My Cat and My Neighbour. WWYD?

[Wingit]

I have 3 cats. Moved to this house when I was pregnant 2 years ago. Baby is nearly 18 months old now and is noisy, mobile and according to one of my cats obviously generally a pest. The other two cats aren't bothered.

My problem is one of my cats seems to have moved out and taken up residence at a close neighbours house. He wanders in her open back door, either eats her cats food or she feeds him and then sleeps all day in the sun in her garden and she lets him in at night sometimes too.

I'm quite sad. He used to come back every day to be fed, then it got further and further apart and now I'm lucky if he pops over here at all. I've not seen him for 4 days except for sitting on her wall.

I've only spoken to the neighbour about it briefly, I said I was quite sad and that I was worried that if anything happened to him that we may not notice for days because she would think he was here and vice versa. She said the above about his time there and also said that she usually tries to get him out when she leaves the house but "He won't go"

WWYD?

i dont bother chasing cats out of the garden or off my shed wall either, i'd be at it all day.
sounds from your op like the cat spends its time round at hers but outdoors
as you cant stop it trespassing, i guess she cant be bothered to make an effort to keep it out either

Think its unfair to take a cat to a rescue centre just because they've come into your garden!
By all means shoo it if it comes into your house but taking it away because its come into your garden is cruel to the cat and owners!cats do wander into peoples gardens owners cant exactly stop them, but to take them away from their home??
I cant use those collars as one of the cats nearly choken itself so refuses to wear one.

So you think she should stop feeding her own cat in the way she usually does to stop your cat, who you allow out of your home, from feeding at her house, and you think she should spend her days picking him up and putting him out constantly, which is what she would have to do if she didn't want to close her doors?

This.

And I say this as a current cat owner and as a cat owner whose cats moved out when the children arrived - we left them with the neighbour when we moved house as it was the right thing to do with the cats who hated the children.

*Your cat is sending a clear signal that it can't cope [with the kids] - and has found a loving person with a slightly quieter house to go to.

If I am ever reincarnated, it seems I could do a lot worse than being a cat.

badlad -

I don't actually have any kids, but there are two nephews living here, and a third on the way possibly a niece, and I love them to bits, but one of them is screaming a tantrum right now, and this thread just made me wonder about nipping out and trying to squeeze though a cat flap somewhere else.

Just for a few seconds

Sorry to take your thread off track, OP. I'll stop.

Hmmm.

Thanks for the replies from people who actually said what they would do in this situation.

I'm going to sleep on it.

I genuinely detest arseholes who feed cats that are quite clearly well looked after and owned by somebody else.

Yanbu to feel upset by it op

I'd knock on her door and ask her to stop feeding my cat. I'm sure a neighbour is feeding one of mine, I just can't work out who. If I could I'd be knocking on their door.

He's well looked after and has a flipping collar with my contact details on it ffs!

As has mine Alisvolatpropiis

He's a big chubby dude, with a flea collar on that gets replaced every couple of months. He's quite clearly well looked after to anyone who may meet him.

Many years ago I bought a rescue kitten home and my other cat moved out in disgust. I never did find out where she moved but saw her regularly sitting on my wall, glowering at me. She would let other family members approach and stroke her, but walk off if I approached her. Eventually she did forgive me and one day casually strolled in to the kitchen to her food bowl.

My rescue kitten grew up and we all moved house. A couple of months after our move I gave birth to first child. This cat was miffed that I no longer had loads of time for him and he moved to a house over the bridge where an elderly lady lived. Despite this, I always knew that he was my responsibility and part of my family. He visited regularly and, when we were moving house again, I went to the lady and asked if she wanted to take over his care or could we take him with us. She said her health was not good and although she loved his company, he should go with us.

He spent many happy years with us, making friends with a neighbour and living partly there and partly with us. He died at the age of 18 and I broke my heart. RIP Tabby.

An open door is an invitation to a cat.

Cats are free spirits, but they are like your children, they may leave and make a life elsewhere but they are always your family.

Aw Tabby1963

Thank you so much for saying that, it brought a tear or ten to my eyes.

We had two cats. They were brother and sister and the sister died so we got another cat to keep the other one company.

DC1 was a quiet cat, bit nervous of things.
DC2 was a rascal, very confident, would get into fights with other neighbourhood cats etc. They were not suited!
Then we made it worse by getting a dog and moving house. DC1 had had enough and decided to move in with the neighbour.

Neighbour fed and looked after the cat and if the cat ever needed a trip to the vets, neighbour would take him and paid and would let us know by means of a quick text. If we ever noticed anything wrong with the cat, we took him to the vets and paid. We both loved the cat and were genuinely looking out for him so vet fees werent an issue.

Our cat wasnt stolen, the cat merely chose new owners. She never locked him in the house and she cared for him like he had been hers all along. It was like we were seperated parents caring for one child! :)

DC1 has since gone to kitty heaven. His life was definitely made more comfortable by having the option to go to neighbours house as he pleased.

Awww tabby