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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit odd/bordering on sinister.....

83 replies

Gossipmonster · 01/09/2013 17:17

The kids and I have just got back from a weekend at my parents.

My very kind elderly next door neighbour fed my cat for me (he and his wife always do this for me while I am away) since Friday eve.

When we arrived home the cat was at the door to great us (bit odd in itself as she normally doesn't speak to us for days if we leave her) and my neighbour was upstairs in my sons attic room Hmm.

I think he does play with the cat for a bit as they are quite lonely and don't have a lot to do but AIBU to think this is a bit irregular?

I didn't say anything and just thanked him and took the keys back - he did look a bit embarrassed and now I am sat here feeling a bit icky Confused.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 01/09/2013 19:54

Could the old gent be thinking your DS might have had some interesting "mags" ? Shock

Salmotrutta · 01/09/2013 19:55

Sorry, I was being flippant.

FutTheShuckUp · 01/09/2013 19:55

He's clearly a raving paedo who has bugged his room to spy on him and share the footage with all the operation yewtree gang.

Is that what you mean fallenninja?

Bowlersarm · 01/09/2013 19:56

DeWe ....I could have sworn I heard footsteps upstairs. I went up to check...... you're brave! If that was me I would have hot footed it straight out the front door.

everlong · 01/09/2013 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

racingheart · 01/09/2013 20:03

I'm a bit Hmm about the people who say it's normal to have a sneak around when you are feeding animals. I feed a lot of local cats, and it's straight in for a feed and cuddle, straight out again. One local woman let slip she'd had a nosy in our bathroom and I didn't ask her to do it again. (she also used to make sure we fed her animals in her garage and the house was always locked up. Probably thought we were equally nosy.)

I think it's creepy to go upstairs, unless you hear the cat mewing but it doesn't come.

I'd choose someone else next time OP...

dufflefluffle · 01/09/2013 20:03

Well, if I was feeding a pet I would probably check every room before I left just to be sure all was well (not to nose even though I am very nosy - I would do my utmost to supress that urge). Years ago my grandfather was checking my parents house & feeding the cat. My friends and I were mitching from school and hiding out upstairs - if he had checked we'd all have been caught! As glad as I was that he wasn't so nosy thorough I would check and possibly re-check ever since even if it wasn't in the job description

milkwagon · 01/09/2013 20:06

Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong then it probably is....

I would have got straight to the point there and then and asked outright what he was doing.

sameoldIggi · 01/09/2013 20:07

I would go with the attic conversion theory. He is your neighbour, so presumably has the same house, bar the attic room? In that case I think I would want a look, to see how it has been converted - though I would probably just ask for a look, rather than doing it when you're away!

fluffyraggies · 01/09/2013 20:11

Thank you OP.

There's no big revelation to do with DSs age or anything - family are all sitting here hmmmm'ing and chin rubbing still Grin

For peace of mind i'd put it down to noseyness and resolve to ask someone else to feed the cats next time.

The poster who said that curiosity would usually be satisfied by a quick nose around on the first day struck a chord with me.

He11y · 01/09/2013 20:20

I remember a friend at school saying she was off home early as they were feeding their neighbour's cat and she and her mum couldn't wait to get round there and have a nosey about!

Also my aunty looked after her neighbour's cat and told me all about their house next time I saw her!

I'd ask someone else in future, but chances are they may well do the same!

guiltyconscience · 01/09/2013 20:20

He might just have been looking for the damn cat or checking the house to make sure all was present and correct in case cat had shat or peed upstairs like the bastards do !

SolidGoldBrass · 01/09/2013 20:20

I'm with the ones who think that if it was nosiness (or having a wank into your underwear drawer) he would have been more likely to do it on the first day, rather than when you were due back home and likely to catch him.

Possibly he heard a noise or was looking for the cat/checking it hadn't shat or puked anywhere.

Original poster
Gossipmonster · 01/09/2013 20:26

He has been in my house before though and looked after the cat for several years ...

OP posts:
SeaSickSal · 01/09/2013 20:27

God people are so suspicious. He was probably just looking to see where the cat was.

ImperialBlether · 01/09/2013 20:31

I think you should go next door and, when his wife is with him, ask him why he was upstairs. The cat was downstairs, so he can't say he was looking for him/her.

And standing too close to women is not what all old men do, only creeps.

lifesgreatquestions · 01/09/2013 20:32

I would probably have been inclined to ask him straight up, "hi, what were you doing upstairs?". I suppose you won't be having them look after you're cat next time?

everlong · 01/09/2013 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ravenAK · 01/09/2013 20:39

Going for a bit of a nosey (how they've got the layout of the rooms, not what sort of pants they wear) would be job 1, day 1 for me I'm afraid.

Getting caught on the top floor on the day of your return is definitely a bit weird. Especially since he didn't just say: just checking the cat hasn't left you any nasty surprises!

Maybe that is what he was doing, but he's quietly mortified at the previous incident because he realised at the time from your reaction that he'd been inappropriate? So being 'caught' wandering around discombobulated him ('shit, she already thinks I'm an old perv...') & robbed him of the power of explanation? Hmm

MadBusLady · 01/09/2013 20:39

And standing too close to women is not what all old men do, only creeps.

^ This. Can't believe some of the convoluted excusing going on here. If people do odd unnecessary things in your house and make you feel "cornered", just give 'em a swerve. You don't have to submit them to the sex offender register or anything, but why would you put up with behaviour that bothers you when you really don't have to?

ImperialBlether · 01/09/2013 20:41

Everlong, you really should tell your neighbour that that's what's happening. I would really hate it if one of my neighbours knew that someone was in my house when they shouldn't be.

everlong · 01/09/2013 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 01/09/2013 20:51

How long does she spend in there?

I still think you should say something to him. If he's a decent man he won't tell her you've said that, because he'll know you have his best interests at heart.

everlong · 01/09/2013 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SupermansBigRedPants · 01/09/2013 21:02

Blush I honestly always thought it was a 'thing' old people do! I'm not worth perving over so I'm probably just deafer than I care to admit to Grin