

Yanbu

I'd keep her at arms length from the DC tbh

oldgrandmama · 02/09/2013 10:27

Nasty thing for her to do - you definitely weren't being unreasonable. Bet you won't let her touch your little one again!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 02/09/2013 10:28

I come from the so relaxed i'm horizontal line of parenting but that made me shudder. 10 month olds love doing that rigid back thing (often when trying to strap them into a buggy...) I don't even want to imagine what could have happened if your child decided it was a good idea to fling her legs and back straight.

You are most definitely not being unreasonable.

MissDD1971 · 02/09/2013 10:29

what an evil witch. to dangle ANYONE let alone a child is awful.

I'd have thumped her or at least shot her evils. And snatched my little daughter out of harms way.

how anyone can think that's funny is beyond me. nasty woman

LittleRedDinosaur · 02/09/2013 10:57

Thank you all!

I'm starting to care less and less about whether SIL thinks I'm over protective. She is a bit of a strange one. There are a few other occasions where she has upset me (made me give DD's first Christmas presents to her own children to open last Christmas and told me that I "must be doing something wrong" as DD is a bit of a nightmare sleeper) but I try not to say anything as DH is lovely and I don't want it to upset him

It's good to be able to discuss here without causing some sort of family rift!

OP posts:

Ezio · 02/09/2013 11:05

Little You dont have to put up with her shittiness, if you dont want too!

lizzzyyliveson · 02/09/2013 11:09

Is she your brother's wife or your husband's sister? Either way, I would 'share the joke' with whichever Grandma of your child she is related to. Hopefully she will get her ears boxed put straight.

Dubjackeen · 02/09/2013 11:36

Bloody hell, YANBU. What a stupid thing to do. I wouldn't let her hold the baby again, any time soon. Keep well clear, is my advice, and ignore her opinions re your baby.

5Foot5 · 02/09/2013 13:30

My FIL did this with my DS1 when he was about 9 months old, held him sitting on a balcony on the first floor.

My FIL did the same with DD when she was about 2yo but when he saw the expression on my face he immediately brought her down and apologised. I am sure he had a good grip on her but could tell I was unhappy and was nice enough to respect my feelings on this.

googietheegg · 02/09/2013 13:32

What the FUCK!!! That is so wrong in so many ways. What a bitch.

bootsycollins · 02/09/2013 15:21

Arw Red Sil sounds a right one. Don't give the bitch an inch, if she says/does anything innapropriate pull her up on it immediately. How could you upset your lovely dh by defending yourself? it's Sil going out of her way to cause trouble not you. Don't ever let that bitch make you doubt yourself or put you down, if you deal with her assertively and she doesn't succeed at goading you into a meltdown she'll soon get bored and start ignoring you.

LittleRedDinosaur · 02/09/2013 16:54

Bootsy, you are totally right. Will attempt to keep my cool but not be pushed over either. Thank you

OP posts:

bootsycollins · 02/09/2013 21:08

That's it, show her your in charge and her attempts at manipulating situations to get a reaction won't be tolerated or ignored by you. You kept your cool when she dangled your baby girl so I'm sure that you can keep your cool in future with her. Say exactly what you mean to her, she's a shithouse who uses sly tactics so she won't know how to react when you give it to her straight. It'll be really self affirming and a good self confidence boost for you to apply your assertiveness and once you've done it a few times it does get easier. What a nasty piece of work she is, can you imagine doing this with sils baby?, new mums are vulnerable and need nurturing and supporting to make the transition into motherhood smoother. Sils actively trying to fuck with you by using your dd and when you think of it like that it's really sinister isn't it?.

BergholtStuttleyJohnson · 02/09/2013 23:21

YANBU. I don't get why anyone would risk this. Some people treat babies like dolls and not actual humans. If she'd fallen she could be seriously injured or worse. Your Sil is a nasty twat.

pigsDOfly · 02/09/2013 23:21

What a spiteful bitch. She wants to appear like the experienced mother who knows what's she's doing and can be casual and laid back around children. Stupid cow. No doubt she was waiting for you to freak out and then she would probably have gone on to try to make you look like an hysterical first time mother.

Well done for not letting her goad you OP. But as others have said, do try to keep her away from your baby in future.

Have confidence in yourself and your instincts and don't be afraid of speaking up. You have the right to keep your baby safe.

Lweji · 02/09/2013 23:34

If a SIL did that to my baby, it would be the last time she touched him.

Particularly with the comments.

LittleRedDinosaur · 03/09/2013 10:44

Thanks everyone. So glad I wasn't being unreasonable. I'm pretty sure you're all right re her goading me to react. Pleased I didn't but I do now feel more confident to firmly put her in her place next time she tries something like this.

OP posts:

bootsycollins · 03/09/2013 15:47

Excellent

Callani · 03/09/2013 16:26

Well my stomach's turned at the thought of dangling a child over a railing like that so YA Definitely NBU

Well done for not rising to it though, as she was definitely baiting you on purpose.

Wishfulmakeupping · 03/09/2013 16:44

Glad you feel more confident OP let's hope she doesn't try anything like this in the future

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.